Aug 302012
 

PornVids_2By Roger Barnett

Roger Barnett thinks we’re doing a disservice to young men by offering them porn as their only real form of sexual education.

I wish someone had sat down with me when I was in my early teens and had a frank chat about pornography and sex. In the absence of genuine information about sex, pornography became a de-facto educational tool, and I assumed what it portrayed was accurate. Needless to say, like many teens, this set me up to get about a hundred things wrong in bed in the future

I’m not anti-porn. Indeed, if we’re talking about sex between consenting adults, I’m decidedly liberal. But porn has its dangers and needs to be framed in some kind of context and coupled with real information. Otherwise, like me, our youth are in for an unpleasant series of surprises when they attempt to copy what they see in porn with their own partners; the real world is far more complicated – and interesting! – than much of what’s on our screens.

Before I divulge my sometimes embarrassingly earned lessons, I need to tackle a pervasive myth: That porn is fundamentally disrespectful towards women, and to enjoy porn is to be a misogynist. I used to assume this was true, and trying to reconcile my love of women with my enjoyment of porn was a challenge. Eventually I was relieved to discover that despite the presence of porn in my life, I didn’t hate women or want to treat my female partners badly. If the misogyny myth wasn’t true for me, then maybe it simply wasn’t true

The alleged link between porn and a hatred of women has never been demonstrated by research. Personally, I believe that if one already hates women (or men), one will find porn that expresses that hatred in a sexualised way. However, if in life you approach people with respect, then you will find that nasty porn is just not to your liking. We live in liberal times, and you have access to an incredible array of stimulus; keep searching until you find something ethical.

So here is what I wish someone had told me:

♦◊♦

1. No two people are the same, and no two people like the same things in bed. Further, what a person likes will change depending on who they’re with, and even at different times with the same partner. In mainstream porn, certain themes emerge, and it’s easy to assume that those recurrent patterns can be transposed onto all partners. It is better to start sex from a perspective of curiosity and a willingness to experiment (and watch the feedback), rather than with an arsenal of moves up your sleeve that might have worked for somebody else.

2. The sex and sexual techniques that are portrayed in pornography are selected based on what will look dynamic on screen, rather than what is enjoyable or what the actors themselves might actually like. This means that big, dramatic, and often hard-core sex scenes take up most of the time in porn, and the less grandiose and subtler things get left out simply because they’re not as cinematic. There’s a place for big, fast, athletic sex, but there’s also a place for slow, intimate acts done with the right attitude. As with all sex, the best way to navigate is to simply run some experiments, and ask for feedback.

3. A lot of heterosexual porn is somewhat stereotyped in terms of gender roles; he will generally be the pursuer, the active one, the one on top, while she will be pursued, more passive, and often be on the bottom. Sticking rigidly to these roles doesn’t work for most people. You’re short-changing yourself if you never switch things around and play with the dynamics, even if only for five minutes here and there, to see what you like.

4. All bodies are beautiful. Pornography (and the fashion and advertising industries, generally), cater almost exclusively to people of a certain shape, and we are led to believe that only these people are sexy. The truth is that what a person is like in bed depends on their relationship to you, and their relationship to their own body. The way they look gives you no information about either of these things – although the way they look at you will give you some hints!

5. Pubic hair is beautiful. Some people get rid of it, others don’t; both have their advantages. Learn to have fun either way, and love your own body either way. Being comfortable in your own body, however it looks, is perhaps the greatest gift you can offer to yourself and those you choose to share your body with.

6. Saying “no” is as much a part of sex as saying “yes”. It’s easy to assume, from watching porn, that a good lover will already know a hundred and one tricks to get any partner off. In reality, sex is a constant and creative series of experiments, some of which work, many of which don’t. There are no standards that work with all people, every time. Asking your partner to do something differently is a sure path to improving sex for the both of you, especially if it’s phrased as a positive request – “can you please try it more like this…?” – rather than simply “that’s not working for me”. Also, it should go without saying that if you don’t want something, you are always and unquestionably entitled to say a nice, clear “no” – both men and women suffer pressure to skip this important step.

7. Something that almost never comes across in pornography is the love – or at least the sense of intimacy – that exists between most partners.  It doesn’t make for easy screenplay, and most porn actors don’t have such feelings for one another. However, in your life, these are the things that will change sex from being a basic physical act, to a deeply moving and gratifying spiritual experience that brings you closer to your self and your partner (if you want it to).

(This point shouldn’t be read as a vote against casual sex with a relative stranger, if that’s what you’re into).

8. In the context of a relationship, sex starts hours, days, weeks before penetration – if penetration happens at all. When creating pornography, directors aren’t aiming to put together hours of tantalising dialogue and witty flirting, or even the unlimited varieties of foreplay that most folks enjoy; they’re pitching to an audience that they believe just wants to see explicit sex and lots of it, and so this is what is often produced. However, in real life, putting that much focus on just the hard-core parts of sex makes for some of the least enjoyable sex you could hope for. The way you and your partners treat each other throughout the day, and the way sex begins, makes a big difference to your enjoyment of sex.

9. The more you watch one particular kind of porn, or one particular body type, the more your brain will wire itself to associate that type of activity or person with sex. This has implications for your love life; be careful you don’t accidentally program yourself for a narrow band of enjoyment, as you might overlook a whole variety of other pleasures.

10. Porn works pretty well if you just want some relief. But again, you’re inadvertently programming yourself for quick, shallow orgasms if this is the extent of how you use it. Why not go the other way? – Set aside a couple of hours, rack up a suite of your favorite porn, and see how long you can hold out for. Soon you’ll be having orgasms you didn’t know were possible, and it will radically improve your love life, not detract from it.

♦◊♦

Good sex is both your right and it’s within your reach – treat it like any other skill that might benefit from some focus now and then. Pornography is not always useful as an educational resource, but nor is it pure evil. Let your own feedback and the feedback from your partner be your ultimate guide, and enjoy!

Originally posted on: Equality for Men and Women’s Facebook page and The Good Men Project

Aug 292012
 
tumblr_lrdl1qnaur1r16s5co1_500

tumblr_lrdl1qnaur1r16s5co1_500By ALYSSA HALFORD

Despite the cold I am wearing a microscopic skirt this evening. Thigh-high, black suede, stiletto-heeled boots to keep me warm under my long black coat. The coat comes in handy for more than just warmth. My top is raven-black and scoop-necked. My long red hair glows against the black. Black bra and panties complete the outfit. Crotchless panties. You never know how much time we’ll have to arrange ourselves.

I saw you over by the photocopier and knew instantly I wanted you. Not a lot of people left in the university library on a Friday night but here we are. Me, you, and The Stacks. A never-ending maze of shelves to hide in. I love having sex in public spaces and this library is one of my favourites, not only because it’s a public place but also because you have to be so quiet, so stealthy. I get an adrenaline rush just thinking about it.

I stop at your table and smile, catching your attention. The only other women here are a few ancient librarians, so right away you seem interested. I casually walk over to your chair, heels lightly clacking, and drop my card in your lap.

It reads “Follow me”.

I keep going. There is nothing to say. This is a reference library after all. No point getting thrown out for talking when we could be banished for acts significantly more interesting.

My Betty Page heels click down the stacks to a remote series of shelves. I don’t look back to see if you’re following me. I can hear you breathe. I stop at the end of the stacks where I’ve already set up a book cart for our convenience.

“Let’s not waste our time with words,” I say as I twirl about to face you, long black coat spinning open to reveal my slight outfit. I take your hand and place it on my upper thigh above the top of my boots. I move your hand up a little to caress my thigh then trace it over to my inner thigh. I smile and you look a bit embarrassed but smile back.

I lean closer to whisper in your ear: “If we must, we can always have a coffee later and talk about old times but for now I’d really like you to fuck me. You can call me Sophie.” I hop up on the cart which is, curiously, just the right height. Maybe those old librarians have a secret.

I spread my legs and take your hand to feel under my skirt. My pussy is waxed smooth as silk. Too much trouble, I say, to remove panties. I am already wet for you. You slide a fingertip inside me but I grab your hand and push you in further. You seem a bit nervous. Who wouldn’t be? We could be caught, arrested. You look over each shoulder but I can see your pants straining in front. You want to fuck me. Right here. Right now.

I hop down from the cart to kneel in front of you, treating you to a full view of my breasts peeking out over my scanty bra and low-cut top. I open the front of your jeans and take your cock out and glide it into my mouth. I take your hand to hold the back of my head and you caress my long hair which in the dimmed light of these back book aisles looks dark red, nearly crimson. I like to take advantage of the fact they keep the lights low here to protect the books. It works for us exhibitionists.

“You can pull my hair if you like,” I murmur, between licks and sucks. I like it rough and I know most guys tend to hold back because they have uptight girlfriends and wives. Not with me. Pull my hair and ram your cock hard into my mouth. I adore it. We’re animals after all, aren’t we? You finally realize I mean it and you fuck my face as though you’ve never had a blow job before. I play with your balls and take a strong grip on your shaft and stroke you while I suck the big purple head of your cock. You lean against the opposing shelf and close your eyes, your hands entwined in my hair as you pull me in, push me out, your hips grind into my face and I can barely breathe at times. It’s exhilarating. You are an animal. Pure animal lust. I can tell now you never get to have this much fun at home. You’re lucky if the girlfriend blows you at all, much less lets you touch her hair. Too bad we’re in the library or I’d let you do so much more.

I decide you’ve had enough and I get off my knees and return to my seat on the book cart. I spread my legs and brace them on the shelf behind you. I don’t need to lift my tiny skirt to show you what I’ve got.

“I’ll watch. You fuck,” I whisper as I grab your cock. I pull out a condom from my bra and within a second the package is open and I slide the condom on you.

“I’m so ready for you,” I whisper. And I guide your cock to my pussy, teasing my clit before pressing your cock hard against my cunt. You slide yourself in and we both sigh. Your cock completely fills me.

The aisle I’ve selected is particularly narrow which means I can rest my feet on the shelf behind you. As you start fucking me, I push back, making you go deeper. While you fuck me you caress my suede boots. I love to feel leather on my naked skin.

I lower my top to show you my breasts. The bra barely hides them, which is perfect for our situation. I like things a bit rough and ask you to pinch my pink nipples. You are a bit shy at first, but the adrenaline seems to be building in you and at my urging you pinch harder and fuck faster. I can feel myself getting ready to come but I want to hold off. It’s too soon. Time to bend over anyway.

“Roll me over,” I say and you take your cock out of me while I turn to bend over the book cart. My skirt is so short that I don’t even have to lift it up for you to see my ass. You are mesmerized by my ass and begin caressing and lightly slapping my cheeks. My crotchless panties leave my pussy and most of my ass exposed. I can tell you’re wondering how far we can go.

“Not this time,” I say. “Maybe another.” I want to leave you wanting more, wondering. I take hold of your cock and guide it into me. Once you’re finally in I can’t help myself and moan.

“Play with my clit while you fuck me,” I say. I take one of your hands to my clit and show you how I love to have my clit pinched and squeezed while I’m being fucked. Your other hand is pulling me into your groin and I grind myself as hard as I can against you. I can feel myself getting ready to come as you fuck me from behind. I don’t hold back because I love the feel of your cock this way. So intense. So deep. Your strong fingers on my clit. I take one of your hands to muffle my mouth to keep me quiet while I brace myself against the shelf and put my other hand over yours to squeeze my pussy and clit as I come. You can feel the contractions as I shudder into orgasm. I can tell you’re close but I want this to go on a bit longer. I reach behind and circle the base of your cock and squeeze, staving off your orgasm.

I pull you out of my pussy briefly so I can get onto my back again. The cart is surprisingly stable for this. I lift my legs up and brace them on your shoulders, the soft leather rubbing against your cheeks. You take hold of my legs and thrust in deeply. I push my breasts up for you to watch while you fuck me hard. I pinch my nipples and try to keep as quiet as I can but your cock is making me wild. I know you’re close now and I’m ready too.

“Come on my tits,” I say taking your cock out of my pussy. I pull the condom off you and stroke your shaft. My breasts show above the cups of my bra and I don’t care if you come all over it.

“Come on my tits,” I repeat. “Don’t be shy.” You place both hands on the shelf behind me and close your eyes a moment then open them as you begin to come. Your hot cum shoots all over my tits and bra and goes up my neck but that’s how I like it. I am certain you never get to do this at home.

“Fuck, fuck,” you say through gritted teeth as you rest your forehead into the suede of my boot. I know this is the best you’ve had in a long time.

You can get more sexy Sophie Sansregret at http://www.sophiesansregret.com

Share the smut:

Aug 232012
 

images-18/23/12  Reprinted from CNN.com  - By Ian Kerner

Editor’s note: Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex biweekly for CNN Health. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

(CNN) – With the blockbuster success of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” many people are curious about dipping their toes (not to mention other body parts) into more sexually adventurous waters.

I’m always careful to make clear that while the adventures of Ana and Christian may make for a compelling erotic yarn, their story is by no means an accurate depiction of BDSM relationships (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism), nor is “Fifty Shades” any sort of guide book.

For instruction on that topic, you’ll need to turn to the works of true sex-positive educators such as Clarisse Thorn or Tristan Taorminoand their books “The S&M Feminist” and “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” respectively.

But there’s no denying that “Fifty Shades” has sparked widespread interest in how to improve our sex lives — and what better way to do that than via a good “how-to” book?

If you’re uncomfortable talking about sex to your friends, doctor, therapist or even your partner, such books can be an important resource, whether they impart new information, help you work through an issue, inspire you to become more adventurous or simply turn you on.

So, in the spirit of sharing, I asked some of my favorite sex experts to pick their favorite sex books:

Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of “Sex Made Easy:”

“Hands down, I recommend ‘The New Male Sexuality‘ by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic in the field, it gives a rich picture of men’s sexual lives including myths they’re taught about sex and common problems such as erectile issues, communication blocks and rapid ejaculation as well as solutions for these problems.”

Joe Kort, a clinical sexologist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health:

“I recommend Jack Morin’s ‘The Erotic Mind,’ which helps remove the shame of sexual behaviors and fantasies by understanding what they mean in a nonsexual way. Morin addresses where fantasies and desires come from and how shame can be removed and replaced with healthy acceptance for individuals and couples.”

Stay-at-home dads are sexy

Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure:” ‘Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight‘ by Jamye Waxman and Emily Morse is a fun, sensual, seductive, creative and tantalizing book filled with more than 200 ways to tease, play, entwine and explore. When I coach couples who are in a sex rut, I suggest they use this book as a tool.”

Laura Berman, sex educator, researcher and therapist:

“If I had to pick, I would choose either ‘The Anatomy of Love‘ by Helen Fisher or ‘The 5 Love Languages‘ by Gary Chapman. Both are extremely helpful for couples to understand how men and women are wired differently and to learn how to love one another in a way that lasts.”

Justin Lehmiller, Harvard University social psychologist and online sex columnist at The Psychology of Human Sexuality:

” ‘The Technology of Orgasm‘ by Rachel Maines chronicles the history of ‘hysteria,’ a bogus female medical condition that led to invention of the vibrator. Maines’ book is a meticulously researched, fascinating and humorous look at the origin of hysteria and the birth of the motorized sex toy.

“I also adore ‘Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex‘ by Mary Roach, which traces the history of how scientists have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in a very engaging way that refuses to take itself too seriously and never gets bogged down in jargon or technicalities.

“On a personal level, ‘Bonk’ holds a special place in my heart for helping me realize how much fun a career in sex research could be.”

Megan Andelloux, certified sexuality educator and sexologist:

” ‘America’s War on Sex‘ by Marty Klein describes ridiculous sex laws and research that Americans are led to believe are true. It’s a must-read book for anyone interested in sociology, psychology, sexuality education, law and parenting.

“I’m also a fan of ‘My Secret Garden‘ by Nancy Friday, which discussed women’s fantasies well before erotica became truly popular.”

Are you too tired for sex?

I’ve read and recommend many of these books myself, and this list is only the beginning of many exceptional works worth exploring and learning from.

In my opinion, no list would be complete without Esther Perel’sMating in Captivity,” an excellent guide to integrating a sense of sexual mystery into long-term relationships.

And on a personal note, in 10 years of writing sex books, my first, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,” remains my most popular.

At the time, I often mused that many men — through no fault of their own — knew more about what was under the hood of a car than under a woman’s clothes or what was behind her orgasm.

In writing “She Comes First,” I am grateful to the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers and their book, “A New View of a Woman’s Body” (unfortunately now out of print) and to Rebecca Chalker’s excellent book, “The Clitoral Truth.” Any man or woman truly interested in deepening their knowledge of a woman’s full sexual potential should give this book a read.

No matter where your sexual interests lie, you’re sure to find something new on the shelves of your local bookstore. And if you’re too embarrassed to shop in person — well, that’s the beauty of the Kindle, Nook and other e-readers — no plain brown wrapper necessary!

Any books to add to the list that have helped you improve your sex life? Tell me about them in the comments below. I’m always looking for a good read.

Sexonomics: Putting your ‘erotic capital’ to work

Aug 232012
 

images-18/23/12  Reprinted from CNN.com  - By Ian Kerner

Editor’s note: Ian Kerner, a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex biweekly for CNN Health. Read more from him on his website, GoodInBed.

(CNN) – With the blockbuster success of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” many people are curious about dipping their toes (not to mention other body parts) into more sexually adventurous waters.

I’m always careful to make clear that while the adventures of Ana and Christian may make for a compelling erotic yarn, their story is by no means an accurate depiction of BDSM relationships (bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, masochism), nor is “Fifty Shades” any sort of guide book.

For instruction on that topic, you’ll need to turn to the works of true sex-positive educators such as Clarisse Thorn or Tristan Taorminoand their books “The S&M Feminist” and “The Ultimate Guide to Kink,” respectively.

But there’s no denying that “Fifty Shades” has sparked widespread interest in how to improve our sex lives — and what better way to do that than via a good “how-to” book?

If you’re uncomfortable talking about sex to your friends, doctor, therapist or even your partner, such books can be an important resource, whether they impart new information, help you work through an issue, inspire you to become more adventurous or simply turn you on.

So, in the spirit of sharing, I asked some of my favorite sex experts to pick their favorite sex books:

Debby Herbenick, a research scientist at Indiana University and the author of “Sex Made Easy:”

“Hands down, I recommend ‘The New Male Sexuality‘ by Bernie Zilbergeld. A classic in the field, it gives a rich picture of men’s sexual lives including myths they’re taught about sex and common problems such as erectile issues, communication blocks and rapid ejaculation as well as solutions for these problems.”

Joe Kort, a clinical sexologist and founder of the Center for Relationship and Sexual Health:

“I recommend Jack Morin’s ‘The Erotic Mind,’ which helps remove the shame of sexual behaviors and fantasies by understanding what they mean in a nonsexual way. Morin addresses where fantasies and desires come from and how shame can be removed and replaced with healthy acceptance for individuals and couples.”

Stay-at-home dads are sexy

Amy Levine, sex coach and founder of Ignite Your Pleasure:” ‘Hot Sex: Over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight‘ by Jamye Waxman and Emily Morse is a fun, sensual, seductive, creative and tantalizing book filled with more than 200 ways to tease, play, entwine and explore. When I coach couples who are in a sex rut, I suggest they use this book as a tool.”

Laura Berman, sex educator, researcher and therapist:

“If I had to pick, I would choose either ‘The Anatomy of Love‘ by Helen Fisher or ‘The 5 Love Languages‘ by Gary Chapman. Both are extremely helpful for couples to understand how men and women are wired differently and to learn how to love one another in a way that lasts.”

Justin Lehmiller, Harvard University social psychologist and online sex columnist at The Psychology of Human Sexuality:

” ‘The Technology of Orgasm‘ by Rachel Maines chronicles the history of ‘hysteria,’ a bogus female medical condition that led to invention of the vibrator. Maines’ book is a meticulously researched, fascinating and humorous look at the origin of hysteria and the birth of the motorized sex toy.

“I also adore ‘Bonk: The Curious Coupling of Science and Sex‘ by Mary Roach, which traces the history of how scientists have studied sexual arousal and orgasm in a very engaging way that refuses to take itself too seriously and never gets bogged down in jargon or technicalities.

“On a personal level, ‘Bonk’ holds a special place in my heart for helping me realize how much fun a career in sex research could be.”

Megan Andelloux, certified sexuality educator and sexologist:

” ‘America’s War on Sex‘ by Marty Klein describes ridiculous sex laws and research that Americans are led to believe are true. It’s a must-read book for anyone interested in sociology, psychology, sexuality education, law and parenting.

“I’m also a fan of ‘My Secret Garden‘ by Nancy Friday, which discussed women’s fantasies well before erotica became truly popular.”

Are you too tired for sex?

I’ve read and recommend many of these books myself, and this list is only the beginning of many exceptional works worth exploring and learning from.

In my opinion, no list would be complete without Esther Perel’sMating in Captivity,” an excellent guide to integrating a sense of sexual mystery into long-term relationships.

And on a personal note, in 10 years of writing sex books, my first, “She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman,” remains my most popular.

At the time, I often mused that many men — through no fault of their own — knew more about what was under the hood of a car than under a woman’s clothes or what was behind her orgasm.

In writing “She Comes First,” I am grateful to the Federation of Feminist Women’s Health Centers and their book, “A New View of a Woman’s Body” (unfortunately now out of print) and to Rebecca Chalker’s excellent book, “The Clitoral Truth.” Any man or woman truly interested in deepening their knowledge of a woman’s full sexual potential should give this book a read.

No matter where your sexual interests lie, you’re sure to find something new on the shelves of your local bookstore. And if you’re too embarrassed to shop in person — well, that’s the beauty of the Kindle, Nook and other e-readers — no plain brown wrapper necessary!

Any books to add to the list that have helped you improve your sex life? Tell me about them in the comments below. I’m always looking for a good read.

Sexonomics: Putting your ‘erotic capital’ to work

Aug 182012
 

tumblr_mbwt0gwznz1rs34auo1_400By Alyssa Halford

You wanted him for months now. You see how his dark eyes follow you and you grow wet knowing how you turn him on. You watch him too, whenever you can; appreciating his broad shoulders and lean, muscled build you know is hidden by his finely tailored suit. You wonder how big his cock is, what it will feel like inside you as he pushes you over the edge. You want to take his cock in your mouth and suck it all day. Maybe sit under his desk and service him while he works. You could be his slave for a day, his hand pulling the back of your head in closer as his body wracks with orgasm shooting hot salty cum down your throat.

Maybe you will just keep working late and one night it will all pay off. You are sure he notices you are here every night he is. You always have work to do but you have other things on your mind. Do you need to be the one to initiate? That seems to be the way the world goes now. Very well. Tonight, you decide, will be the night.

You have taken extra care with your appearance. You are waxed smooth as silk, your legs wrapped in stockings for a change. You are wearing boy-cut panties so delicate and lacy that they can scarcely be given the name. They are the softest silk and already they’re growing damp as you think about his fingers sliding over them to pull them from you. You are wearing a good grey suit with a shorter-than-usual skirt. Cream coloured blouse as unbuttoned as your uptight office allows. Your bra matches your beautiful panties. Lacy and push-up and surprisingly easy to remove. Don’t worry, you will do that for him, slowly. You have waited a long time for this night and you want to savour it. Your legs are accentuated by your high black heels. A good three inches at least. They are beautiful shoes, gorgeous Italian patent leather, slender heels that border on stiletto. They say I’m yours, fuck me hard. You have better shoes at home but they aren’t for walking. Maybe one day you can lure him there and wear them as he fucks you wildly from behind over the island in the kitchen. But for now, it’s business formal and his blue silk tie is just for his shirt.

Your hair has been tied up tightly at the back of your neck, showing the world you mean business. You want him to be the one to take the pins out and let your hair down. Perhaps while you sit between his legs, his giant cock fucking your mouth. Thinking about his cock swelling at the sight of you makes you breathe a little harder. You imagine your tongue teasing over its head, sucking hard, licking the shaft, one hand stroking and your other between your own legs feeling how wet he makes you. Your hand is there now, under your desk. You are stroking yourself to orgasm thinking about tonight. It doesn’t take long.

But the day does. It’s a very long and tedious day. You have to sit across him in a meeting which drones on forever. You imagine him disappearing under the conference table to crawl to your seat, pull your panties down and slide his fingers into you while he sucks hard on your clit, no one the wiser. You look him right in the eye and smile. Just a careful smile lest anyone think there is something going on between you. You are letting him know you want him. You think he understands. You fiddle with your buttons and brush away an invisible stray lock of hair. You see him look surprised but he smiles back.

You want him. You want him in as many ways as you can think. You are sure he has ideas of his own too.

The day is finally over and people leave. You tidy your desk. You may need it later. You see him lingering in his office doing “busy work”, probably something mundane like his time sheet. One more person remains, then you are going over.

Finally. The secretary is gone. She waves, asking you to remember to lock up for the night. You wave back, Oh you bet I will lock the door. You head over to his office, walking on your fuck me shoes like you were born to wear them.

His door is open so you knock quickly on the frame. You know you have to take initiative but really you are hoping once you start, he does with you what he will. You are all his.

“Hi,” you say, slowly entering the office at his nod. “Working late?” The conversation is perfunctory, bordering on the stupid, but you are not really here to talk.

“I am.  You too?” His voice is deep. A true man’s voice. He is no boy in a suit. He is a testosterone-rich man’s man. A man with a bad boy look and a healthy libido. Not a man to fall asleep after one quickie. The first round will be just to take the edge off. He’s good for all night.

“A bit.” You edge in a bit more, suddenly nervous. You don’t know how to start. You want to get close to him but now fear rejection. You find your nerve though and enter, walking deep into his office to stand behind his desk to look out his window.

The tension can be cut with a knife. You are less than two feet away. You can hear each other breathe.

“Cold out,” you say awkwardly, fiddling with the button of your blouse. Your blouse is already open and you know that if you turn and bend down he can see all the way to your navel. The electricity in the air is making your shyness dissipate.  You want to get fucked. Tonight. By him.

It’s then that you feel his hand on your leg. Just a light touch but it shoots through you like wildfire, a direct line to your clit. He has touching the back of your knee. You can feel yourself grow wet already.

You turn to him and see he is already growing hard.

“I’m going to close the door,” you whisper.

“You stay there,” he says. “Don’t move. I’ll do it.”

He gets up and with the grace and predatory assurance of a panther he shuts the door, locking it. You have never been in his office before and take a quick peak around. Because of this position he has a large office. Long desk, meeting table and chairs, a few overstuffed chairs and even a sofa and coffee table for entertaining clients. His desk may be a bit low for your needs but you note the credenza is just the right height.

All this reconnaissance is done in a second before he returns to stand behind you, reach around and pull the blinds shut in one lightning move.

You can feel your heart pounding. Blood rushes to your face. You are blushing at your boldness.

He sits again as he was before, placing a hand firmly around each of your legs and pulls you into him, turning you to face him. His face lines up with your breasts and you can feel his hot breath on you. His hands begin a journey up your legs, enjoying the silk. He reaches the top of your stockings and stops, revelling in the smoothness of your skin. His hands climb up further, now well under your skirt which slides up. His thumb rubs you between your legs, over your panties. He swiftly stands, his large hand behind your head, pulling you closer for that first deep insistent kiss which makes your heart skip a beat. His tongue probes, the kiss is perfect, passionate, and breath-taking.

While he holds your head for another kiss, the other hand rubs your clit through your panties. A small moan escapes you. He knows instinctively where to touch you. You can feel your desire grow for him. You are ready for him but you want this to last. You want to touch him too. As he rubs he quickly slides a thumb under your panties to touch your naked, dripping pussy. You gasp.

“Take your skirt off,” he says. You oblige, still blushing. He steps back a few inches so he can watch you. You carefully unzip the skirt and slide it slowly down your hips. He sits back in his chair. He likes what he sees. The skirt puddles at your feet and you step out, shoes still on. You remove your jacket too. Now you are wearing only black heels, stockings, panties, cream silk blouse and bra. Your hair has a life of its own and is already tumbling a bit from its pins.

“What can I do for you?” You ask. You know what you want to do, you want to pull his pants off and suck his cock. You don’t wait for him to answer because you know what he wants. You kneel in front of him and take up his hand, pulling it to the front of your blouse. He unbuttons you but you leave the blouse on, your bra and breasts peeking through the dark material. Your skin is smooth. Your breasts push-up from your bra, stopping just short of your nipples. He leans close and spreads his knees to reach him better. You unbuckle his belt and unzip his pants, reaching in to grab him through his shorts. His cock is hard now, you can see. It’s big too. You knew it would be. You draw his cock through the front of his shorts and bend your head down to take him in your mouth.

His cock is so full in your mouth. You tease him at first, licking the tip of his cock before plunging it deep into your mouth. One hand around his shaft, stroking him. You suck him, wanting to fill your mouth completely with his cock. You move closer to take as much of him in your mouth as you can. You can feel the head of his cock hit the very back of your throat. You can feel how hot his cock is. Feeling his hardness inside you makes you want him even more. You look up at him and hope he can see how much you love sucking him. He reaches down to loosen your hair, pulling the waves about his lap.

With your free hand you reach between your legs and touch yourself. You are hot for him. You can feel him thrusting now in your mouth but you don’t want him to come yet. You want this to last. You rub yourself quickly and come. But you want more. You want to feel has cock thrusting inside you. You want to feel his hands on your hips pulling you closer as he fucks you, his cock going deep. You stop sucking him. You don’t want this to end and perhaps another time you will suck him until he shoots his hot come down your throat but for now you want to fuck.

You stand up. “Fuck me,” you say. He leans over and reaches for your panties which he pulls down and you step out of. He stands to remove his pants and shorts, has erection standing tall. He lifts you to sit on his desk at the very edge and spread your legs wide. “Leave your shoes and stockings on,” he says.

You nod. Words are not needed.

He kneels in front of you and spread your legs, leaving your pussy exposed. He quickly finds a box or two for you to rest each foot on so that you can stay on his desk with your legs spread wide for his pleasure. Your stockings and shoes glimmer in the reduced light of this office.

He begins to lick you. Small licks at first, then this mouth covers your pussy and he teases and sucks on your clit until you nearly come. But he stops. “Not yet,” he says. “You’re already one up on me.”

He slides a finger inside you, then another. He begins licking your pussy again while he thrusts with his fingers, fucking you savagely. Oh, you are ready for him.

“Enough,” you say. “I cannot wait any longer.”

He stands and slowly begins to press his big cock into your wetness. He is a big man and it’s been a while since you have been with anyone so it takes a moment before he can get all the way in. This huge cock fills you. “There,” he says once he’s inside. Then he puts a hand on each of your buttocks and lifts you, taking you to the credenza.

Once he has seated you on the credenza the fury starts. He fucks you like he has been a man starved in the desert. Your cunt wants more of him and you urge him on. “Harder,” you say while pulling him closer to you. This cock is hitting just the right spot inside you and you can feel your orgasm build. You know you’re close too but you want to prolong this. It’s too good.

“Bend me over your table,” you say, finding it hard to breathe. “Fuck me from behind.”

A few more thrusts and he stops, withdraws, and takes you to the table which he clears with one quick sweep of his arm. He bends you over and spreads your lips and slides his cock in without preamble. You don’t care. You are ready. He reaches around you to squeeze your clit as he fucks you brutally from behind. His other hand pulling on your hair. He begins to come, grabbing your clit hand to squeeze as the shudders wrack your body. You can feel his cock pulse as he comes, his final thrusts as he moans “fuck, fuck fuck” through gritted teeth before he falls over you, sweaty and breathing hard.

Please enjoy Sophie’s Blog at: www.alyssaHalford.com

You can also follow her on Twitter: @AlyssaHalford

Aug 152012
 

GL_Logo

This week we faced a challenge: to put together a list of 10 amazing sex blogs! It was hard, there are so many great sex blogs out there, but we have finally narrowed it down. Containing everything from tasteful erotic photos to sexual health advice these blogs have it all!

Click here to see the rest!  GET LUSTY

Aug 152012
 

GL_Logo

This week we faced a challenge: to put together a list of 10 amazing sex blogs! It was hard, there are so many great sex blogs out there, but we have finally narrowed it down. Containing everything from tasteful erotic photos to sexual health advice these blogs have it all!

Click here to see the rest!  GET LUSTY

Aug 122012
 

man-opening-door-for-ladyby Brett & Kate McKay on June 8, 2011 via “The Art of Manliness”

Readers email us surprisingly often with questions about opening doors for women. AoM readers are interested in being gentlemen and obviously understand the basics of this traditional act of chivalry: when you get to a door before a lady, you should open it for her. But they wonder about scenarios where the set-up isn’t as cut and dry.  What do you do with revolving doors? What about doors that push in instead of pull out? Do you keep holding the door for others after your date has gone through?

In today’s post, I’ll attempt to offer some guidelines to help a gentleman navigate a variety of door-opening situations.

A Word on Door-Opening and Other Acts of Old Fashioned Chivalry

Before we get to the ins and outs of door opening, let us take a moment to discuss its place in modern society, because not everyone feels its a tradition worth preserving. There are some women who are offended by it because they think it implies the inferior status of women–that women are too weak to open doors for themselves. Kate thinks that if you’re dating a woman who takes umbrage at having the door opened for her, that’s a red flag, because it signals that she does not understand that a woman can be smart and independent while still being playful about gender roles. I can’t really speak to that, so I’ll let the ladies duke it out. Then there are men who think you shouldn’t do things like open doors for women because if women want to be fully independent and equal these days, then they need to give up being treated with any special consideration. To me this is an entirely wrong-headed approach to relationships, because it’s premised on the idea that everything must be tit for tat. Yes, you open doors for a woman, but your woman probably does special things for you. If she doesn’t, then that’s the problem, not chivalry itself. It’s madness to think that equality must mean doing the exact same things for each other and constantly keeping score.

Personally, I think preserving a few small differences in the expectations of male/female behavior, simply as symbols of our differences, keeps things fun. Rules and traditions give life texture and meaning, as opposed to living life in an entirely blah postmodern wasteland. Sameness is boring. Differences create attraction.

The Ins and Outs of Opening a Door for a Woman

There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is too ignore it altogether. The other is to over-think it and overdo it, and thus make it weird and awkward. So keep that in mind as you read these guidelines; the most important thing to remember is simply to be natural and to use common sense! It’s definitely not too complicated; these guidelines are simply designed to allow you to be smooth, instead of standing there havy-cavy, wondering what to do.

Opening doors for women requires their cooperation. If you get to the door before a woman, opening the door is simple. Just open the door and hold it for her. Things get awkward when you and your gal arrive at the door at the same time or she gets there before you. In these types of situations …

Read the rest of the article here: THE ART OF MANLINESS

 

Aug 122012
 

man-opening-door-for-ladyby Brett & Kate McKay on June 8, 2011 via “The Art of Manliness”

Readers email us surprisingly often with questions about opening doors for women. AoM readers are interested in being gentlemen and obviously understand the basics of this traditional act of chivalry: when you get to a door before a lady, you should open it for her. But they wonder about scenarios where the set-up isn’t as cut and dry.  What do you do with revolving doors? What about doors that push in instead of pull out? Do you keep holding the door for others after your date has gone through?

In today’s post, I’ll attempt to offer some guidelines to help a gentleman navigate a variety of door-opening situations.

A Word on Door-Opening and Other Acts of Old Fashioned Chivalry

Before we get to the ins and outs of door opening, let us take a moment to discuss its place in modern society, because not everyone feels its a tradition worth preserving. There are some women who are offended by it because they think it implies the inferior status of women–that women are too weak to open doors for themselves. Kate thinks that if you’re dating a woman who takes umbrage at having the door opened for her, that’s a red flag, because it signals that she does not understand that a woman can be smart and independent while still being playful about gender roles. I can’t really speak to that, so I’ll let the ladies duke it out. Then there are men who think you shouldn’t do things like open doors for women because if women want to be fully independent and equal these days, then they need to give up being treated with any special consideration. To me this is an entirely wrong-headed approach to relationships, because it’s premised on the idea that everything must be tit for tat. Yes, you open doors for a woman, but your woman probably does special things for you. If she doesn’t, then that’s the problem, not chivalry itself. It’s madness to think that equality must mean doing the exact same things for each other and constantly keeping score.

Personally, I think preserving a few small differences in the expectations of male/female behavior, simply as symbols of our differences, keeps things fun. Rules and traditions give life texture and meaning, as opposed to living life in an entirely blah postmodern wasteland. Sameness is boring. Differences create attraction.

The Ins and Outs of Opening a Door for a Woman

There are two ways to mess up etiquette. One is too ignore it altogether. The other is to over-think it and overdo it, and thus make it weird and awkward. So keep that in mind as you read these guidelines; the most important thing to remember is simply to be natural and to use common sense! It’s definitely not too complicated; these guidelines are simply designed to allow you to be smooth, instead of standing there havy-cavy, wondering what to do.

Opening doors for women requires their cooperation. If you get to the door before a woman, opening the door is simple. Just open the door and hold it for her. Things get awkward when you and your gal arrive at the door at the same time or she gets there before you. In these types of situations …

Read the rest of the article here: THE ART OF MANLINESS

 

Aug 092012
 
What-Casual-Sex

By Nicole Daedone Originally posted on her site www.NicoleDaedone.com on August 8, 2012

This is what I have come to understand.  There is absolutely zero context for men to know how to fuck a Turned On Woman—meaning a woman who is free, who is capable of what I call Unconditional Sex; sex that is not saddled with “conditions” such as promises of wedding proposals, dishwashers, babies.  A woman who owns her sex and does not need to use it for barter, who has the wealth and luxury—both energetic and emotional—to use it for her pleasure.

A man I’ve been seeing said, “Yeah, we (men) don’t know what to do because that kind of woman is like a unicorn”.

Sex has been the purview of men, and as such its uses have mostly been masculine.  Not a problem in and of itself, but in my opinion a woman’s touch is needed in the arena of what it “means.”  I see a polarization of sorts, where, running from sex-as-gravely-significant or sex-for-procreation, the masculine veers way to the other end of the scale: devoid of any emotion, connection or caring; wanton, gluttonous.

The only reasons for a woman to engage would be (a) desperation, (b) the “god-given” woman’s agenda (to snag a man in her snare) or, worst of all, (c) that she approaches sex “like a man.”  In the present context it is absolutely impossible that a woman could maintain her femininity; still like to yield and surrender; want deep connection and love sex… with—gasp!—more than one person.  (Oh, and not be salacious and therefore open to anything from BDSM and gang bangs.)  Within the game as it exists, this is a total non-sequitur.

We lack gradients, we live in an either/or perspective.  Either a woman’s legs are locked and closed and safe and healthy or else they are open to just about anything flying in there.  In the present context it is unthinkable that a woman could both practice discernment and feed her beast.  I suppose that it is assumed that she is too fragile to tame the thing.  And I suppose this is because we underestimate the power of love as the most powerful trainer.

One of the responses I get most often is that it…  View full article »

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