I remember years ago, when I was but a young lass of 15, I saw, in the back of my Us Magazine an ad for “The Tongue.” It was an oral sex simulator with a vibratortor base and a silicone “tongue” on the other end. Oh, how I wanted that toy! I tried to figure out ways I could buy one without a credit card or, even be able to hide it in my room. Later on, when I came of age and had my own apartment, I was able to purchase one for my very own. I had wild fantasies of orgasmic nights with my new toy and soon it would arrive in the mail and I would be able to have that luscious feeling of a tongue between my legs without the bother of seducing a man.
When “The Tongue” arrived in the mail, I promptly tore of my clothes to take it for a spin.
It was awful. I likened it to a limp celery stalk thrashing my vulva and labia up and down while deafening me (and probably the neighbors) at the same time.
Ever since then I’ve been in search of a competent cunnilingus toy that would arouse and excite my nether-regions and give me the simulation of my favorite of all sex acts. So, when the Sqweel came out I was one of the first in line to buy it. Again, a disappointment.
So, when I saw that they made a new version I was excited to try “the new and improved Sqweel 2 .”
Sadly, the second generation refinements were unnoticable to me. My issues with the Sqweel have always been the same:
1) It’s really, really loud. Really. Apparently, the Sqweel 2 is supposed to be quieter than the Squeel 1 but I didn’t notice a difference.
2) The position of the controls makes it very uncomfortable to use.
3) The motor isn’t strong enough.
4) The silicone material used for the “tongues” needs to feel closer to the real thing.
5) Cleaning it is not fun.
Between the noise, placement of the controls, I couldn’t get off (and believe me, I REALLY wanted to). Add in the fact that cleaning it is a bit of a hassle, I think it’s more trouble than it’s worth. Now, on the positive side, the Squeel 2 would be great for sensation play on the rest of the body or even stimulating the clit as a precursor to oral pleasure. Imagine your partner blindfolded and tied to the bed while you run a (water-based) lubed up Sqweel 2 all over her body. Mmmm, I think it would feel divine! Just make certain the object of you affection has ear plugs in or it might ruin the mood. All that being said, if a noisy toy doesn’t bother you and/or you require a lighter touch, go ahead and try the Sqweel 2. If you don’t like it, Lovehoney (the manufacturer, who was kind enough to supply me with this toy) has a fantastic and VERY generous 100 days, no questions asked return policy.
I have to say, I really love that this company is trying… they really are trying. There are so few cunnilingus toys out on the market (two, I think?) and Lovehoney is on the right track with the Sqweel … it just needs to be refined. I applaud Lovehoney for putting so much time and money into a cunnilingus toy. I hope and pray they get it right next time. I believe in you Lovehoney! I know you can do it!!! Ever the optimist, I will happily try the Sqweel 3, if they make one, and hope that my need for automated oral satisfaction is gleefully met. – Lady CheekyShare the Smut: via @TheElleChase