Category Archives: Missives

Bawdy Storytelling Comes to Los Angeles This Week!

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Help me welcome the amazing Dixie De La Tour and her rockstar storytellers this Wednesday, February 27th in Los Angeles! I’ll be there, so please say hi! If you’ve never been to a storytelling show before this is a great way to get your feet wet. Smart and smutty stories from some of L.A.’s best storytellers and sex nerds! Bring a dirty mind and some smelling salts because it’s called BAWDY Storytelling for a reason! – Lady Cheeky

FEATURING:

- Sex educator & Podcast Phenom Sex Nerd Sandra (@SexNerdSandra)
- Moth Host & Emmy nom’d writer+producer Brian Finkelstein (@bsfinkelstein)
- Host/Producer of the Midwest Teen Sex Show, Author NIkol D S Hasler (@NikolHasler)
- Music/Adventure/Mad Science by Rich Riggio
- And YOU! This is part curated Bawdy Storytelling, part BawdySlam: share your 5 minute story for prizes & braggin’ rights
- Giveaways from Big Teaze Toys

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 27, 2013

Doors at 7:30,
Show at 8:30 PM

El Cid 
4212 Sunset Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90027
(323) 668-0318

TICKETS:  http://BawdyStorytellingSecretlifeLA.eventbrite.com/

Tickets $15 or $12 in advance thru Feb 24th

Bawdy Storytelling – America’s Original Sex+Storytelling series featuring Real People and Rockstars sharing their bona fide sexual adventures – is coming to LA! Entering it’s seventh year in San Francisco, Bawdy Storytelling (the J. Edgar Hoover to your size 13 cha-cha heels) will draw LA’s smartest and smuttiest to El Cid’s stage to share tales of our ‘Secret Life’: sex with strangers, assumed names, role playing, and that time with the best boy, the key grip and a roll of gaffer’s tape in the editing room <yes, we know about that>.

This show will be a mix of renowned sex-positive celebrities for the curated portion of our show, followed by BawdySlam (where people just like you take to the Bawdy stage and share personal and intimate adventures for prizes and the title of Dirtiest Storyteller in LA!

Bawdy’s award-winning take on sex and storytelling has made it not only a “don’t miss” event in the cities we’ve already conquered, but it serves as a gathering of the bold, the beautiful, and (if our fan mail is to be believed) an awesome first date destination. Each themed evening of true dirty stories features tales of carnal wins and epic fails with no scripts, no nets, and no holds barred. You may even go home with a few new tricks for your boudoir arsenal!

The historic El Cid is a treasured Silverlake Landmark. Now it’s under new management, and has a new menu under the direction of renowned chef Olivia Hernandez. This is going to be a very special evening. Think tapas, cocktails and flirting…

About the Storytellers:

mg_2785a- Sandra Daugherty (Sex Nerd Sandra) is a passionate sex educator based in Los Angeles. Her irreverent humor and quirky love for details has given rise to her moniker, Sex Nerd Sandra. Sandra is the resident sex blogger on Chris Hardwick’s Nerdist.com. She also works & teaches at The Pleasure Chest in Los Angeles and coaches individuals. She has been seen on ‘Keeping Up with the Kardashians,’ the pilot episode of The Wanda Sykes Show, & has also lent her voice to both Playboy and Spice Radio. Sandra believes human sexuality should be a distinct field of study as it is a distinct & important aspect of our lives. And she, for one is happy, quite happy, to study it.

normal- Brian Finkelstein is a regular performer and teacher at The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles, as well as the host of the LA Moth Story-slams. He has performed his solo shows in a variety of venues from the HBO/US Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen to the 2012 Summer Nights Festival in Perth, Australia. He’s also an Emmy-nominated writer for his work on The Ellen DeGeneres Show. Currently his screenplay, Good Grief is being produced by 72 Productions and he’s touring with The Moth.

images- Nikol Hasler is the Producer & Host of The Midwest Teen Sex Show (a regular in top ten iPod health podcasts) which gained press attention from the Wall Street Journal, Glamour Magazine, CBS Evening News with Katie Couric, Nightline, and even The O’Reilly Factor, among others. Hasler has been called upon to be an expert to discuss issues such as teen pregnancy rates, AIDS awareness, and the rise of sexually transmitted infections in American teens, and her video and screen writing work has included original videos for Hearst Corporation and One Economy Corporation She is the author of “Sex: A Book For Teens” which features back cover endorsements from Dr. Jocelyn Elders and Betty Dodson, and has written for Glamour, Fray Quarterly, Beatweek Magazine, RH Reality Check, Alternative Press Magazine, Crushable.com and The Onion’s A.V. Club Chicago.

dixie2 - Dixie De La Tour founded San Francisco’s ‘blue personal narrative’ movement almost five years ago in a Burning Man warehouse. The off-color nature of her life was at odds with her diehard love of storytelling until she decided to create Bawdy Storytelling, a place for other people with poor self-control to share their antics, too. As a card-carrying pervert who sports both Southern charm and a mouth that would make a Sailor blush, she’s earned her Ph.D in sex-positive culture after more than a decade of hosting, promoting and throwing underground sex parties and events. Dixie runs Bawdy Storytelling full time, writes for the zine SanFranSexy, and recently left full-time employment in Women’s Marketing for an Adult Dating & Hookup site (where she wrote porn star bios and content for the women’s sexuality site SheLovesSex, plus served as Community Moderator for people on the make). She’s currently working on a book of her own adventures, and is planning to take over the world – one bawdy story at a time.

A Treatise On Beauty

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By Lady Cheeky

I think it’s the perceived imperfections in people that make them interesting and therefore … to me … more beautiful. If this photo were generated by a traditional adult industrial complex the blemishes on her legs, the folds and texture of her skin, the bra strap indentations, would all be airbrushed out.  But, leaving her photo like this, shows us the inherent sensuality in the human body.  The authenticity of this un-retouched form illuminates the natural sexuality in a vulnerable moment captured for the sake of capturing it. Certainly, beauty is subjective.  I see beauty in a lot of traditionally “beautiful” images as well … but to me, this is a deeper, more satisfying beauty.

Thank goodness for people who post photos like this.  They are the quiet revolutionaries that fight with generosity instead of  aggression or pomposity.  They are the lanterns of authenticity gently beckoning all of our collective ships to find a safe harbor within our own appreciation.

Photo: Unknown

The Pleasure in Giving Pleasure By Camille Crimson

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If you’re here, then you must like smut and you must be smart.  That makes you my kind of person.  When Lady Cheeky and I were talking about some type of guest post/collaboration for the site, we were very much on the same page right from the beginning, with ideas firing off left, right and centre.  It’s exciting to be in that type of conversation: two women, thrilled to be talking about sexuality and their minds.  While we ping-ponged correspondence, she was sweet enough to wax philosophical about why she likes what I do.  (What I do, in case you didn’t know, is make loving, sensual and respectful porn all about blowjobs.)

As she addressed the values of actually enjoying what you do, I got thinking.  It’s all well and good to believe that people should love giving pleasure, but it’s not quite as easy as that, especially depending on their personal experiences.  It’s just like anything else that you know is important and good for you, but isn’t necessarily easy to do.  Sometimes your presence of mind is there and you are able to do it, and there are moments where it seems like it could totally become routine and eventually natural for you, but then something stalls and you feel out of place…  Learning a new routine is hard.

So what do you do if you find yourself giving pleasure more out of a sense of duty than from a deep desire within?  What if you don’t have that innate natural urge to do that thing your partner loves?  Well, you have to give yourself some reasons, some time to ruminate on them and remind yourself that it’s a process.

There are a lot of good reasons to learn to love to give sexually.  Among them, it really does improve sex.  If your partner is feeling like you care about their pleasure, they’ll have an infinitely better time.  And not that it’s all about quid pro quo, but (in many cases) the more you give, the more you get.  Being open to giving pleasure fosters an environment that encourages that for both of you.  By receiving pleasure, your partner is reminded of how good that feels and hopefully the cycle will continue.

In order to give pleasure, there needs to be a lot of communication, whether it’s verbal or body language or just feeling the energy between you.  The more you unfold about the way they like to feel, the more you’ll understand them.  Not that sex is always an indicator of the way people are in other aspects of life, but you may find yourself with a deeper appreciation for their little quirks…  You may see more of them in everything they do by unfolding this new side.  Having this type of insight can mean so much for a relationship.

There’s also a real sense of empathy that can crop up.  That isn’t to say that you will feel bad for not naturally being a pleasure-giver, but getting close like this can put you in tune not only with their physical reactions, but with their emotional ones too. Seeing your partner in the afterglow of amazing sex can bring up so many feelings.  It can be quite an incredible experience, and you really do get hooked on that sensation.  Everything leading up to that moment becomes all the more exciting and necessary in retrospect, and that does help to shift into the pleasure-giving mentality.

It’s nice to develop a new skill.  It makes you feel good about yourself to feel like you’re good at something, and making your partner feel amazing is one of the most beautiful and complicated things you can do.  It’s not always going to happen, but even in the pursuit of an orgasm, you create amazing sensations.  It’s an excellent self-esteem boost, not just for a job well-done, but for opening up and getting better in tune with this part of yourself.

That’s a wonderful thing.  It does take a certain vulnerability to be able to really give yourself over to creating sensuality.  It’s not just as simple as giving a blowjob or a handjob or whatever it is you’re trying to appreciate from within…  It’s about accessing a whole different level of eroticism and connection.  it’s a path to understanding yourself better, because you go through things and you think about your reactions and your preconceptions in order to get there.  It may sound cheesy, but there is an element of a journey to really getting in touch with a way to enjoy giving pleasure and making that a part of your life.  It’s not going to be easy, but it’s going to be worth it for everyone.

ABOUT CAMILLE CRIMSON:
Camille Crimson is the webmaster and performer behind TheArtofBlowjob.com and SlowMotionBlowjob.com.  She also keeps her own blog at CamilleCrimson.com and has had writing recently featured on xoJane.com, GoodMenProject.com and has a weekly advice column on Fleshbot.com.  She believes that blowjobs can be sensual, connected and fun and that porn can truly be beautiful.

Kind Kisses: A Short But Vivid Memory

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By Lady Cheeky

She was leaning against the modern wooden  room divider in a black lace bra and panties set. The hard wood cutouts made the position uncomfortable, as did the plus size thigh-high digging into her skin. She felt the top of each thigh-high and tried to adjust them so that the bubble of skin the elastic made was less noticeable, to no avail. She had oiled her body out of the shower. Supple and with a sheen was what he liked to see upon laying eyes on her for the first time in weeks. He said he longed to feel the slip of his fingers on her skin when he put his hands around her waist in preparation to kiss her. She longed for this too … so much, the thought made her slippery above those ill-fitting thigh-highs she had given up on. She heard the electronic key card allow entry and her expectation as she heard him pad deliberately into the room almost made her cum right there. As he turned the corner to see her against the divider he said “close your eyes”. She did as she was told.  She felt him close to her … maybe an inch … his breath mingling with hers in timed beats. And then she felt them. The tiniest, sweetest of kisses being bestowed on her cheeks and down her jaw. Little raindrops of him upon her forehead and nose. Making certain his delicate balance was felt on each side of her face, he made certain she only felt his lips … that’s all he wanted her to feel … just his kind kisses … and that she was loved.

(SEE the continuation of this story in IT’S BEEN AWHILE in EROTICA)

One of my favorite love scenes from literature …

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PLAYBOY OF THE WESTERN WORLD     BY JM SYNGE

CHRISTY MAHON:

It’s little you’ll think if my love’s a poacher’s love or an earl’s itself, when you’ll feel my two hands stretched around you, and I squeezing kisses on your puckered lips, till I’d feel a kind of pity for the Lord God (who) is all ages sitting lonesome in his golden chair.

Let you wait, to hear me talking, till we’re astray in Erris, when Good Friday’s by, drinking a sup from a well, and making mighty kisses with our wetted mouths, or gaming in a gap or sunshine, with yourself stretched back unto your necklace, in the flowers of the earth.

PEGEEN:

And what is it I have, Christy Mahon, to make me fitting entertainment for the like of you, that has such poet’s talking, and such bravery of heart?

CHRISTY:

Isn’t there the light of seven heavens in your heart alone, the way you’ll be an angel’s lamp to me from this out, and I abroad in the darkness, spearing salmons in the Owen, or the Carrowmore?

PEGEEN:

If I was your wife, I’d be along with you those nights, Christy Mahon, the way you’d see I was a great hand at coaxing bailiffs, or coining funny nick-names for the stars of night.

CHRISTY:

And to think I’m long years hearing women talking that talk, to all bloody fools, and this the first time I’ve heard the like of your voice talking sweetly for my own delight.

PEGEEN:

And to think it’s me is talking sweetly, Christy Mahon, and I the fright of seven townlands for my biting tongue. Well, the heart’s a wonder; and, I’m thinking, there won’t be our like in Mayo, for gallant lovers, from this hour, to-day. (Drunken singing is heard outside) There’s my father coming from the wake, and when he’s had his sleep we’ll tell him, for he’s peaceful then.

SYNOPSIS:

On the west coast of County Mayo, Christy Mahon stumbles into Flaherty’s tavern. There he claims that he is on the run because he killed his own father by driving a loy into his head. Flaherty praises Christy for his boldness, and Flaherty’s daughter (and the barmaid), Pegeen, falls in love with Christy, to the dismay of her betrothed, Shawn. Because of the novelty of Christy’s exploits and the skill with which he tells his own story, he becomes something of a town hero. Many other women also become attracted to him, including the Widow Quinn, who tries unsuccessfully to seduce Christy at Shawn’s behest. Christy also impresses the village women by his victory in a donkey race, using the slowest beast.

Eventually Christy’s father, Mahon, who was only wounded, tracks him to the tavern. When the townsfolk realize that Christy’s father is alive, everyone (including Pegeen) shuns him as a liar and a coward. In order to regain Pegeen’s love and the respect of the town, Christy attacks his father a second time. This time it seems that Old Mahon really is dead, but instead of praising Christy, the townspeople, led by Pegeen, bind and prepare to hang him to avoid being implicated as accessories to his crime. Christy’s life is saved when his father, beaten and bloodied, crawls back onto the scene, having improbably survived his son’s second attack. As Christy and his father leave to wander the world, Shawn suggests he and Pegeen get married soon, but she spurns him. Pegeen then laments betraying and losing Christy, The Playboy of the Western World.