Jun 142014
 
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Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!
Hanne Blank Believes That Your Body is Already Your Best Body Ever

BY ELLE CHASE – I don’t personally know Hanne Blank, but yet this scholar and author happens to be my body image guru/super-hero. Hanne, a doyenne of the Body Acceptance Movement, and has written two books on the subjectBig, Big, Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them), The Unapologetic Fat Girl’s Guide to Exercise, And Other Incendiary Acts, as well as many books of erotica.

“A survey of college students found that they would prefer
to MARRY 
an EMBEZZELER, DRUG USER, SHOPLIFTER,
or a BLIND person than someone who is FAT”¹

I have done a lot of research for my workshops, lectures, panels and talks on body acceptance, and the dearth of material that supports a positive, loving, non-shaming and totally realistic philosophy dealing with one’s body image is surprising and Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!disappointing. Hanne Blank is the only writer on body image whose book I was not only easily able to find online, but I also found almost always in stock in brick and mortar chain bookstores like Barnes & Noble. What does this mean? This means that her books are popular enough to stock and re-order.

I think her next book,  52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever will be as popular as her other two, if not more. As a woman of size, having read her previous books on body image, I believe it’s essential to proliferate Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!more respectful, intelligent, useful and supportive literature on body-image out there in the world.

In one woman’s informal experiment, it was estimated she was exposed to; 386, 170 negative messages about her body each year (and that’s without watching commercial TV). In fact, one study reports that women alone see 400-600 advertising images about physical appearance a day and, as stated by ‘Body Image and Advertising’ ³

“… by the time she is 17 years old, she has received over 250,000 commercial messages through the media. Only 9% of commercials have a direct statement about beauty, but many more implicitly emphasize the importance of beauty–particularly those that target women and girls. One study of Saturday morning toy commercials found that 50% of commercials aimed at girls spoke about physical attractiveness, while none of the commercials aimed at boys referred to appearance. Other studies found 50% of advertisements in teen girl magazines and 56% of television commercials aimed at female viewers used beauty as a product appeal. This constant exposure to female-oriented advertisements may influence girls to become self-conscious about their bodies and to obsess over their physical appearance as a measure of their worth.

The diet industry earns an estimated $40 billion dollars a year on our collective backs, hammering home that if we don’t look a certain way we are less desirable. For those of us affected by self-loathing, the negative messages we receive daily about our bodies every day from advertising alone feels like a losing battle to fight. In fact, it’s been reported, that;

“In America, overweight women suffer the preponderance of weight-based discrimination. They are not viewed as “normal human being[s] with normal needs, desires, virtues and vices” ² 

That’s not to say that men escape the mission creep self-hatred. In 2006, researchers for the University of San Francisco found that when college age men watched more than the average amount of TV and played more than the average amount of video games, they found those particular men were uncomfortable with at least one aspect of their body, which they directly correlated with having a less satisfactory sex life.

As I mentioned earlier, Hanne Blank is working on her latest book:  52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever! This is NOT a diet book. This is a book about accepting your body where it is at the moment and loving yourself NOW. Hanne Blank is raising money to fund this book project and there are only 4 DAYS LEFT with a little less than $400 to go to meet her goal. Donating to help get this book finished and in the marketplace is one of the most generous and life affirming, sex-positive, self loving acts you can perform, to encourage not just people of size, but ANYONE with a perceived body image issue they want to conquer.For me, Big, Big, Love serves as a virtual splash-of -cold-water on my face when I notice the negative self-talk nudge it’s way between the neutral and the positive, and I start to feel less worthy. NO ONE should ever feel that their worth is diminished, especially for their outward appearance. Hanne’s new book would make a huge difference to any person who is overwhelmed with self-hate, desperately looking for a book to help assuage his/her loathing. Imagine the feeling of relief someone might have (like I did) when they find this book online or on the bookshelves.

If I were fortunate enough to have the income to get Hanne Blank to her goal, I would do it without a second thought. However, because I’m not able to give financially (yet), I am asking the long-time or casual readers of this blog to donate  (if they have the capacity) whatever their budgets will allow, to help bring a book to marketplace. In a sea of “Bikini Body Workout Plan” (Seventeen) magazines and “The (insert trendy word here) Diet” books, don’t you think everyone could benefit from something to read that actually shows us that we are valuable human beings?

I’ve posted the video explanation for the IndieGoGo campaign below, but I really hope you click on the IndieGoGo site to read the full description and see how awesome this book will be. I hope you feel as grateful as I do, to have the opportunity to have a hand in bringing this book to those who need it.

To donate to the IndieGoGo campaign for

Hanne Blank’s 52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever!

Click below:

Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!

 You can learn more about Hanne Blank and buy her books at: www.HanneBlank.com

Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!

 

 

 

Glossary:

 ¹ Maine, M. (2000) Body Wars: Making Peace With Women’s Bodies, Carlsbad: Gurze Books.

² Goodman, W. (1995) The Invisible Woman: Confronting Weight Prejudice in America, Carlsbad: Gurze Books.

³ Source: Body Image and Advertising . 2000. Issue Briefs. Studio City, Calif.: Mediascope Press. Last revision was April 25, 2000.

May 082014
 
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I got to cross this off of my 2014 wish list!  I love me some Sex Nerd Sandra, (really, who doesn’t?) So when Sex Nerd Sandra called me, and asked if I could come in that afternoon to record a podcast, I had to squelch a nerdy, audible ‘chirp’ of delight.

We recorded 2 shows; one on ‘Big Beautiful Sex’ and another that came from a conversation Sandra and I were having about me taking a break from dating. The other half of this current episode of the Sex Nerd Sandra Podcast is her conversation with brilliant, sex-positive therapist, Kate Loree, LMFT who shares her insightful opinions on dating and making good choices. I learned a lot from listening to Kate, and I know you will too. So, even if you’re sick of me, check out Sandra and Kate’s half of the podcast you’ll be glad you did I promise. :)


Please to enjoy, HERE

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For more on Sex Nerd Sandra:                                                For more on Kate Loree, LMFT:

Web: www.SexNerdSandra.com                                             Web:  www.KateLoree.com

Twitter: @SexNerdSandra                                                        Email: kloreelmft@gmail.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com/sexnerdsandra                  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/kates.loreelmft

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Mother’s Day Weekend 20% off site-wide sale.

 

Mar 222014
 

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  1. When going to a swinger’s retreat, make certain your partner isn’t packing a tiny, leather, Borat-style unikini to wear at the poolside fashion show.
  2. Being “in love” and being “in lust” are both very disparate and different things that deceptively, can seem like one and the same.
  3. Sex is messy. You’ll need a towel.
  4. When dating a married man, never cling to the statistic that 1% of men having an affair will leave their wives for their mistress. Because no matter what he says, for every King Edward VIII who abdicated the throne for the woman he loved, there are 25 Joey Buttafuccos and you’re dating number 24.
  5. Gentlemanly manners, a good upbringing and general social skills should never be underestimated.
  6. Tattoo this Maya Angelou quote on the inside of your eyelids. “When people show you who they are, believe them the first time.”
  7. Though it might seem obvious, always query a date about the circumstances in which he lives. If he resides in a storage facility with no indoor plumbing and a Porta-Potty he cleans himself, chances are you’ll be doing all the driving.
  8. Guys you meet on a fetish-dating site will never care if you haven’t dusted before they come over or the bed isn’t made. Don’t stress it. You’re mother will NOT be turning over in her grave (at least not because your house isn’t spotless).
  9. Cigarettes, role-playing your True Blood fantasy character on Twitter and bucketloads of Xanax are not a new lifestyle regime, they are a red flag.
  10. Contrary to what they may have you believe, the man with a 12-inch dick is not going to be the best sex you ever had. Two words: bruised cervix.
  11. Approximately, one out of every five men you sleep with will be as good in bed as they think, or say they are.
  12. It’s less important to a man what your body looks like than how you feel about it and what you do with it.
  13. This may seem obvious, but never divulge the web address of the erotica and porn blogs you run on the first couple of dates. It sets up unrealistic expectations.
  14. Only wax your vulva if it makes YOU feel better. If your lover suggests he’d like to see you with smooth genitalia, tell him you’d like him to go first.
  15. Going to bed alone at night isn’t nearly as lonely as going to bed next to someone you’ve grown apart from.
  16. When online dating, no matter how hard you work at making your profile accurate, smart, witty and pithy you will always get responses from 23 year old, trade students who wear their baseball caps sideways and think common texting abbreviations are what constitute an irresistible opening email.
  17. Sexual chemistry and passion are inextricably linked, however it can take many different forms, come in many different packages and isn’t always instantaneous. If he doesn’t light your fire after 3 dates, he never will.
  18. Social media is great place to learn how to flirt with abandon.
  19. It takes at least a week to properly seduce a woman.
  20. Never reschedule time with friends for a date. Your friends are your gold. The date can wait.

 

*Excerpt from my erotic memoir “A View From a Broad”

Mar 162014
 

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I’ve been a huge fan of sex educator, award-winning adult film actress and director, jessica drake ever since we briefly met at CatalystCon East last year. jessica was there to speak about Slut Shaming in Sex Positive Communities and Measure B (Check out what jessica spoke about at this year’s CatalystCon) and I was there to speak about body image and sexuality. We met at a blanket fort party given by the “Tom Hanks of Sex Education” Reid Mihalko, (at least that’s what I call him) I not only found her to be a generous and delightful person, but also a well-versed and highly regarded sex educator. 

When I got home from CatalystCon, I immediately made sure I got the full compliment of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex” DVD’s. I can imagine, someone looking to watch some instructional DVD’s on sex might be intimidated by a sex education series that stars and is the brain-child of a porn star. But, as I watched them, I saw the opposite of intimidating. I was struck by how accessible, accurate and informative they were.  At the time, my only note on the series was that there were no “everyday” people represented, the kind of people you see on the street or at the market, nor any people of size. I was quickly told that  a Guide to Wicked Sex aimed at people of size was being talked about … “Yay jessica! I thought.”

Last month, jessica completed filming on that  “Guide to Wicked Sex” for the plus size set and I can’t wait to watch it. I’m hoping that this signals a shift in the way plus-size sexuality is viewed by the adult industry.  Maybe I’ll get a chance to talk to jessica about this newest “plus-size” edition this Tuesday, March 18th from 12:00pm – 1:00pm PST as I will be a guest on her  Playboy Radio’s “In Bed with jessica drake.” 

So please tune in to Playboy Radio this Tuesday, 3/18 to hear me and jessica drake wax philosophic about body image, the best sex toys and sex blogging.

xo Elle

In the meantime, get a taste of “jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex.” Check out the trailer for her DVD on female masturbation:

 

Feb 252014
 
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Come join me in Ventura, CA this month for another Big, Beautiful Sex class!

This time I’ll be at the luscious KAMA SUTRA CLOSET on Main Street!

Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life?

Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, body-positive educator Lady Cheeky talks about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us back from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

Join us to:

* overcome fat-shaming

* be more compassionate and nicer to ourselves

* build sexual confidence feel confident and sexy

* find toys and positions that work best for your body

* learn about resources for ongoing support

Beverages and snacks provided by hosts

$10* (all proceeds go to the speaker)

*Attendees receive a $10 Kama Sutra Closet gift certificate at this workshop, good towards anything in the stores

*Attendees receive a free resource guide emailed to them after the class

*Attendees receive a free e-book of some big, beautiful erotica emailed to them after class

To reserve your space CLICK HERE!

Sunday, March 23, 2014 – 7:00pm
451 E. Main Street, #3, Ventura, CA 93001
888-801-8952

 

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Jan 202014
 
 January 20, 2014  No Responses »
Jan 172014
 
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aka Lady Cheeky  

I happen to live in Los Angeles where being over a size 8 is a felony. This can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the ‘norm’ a size 2. At those times I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14 and that a size 2 is more an aberration than the norm. However, it’s disappointing to note that at size 14, those average women are also considered “plus size”, labeling them in a category that, in this media ridden age, might send a woman’s ego to the back of the proverbial bus. This size stereotyping (especially in metropolitan cities like Los Angeles and New York City) can compound the list of reasons why single “plus size” woman are intimidated by dating and sex.

I have found that a lot of my single friends complain they can’t find a nice guy or even a good lover. When I suggest online dating, taking a class or going to events to meet a guy, I almost universally hear “maybe when I lose some weight” as the first excuse not to engage. It seems that no matter what we look like, women are always first to dissuade themselves from dating by knocking their perceived physical shortcomings. This kind of dysmorphic thinking doesn’t discriminate it seems, women of all shapes and sizes do it. Though being a “plus sized” woman has its challenges, dating shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, as a plus sized woman myself, I had to get past my own mental lambasting and take a leap of faith, even though at the time I still hated my body. It’s not easy to do but it IS possible.

When I made the decision to start dating again after my divorce, I had to examine my history with my body image. My whole teen and adult life I was lead to believe, through society, other women and some really immature boys, that my body was “less than” because it had more lumps, bumps and curves than the women portrayed in television, film, advertising, fashion magazines (including Seventeen magazine which can be horribly destructive to a young woman’s ego) and the like. Add to that the unconscious conditioning I received from my well-meaning mother and I was set up to fail.

I thought about all the women this kind of conditioning affects, as most women do not have “perfect” bodies and have even less perfect body images. It was interesting to me that regardless of size, all the women I knew loathed portions, if not all of their bodies. Not only does this affect quality of life in general, it substantially affects a healthy sex life. So what can we, as women, do to begin to accept the parts of us that we have heretofore shamed ourselves into hating?

Rebecca Jane Weinstein, Lawyer, Social Worker and Author, was told by her grandmother at nine years old that no man would ever love her because she was fat. So started Ms. Weinstein on her journey of figuring out her womanhood on her own. She relates her pilgrimage to satisfying sex in her book Fat Sex: The Naked Truth.  I asked Ms. Weinstein what her advice would be to plus-sized women who are trying to feel more confident sexually. Here is her answer:

“In interviewing the many large sized women I have about body image and sexuality, I have found a common thread.  When a woman feels sexy, she projects sexy, and men (or other women) find her sexy.  This seems almost simplistic, and it is, in a sense.  Perception is everything, particularly self-perception.  What is not simplistic is coming to that realization and then internalizing those feelings.  Women seem to find that place in themselves two ways.  First is personality.  Some of us are just lucky to have an inner core of confidence that has no clear genesis.  It just exists.  But even women who aren’t so lucky to be somehow born with the “I feel sexy” gene, seem to be able to learn to feel sexy.  The key is listening and believing when you are told you are attractive and that someone is attracted to you.  So often we are told such a thing, and every available evidence supports it (like there is a person lying next to us in a bed), and yet we don’t believe it.  We must overcome that disbelief.  It is not easy when all the societal messages tell us fat is not sexy.  But those messages come from disreputable sources – mostly people trying to sell us stuff.  They want us to feel badly about ourselves so we will buy diets and cosmetics and clothing and medical procedures.  Those people are liars.  The ones telling us the truth are sharing our beds and our hearts.  It is them we must believe.  And the truth is, even if there is no one giving those positive messages, telling ourselves works too.  When you feel sexy, you project sexy, and others find you sexy.  It’s not so important how you tumblr_mfma65kGMu1rrgft7o1_500get there, but that you get there.”

She’s right.

I had a lover once with whom I had some of the most erotic, connected, exciting and sensual sex of my life (some of our exploits are detailed on my erotica site www.smutforsmarties.com) and I was considered plus-sized at the time. Though I felt confident that he wanted me, I still didn’t feel comfortable in my body. Still, before our first tryst I panicked about how he would react to actually seeing me naked.  Would he still want me when he saw my overflowing stomach and flabby thighs? I was terrified.

When we first got together I was so ashamed of my physique that I kept my nightie on thinking “maybe he won’t notice my fat.” Though, in contrast to what the little devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear (“you’re disgusting,” “you should be ashamed to think he wants you”,) my lover couldn’t have been more effusive and complimentary about how seduced he was by my body. He continued to sincerely voice how attracted to me he was, yet I kept that nightie on for two months until I “believed” he was really yearning for me. What in the world did he have to do to get me to believe him? The answer is “nothing.” The issue was with me and my own narrative about my body. I used the shame and the humiliation I took on from others’ opinions about body size during my childhood and young womanhood to inform my ability to receive full pleasure in the moment. What a shame.

Later on in our relationship, figuring a bigger gal was his bag, I brought up the subject of a woman’s body type and asked him if he had always been attracted to plus-sized women. For me, his answer was revolutionary. My lover explained that body shape or size had nothing at all to do with his attraction to a woman. To him, a woman’s physical appeal (among other things like chemistry, personality, intelligence, etc.) was based on how sexual/sensual the woman was. He continued, that when a woman felt she was a sensual being and was confident about her sexuality, that it drove him wild. “I could be lying in bed with a supermodel but if she didn’t own her own sexuality I would be completely limp,” he said. Furthermore, the men he knew in his life felt the same way. He continued by saying that those same men were often frustrated with the fact that women in general don’t own their bodies and often let it get in the way of “letting go and enjoying the moment.”  Again, revolutionary to me. I thought back to when I was praying he wouldn’t notice my fat and thought “Wow. If I were just able to let go and take in that he was having sex with me because he WANTED to and was ATTRACTED to me, I would have enjoyed myself so much more.”  The change needed to start with me.  I needed to give myself a break. If it was true that he found me physically attractive then it was equally true that other men would as well. It was clear, I needed to start accepting my body as is, otherwise I would be living a lonely existence waiting for the day I would be happy with my body and that day will never come. This was evidenced by my smaller framed friends who had a litany of complaints about why men wouldn’t find them attractive. Again, the unrealistic body dysmorphia rears its ugly head no matter WHAT you look like.

Pamela Madsen, who wrote the book Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner says “If you work on embracing who you are – every single day just like a religious practice – things will change in your world.” I completely agree. No more negative self-talk ever.

So here’s the deal I’m not going to tell you to look in the mirror and say affirmations that you’re beautiful and sexy or tell yourself “I love you the way you are;” that’s too big a jump. What I AM telling you is that if you can’t muster up something nice to think about yourself, at least say something factual and neutral like,  “this is the way I look and that’s that.” It’s accurate and at the same time makes you accept yourself the way you are. Once you have that under your belt move on up to “I look pretty good today” etc, but wait until you believe it.  The point being, you are never to put yourself down. And if you can’t compliment yourself, then at least say something objective, something you can believe.

The next step would be to start to become more comfortable in your body sexually as it is right now. Whether you’re plus-sized or not, I highly recommend you read the aforementioned book  Fat Sex: The Naked Truth by Rebecca Jane Weinstein. She’s plus sized, smart and has the experiences to back up what she preaches. Her book will feed you stories of women (and men) who feel the same or worse about their bodies and will inspire you.  Reading the stories of how others achieved their positive body image and started enjoying sex will help you get used to the notion that there are other people out there (perhaps even larger than you are) that have found their inner sex gods and goddesses.

There are also a plethora of body image and sex positive websites at your fingertips. One of my favorites is Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ website www.dodsonandross.com that has a wonderful DVD called Bodysex Workshop. This DVD teaches women not only how to feel good about their sexuality but shows REAL women with REAL bodies “taking care of business” (if you know what I mean.)  Other validating websites to check out: I Feel Myself http://www.Ifeelmyself.com which feature women from all over the world masturbating to orgasm. It’s liberating watching women of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds enjoying the sexual pleasure that is their right. Pamela Madsen’s blog Being Shamelesswww.beingshameless.com offers Pamela’s words of wisdom on the spiritually based “sacred sexuality movement” and body image.

tumblr_m5asknvCUc1qeuufeo1_500If you are feeling frisky, even the porn world has something to offer. The multitude of amateur porn online also affords us the opportunity to watch women who look like us engaging in hot sex.  There are even porn sites dedicated to plus sized nude models like (my favorite) London Andrews and very popular plus sized porn star Kelly Shibari. There’s also “feminist porn” (also known as women’s porn or couples porn) brought to us by pioneers in the field like Candida RoyalleErika Lust and Tristan Taormino. This type of porn is made by women for women (and men) who enjoy a more sensual story and a focus on the woman’s pleasure as well as the man’s. Checking out this kind of porn might make you feel more a part of “the club” than traditional porn where the focus is mainly on the man’s gratification while they screw thin women with fake boobs (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that).

Poor body image doesn’t doesn’t have to be debilitating. Your sexuality is part of who you are as a woman and human being and the plus sized woman should take steps to start empowering herself as an erotic, sexual being every woman should, really. If we can divorce our self-loathing (while we work on it, of course) from our sensual selves, then dating or sexual expression doesn’t have to be tied into body image and as a result, we can work on accepting ourselves while at the same time experiencing sexual pleasure.

Since I have accepted my body “as is,” not only have I had no problem finding men that find my me and my body sexy but I’ve been allowing myself to have some of the best sex of my life. I have come to understand and believe that sexual pleasure is not just meant for the “beautiful” and the “hard-bodied,” it’s a natural enjoyment that is your right as a human being. So take back that right. Ignore the messages from people, agencies and corporations trying to make you feel “less than” and take back control of what is inherently yours.

Originally published on www.EvolvedWorld.com, Sept. 2012

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FANTASTIC FOR ANYONE WITH 'REACH' ISSUES! The Sport Silicone G-Spot Dildo is the ideal medium sized toy. Sleek with a head that is just enough, without being too much. The extra length allows you more stroke. Made of Tantus' 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone.

FANTASTIC FOR ANYONE WITH ‘REACH’ ISSUES!
The Sport Silicone G-Spot Dildo is the ideal medium sized toy. Sleek with a head that is just enough, without being too much. The extra length allows you more stroke. Made of Tantus’ 100% Ultra-Premium Silicone.

Jan 092014
 

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We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

– The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

– The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Dec 212013
 

love_letter_writtingLooking through my old emails, I came upon love letters sent between me and a long distance lover years ago.  This lover was the man who spurred the catalyst that has become my life now and the man who helped me say good-bye to a life lived in black and white and fully express my sexuality in living color.  I remembered, we sent baleful yearnings, salacious, lustful requests and descriptions of what effect our frantic attraction would cause in our everyday lives.  Back and forth we’d write, trying to satisfy the penetrating ache and unyielding  incompleteness we both felt by not being able to satisfy  (or even see) the other. Though it’s quite clear that our keyed-up lust bred bad writing, I can attest, the feelings and yearning were quite serious and real. These letters are bursting with the impatience, passion and heady, overwrought longing of two people experiencing passion for the first time … at 40.

 (TRIGGER WARNING)

10/19/09

Dear E:

Our conversation ended so abruptly, it was as if I had just awoke from a pleasant dream to the harsh reality of another day.  During the last few minutes of our time together, I was merely just sitting there enjoying listening to your voice and our banter.  It’s as if we were two boxers sparring in a ring except our gloved hands were replaced by quips and words that landed with love, passion, and torment.

I was left psychologically spirited and sexually charged – not to the point of no return, but I felt that if I could muster an orgasm in your honor, I might be able to sleep soundly with you in my dreams.  I began by reviewing transcripts of previous IM sessions, but was quickly caught up in the task of trying to read for other meanings and inflection.  Pausing to cease that effort, I tried to get more into the sexuality of it, but was left semi-erect and no clear path to success.

I realized the burr in my saddle may have been my contemplation of your request for a picture of my hands.  I Googled “hands” for some time trying to find a likeness yet without my scars, veins and weathered skin.  Finally, my conscience got the better of me. “She gave me a pass to not partake in this folly.  Why throw something out there that is not you?”

Finally, I took a photo of my hand.  Using the chairside table and lamp, I aligned and lighted so it would be just so.  First I considered the palm side but demurred with the crazy thought that somehow you could determine more from me by reading my palm.  It would have included the all too evident calluses from the day’s labor restoring the house.  Then to the back, I rolled my E.T.-like digits under, thereby not only covering my rugose fingertips, but also hiding signs of my oral fixation … nails bitten down to the quick.

Satisfied with the results, I sent it to you without further contemplation. I knew once it was sent, I could not take it back and only have greater regret depending on your feedback (a side note, your feedback was gracious and worthy of my consternation).

It was now approaching midnight and my body yearned for release.  I spent some time catching up on my reader, madly scanning for a 

picture or something to provide the needed spark.  At this point, I actually adjusted my laptop from my lap to the footrest in front of me.  In this position, without any underwear, I was free to grasp, grope and cajole arousal from my member.  At one point, the arousal built to a high enough level, I felt it necessary to push my pants down to my ankles, thereby allowing for unfettered access.  My tip exuded a small amount of pre-cum yet not enough to satisfactorily lube.  It’s as if my body was yelling, “This isn’t what we’ve been getting! Who are you trying to fool?”  I contemplated reaching for a bottle of lube to assist, but that seemed like almost too much work to complete.

In a hasty last attempt, I began searching for stories.  Stories describing acts that we’ve yet to achieve with words as inspiring as those that we’ve streamed.  There was enough inspiration to continue, but not enough to fully satisfy my needs.  Finally, just before midnight I gave up.

Throughout the evening, I’d incessantly, almost compulsively switched to Twitter, AIM and Gtalk, hoping your RL (sic: real life) would allow for respite and you would be online.  I envisioned myself as an intruder, hiding in the shadows waiting for you to return to your room.  I knew if you did, I’d spring upon you like a cougar on a quail. Unsuspecting you’d be mindless as I assaulted your senses.  You’d be powerless as I grabbed you with strong hands and pushed you over the back of the chair.  You’d be paralyzed as I’d yank the nightgown from your startled body, and there before me, your alabaster skin would provide a feast for my weary eyes.

secretaryMy shoes would kick your legs wider, matching the feet of the chair.  Only your thong would seemingly provide protection from my lecherous eyes. Your answer wouldn’t matter, for your fate had been prejudged.  Shortly after your retort, my right hand would smack flatly against your ass.  Your head would involuntarily jerk up only to realize my left hand in your hair still held you in a contorted posture.  “Do you know how much I longed for you to return?”lecherous eyes.  You’d feel my body slide by, fearful of my next action.  Then suddenly I’d grab your auburn locks and pull your head back, as if correcting a spirited filly.  A slight gasp would come from your mouth, not expecting the onslaught.  “Why did you keep me waiting so long?” I’d sneeringly whisper in your ear.

Perhaps realizing no words were appropriate, no sound would come from your lips.  My hand would gently descend and stroke at the reddening image of my palm.  Barely touching your cheek, it’d gently trace the contrasting lines of broken blood vessels and unfettered skin.  Only, when you’d emit that sigh, that peaceful accepting sigh, my rage would rise again.

“Are you enjoying this my Elle?” I’d scowl. While my left hand would jerk your head again, my right would push down my pants.  There, the product of my hours of waiting would spring forth waiting to finish the attack.  You’d remain glancing, unknowing the certainty of your situation.

My right hand would return to your rear and trace the line of your thong from back to front.  There it would find purchase and frantically push it aside.  Grabbing your hip, my erection would suddenly arise from between your legs shocking your senses and causing your head to flinch against the bonds of your hair yet again.  “I know you’ll enjoy this,” I’d promise.

Suddenly, with nary a warning I’d push my throbbing member deep inside you.  The wetness of your loins contradicts the plea of your surprise, as I’d slam my entire length deep inside.  And at my hilt, I’d pause.  My hips would roll and my right hand would push back against your mons, hoping to feel myself buried deep inside.  I’d adjust some more and probe some more, again hoping to feel the outline of my member buried deep within.

While remaining deep inside, my hand would slide down across your clit.  Gently reminding you of a presence outside your cunt.  Then two fingers would trace the slippery, swollen lips distended by my insertion.  Gathering juice as if a bee gathering pollen.  That same hand, those same fingers would then find your mouth and forcibly enter urging to be cleaned.

And upon the sound of a whimper, I’d awaken again realizing my need to gain control of your mind and body yet again.  My right and left hands would join together on your shoulder blades pushing you further over the spine of our makeshift saddle.  I’d push strongly against the center of your back while my hardened cock would remain deeply buried. Only satisfied when the sweat began to roll up your back, would my devastating attack begin.

And in an animalistic fever, my passion would erupt.  My guttural sounds accompanied by your moans and the sounds of our sexes sliding together.  The moisture from our efforts would drip from our bodies while the juices of our groins would wick up your thong.  At times my force would so overcome our pose that the chair would slide forward causing us to adjust yet again.

Our passion was building, our bodies afire.  I would sense that we’d be approaching the peak before orgasm momentarily.  And yet I’d wanted to render one final punitory act.  My hips would slide back – my dick just outside your dripping slit.  I’d pause just long enough to make you hesitate, make you yearn, and make you turn your head in search of fulfillment.  Only there you’d see a blur.

You’d momentarily realize it was the indistinguishable sight of my left hand racing to find your left ass cheek again.  And with a loud smack you’d cry.  Then, from pleasure to pain in a mere fraction of a second, your mind would become overwhelmed with the contrast and try to comprehend the significance.  “You must always remain available,” I’d deeply scowl.

And then, before you could adjust, searing fire now smoldering in each cheek, I’d pile into you again, momentarily slamming the air from your body as your heaving chest crashed into the chair.  My hands would be pawing at your hips attempting to maintain the tempo.  Our bodies would take over, the passion overwhelming.

And out of the corner of my eye, I’d notice the clock.  12:23am.

There, in the haze of a sex depraved fantasy, you’d slipped into the realm of AIM.  In a flash of a moment, you’d come and you’d gone.  Not even a whisper.  Not even a pause. Never even realizing who waited in the shadows.

Yours,

MG

 

Dear M,

I’ve just read your story for the third time tonight and am still left breathless and stimulated beyond any hope of sensible relief.  The fact that a very similar fantasy has played through my mind a 1000 times before without having the courage to speak it aloud was enticing enough … but to read on .. oh my …

The first time I read your story in full was in the restroom of an event at a posh hotel this evening at approximately 8:00pm. These restrooms had  individual shuttered stalls that were more like individual closets in a East Hampton estate than a hotel lavatory.  I snuck in to read my piece from my lover and it did not disappoint. When I noticed the fresh wet feeling between my thighs, I knew I was sunk.  I had already decided to take off my skirt, hang it on the hook and place my phone in my left hand … my right began to massage the inner folds of my slit. Already steaming and drenched, my pussy was ready as it had been all day … to get fucked again … to cum again to your delicious description of how you would have your way with me.

When you described your shoes kicking my feet wider apart, I felt heady as I began to stroke my pussy even faster and deeper, grazing my clit every now and again to let it know that I would be back to sate her. Your hand slapping my ass, other hand grasping my hair as I sighed to release the feeling of the deep relief your presence promised me. Scowling “Are you enjoying this, Elle?” had me panting even harder in that tiny space imagining your hot, moist breath behind my ear as you whispered it while working over my cunt in a furious fever for satisfaction. I could feel my face contorting,  getting hot … I could hear my inner voice struggling and begging for me to make myself cum now.  But the story wasn’t over and I knew that you would want it saved until the last possible moment.

The moment you slammed your cock into into me, resting it in my deepest crevice, feeling for an outline of your member, I could barely stand it.  Imagining, your steaming body against mine – feeling your skin connect with my back and knowing you were inside me was more than I could take. I shook and could feel the flutter of my orgasm coming with my fingers nowhere near my clit.  I literally had to bang my head against the stall wall (not too hard, but enough to smart) to snap me out of it and put me on track for the rest of the story.

But then you shoved your fingers bathed in my cum into my mouth and it was nearly over. My arousal had begun again and at full force. Thankfully, what came next would be my relief and and my refuge.  Reading how you were fucking me hard and riding me like and animal,  I rubbed and rubbed – my clit getting more aroused and engorged …. faster and faster.  Both our bodies as one and rasping with moans from deep within. Feeling my body limp over the chair, your hands on my hips guiding your cock deeper within me and then out in just enough time for another ass slap to drive me over the edge. Faster, faster – harder! Rub harder!   I’m almost there, my back against the wall, my head tilted to the left, my right hand moving so fast it’s almost shaking my clit free from my pussy. I had to make myself cum. As you piled into me again slamming the air from my body, I came – hard,  just as I was imagining your hands keeping time with my hips thrusting your cock deep into my cunt.

There, in the luxury hotel bathroom stall the world paused for a moment to focus itself on me. Everything slowed … sound, sight all turned down one notch to the rhythm of my heart and throbbing pussy.  I closed my eyes and licked my lips to savor one last second before I had to return to my obligation. When I opened the stall, I knew I would have to join the real world again and leave you … my torturous, lovely, vigorous and sexy lover behind.

I await your return from the caverns of wherever you are, but hurry and come back to me …

xo LC

Dec 012013
 
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