Jan 172014
 
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Maggie Mayhem

This list and it’s original title “50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex” originally appeared on www.MissMaggieMayhem.com on November 8, 2013.  If you don’t know who Maggie Mayhem is, you should – in my opinion she is one of the great minds of the sex-positive movement. I loved this list so much I wanted to share it with you. Read them.  Print them. Memorize them. Share them with everyone you know and visit her site and her Tumblr often.  So, with permission from Miss Mayhem here is a re-print of “50 Things I’ve been Meaning to Say About Sex. by Maggie Mayhem”   xo LC

 

 

 

  1. There is no easy set of steps for giving or receiving pleasure.
  2. There is no finish line.
  3. Your triumphs and your traumas will impact your sexuality.
  4. Sex itself can be a source of triumph and trauma.
  5. Hydration really does make a difference.
  6. There will be plot twists.
  7. Your sexual preferences may not match your needs or opportunities for pleasure.
  8. Sometimes the most skillful application of touch won’t do what a single caress or glance from someone you are centered upon can do.
  9. It’s more than active or passive. You can be actively-passive and passively-active in sex.
  10. You may summon something you weren’t prepared to receive.
  11. You will experience cognitive dissonance.
  12. You are more beautiful than you know.
  13. You are not entitled to your partner’s sexual backstory. It’s their choice to share.
  14. It’s fucked up to make someone feel bad about their body and how it works.
  15. Take time to breathe.
  16. Sometimes you will be terrified.
  17. Humans have sex for reasons that include but are not limited to pleasure or procreation.
  18. Be prepared for fluids.
  19. You will shed many sexual skins over your lifetime.
  20. Blood sugar really makes a difference.
  21. Using sex as a weapon is when you unilaterally commandeer someone’s body for your use, not when you are soliciting sexual attraction.
  22. Feeling fascinated or attracted to someone does not entitle you to their time and attention.
  23. Things may not meet expectations.
  24. Orgasms are just one piece.
  25. No one else is an authority on your sexuality.
  26. Sometimes you will be confused.
  27. Sometimes you will find ecstasy in the orgiastic, sometimes in the ascetic.
  28. The power of sex to hurt and to heal demands our respect.
  29. Sex is more than what we will ever say about it.
  30. There is no default state of sexual consciousness.
  31. You will find times when words will utterly fail you.
  32. What your body does may not be congruous with your desire.
  33. Context is key.
  34. Sex can be both a source of empowerment and dis-empowerment.
  35. The experience of another may offer wisdom or perspective but it might not be applicable to your life.
  36. An orgasm does not always mean pleasure.
  37. You may run into people who treat you as an inferior version of their projection of you.
  38. There are many different motivations to have sex.
  39. Implemental sex is neither greater nor lesser than non-implemental sex.
  40. The hottest thing in the world might not turn you on anymore.
  41. The value placed upon any given sex act or object is relational rather than intrinsic.
  42. Random causes should not be confused with essential facts.
  43. Your props of sexual summoning will change over time.
  44. Sexual union on non-physical planes exists.
  45. No element of sex is compulsory.
  46. Consciously changing your breathing patterns will change your experience of sex.
  47. Sex can be an instrument of knowing.
  48. Sexual definitions will fail to contain their referents.
  49. There’s really no such thing as an expert on sex.
  50. I don’t endorse everything I’ve said or thought about sex, not even this list.

 

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Dec 212013
 
LCBestToys2013

I know I’m a lucky woman. Sex toy and lube companies will often send me samples of their products to try and sometimes review. I don’t consider myself a “sex toy reviewer” per se, but I do have opinions and hopefully a sensitivity to what others may or may not like about a toy. I thoroughly test the toys  multiple times, perhaps compare notes with other sex bloggers and sex educators and give it a lot of thought.   Even if something doesn’t work for me, I can usually see how it might work for someone else. So, unless a product is so awful it actually offends me, I will usually just point out why it didn’t work for my particular body, areas of improvement and sometimes suggestions that (IMHO) I think might make the product better. That being said …

I tried a LOT of toys, had a LOT of opinions and had a LOT of orgasms and here is the reason why …

Please to enjoy, in no particular order, a list of my most beloved products of the year.

The Lovelife Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator by OhMiBod- When I pre-viewed OhMiBod’s Lovelife line last July,I giggled like a schoolgirl. Lovelife was beautiful, all pink and white and perfect like gum, I felt like I did when I was 7 years old and saw the new Barbie Dreamhouse. But when I took a gander at the Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator, I literally had to squelch back an audible chirp of excitement. Looking like a cross between a cartoon sword and … well, a sex toy, it was certainly unusual. When I was told it’s an insertable with an anal AND clitoral vibrator attached … AND each perfect vibrating vector point had it’s OWN motor (that’s THREE FREAKIN’ MOTORS, FOLKS!), I had to clutch my pearls and ask for a glass of water. Now it’s December, I’ve had my Adventure for two weeks and it’s my new boyfriend. Every woman is different but for me, the Adventure gave me a cavalcade of fantastic orgasms. Just think about it … it’s made to stimulate your vagina, anus and clit … all at the same time … with 3 powerful motors!  From the strength, to the versatility to the high-end and adorable packaging, OhMiBod took my pleasure seriously. At a price point in between affordable and luxury,  it’s anincredible value and well worth the money. In conclusion … ech, I shouldn’t have to say anything else. You all should be ordering this right now.  Go on!  Get!   The Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator  $99.00

Droplet_necklace

Droplet Necklace

 

 Crave Droplet Necklace- More jewelry than sex toy, this elegant lariat necklace shows you have style with a mischievous side. The 43′ stainless steel chain (nickel free) is attached to a steel “droplet” that hangs from each end. Each droplet hides a a tiny, subtle vibrator that can be turned on by twisting the bottom cap. It’s not strong enough for much more than nipple stimulation, but who cares? You’re wearing a vibrator around your neck and you look good doing it.  I have one in “rose gold”  but I’m dying for it in “silver” (hint, hint)  Crave Droplet Necklace $109  

photo copy 2

Lucky Bloke Condom Sampler

Lucky Bloke Condom & Lube Samplers -Let’s face it, if you ask them, most guys don’t like wearing condoms, the usual reason stated is they say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable as sex without. Usually the culprit is that that they’re wearing the wrong condom for their penis. Condoms need to be tried and tested to see which brand and size works best for the penis owner. Once the right condom is found it’s like discovering a whole new world. Lucky Bloke sells individual condom and lube sampler packs. You can buy a variety of your own choosing or one of the packs they curate. Either way, it turns grabbing a pack of condoms from the drugstore into a whole new discovery process. I’m a huge fan of Lucky Bloke and it’s not just because they sell my “Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit. I love Lucky Bloke because it makes trying different condoms easy, cost effective and painless.Their lube sampler packs work on the same premise. That’s how I discovered my favorite lube, Please Cream (see above), without having to get a big bottle of it first. I could go on and on … just check it out for yourself.    Condom & Lube Samplers by Lucky Bloke  $6.99 and up

Stronic DREI

Stronic DREI

The Stronic DREI by Fun FactoryFun Factory is clear; Don’t call this toy a vibrator. It’s not, it’s a PULSATOR. Normally, this type of qualification would annoy me, except they are 100% right. This is nothing like a vibrator. This pulsating toy is the next best thing to having a real live penis, attached to a real live person, fucking you in a real live way. It took me a few tries to warm up to the DREI, but once I did, I could see why my colleagues had been singing the praises of the whole pulsating, thrusting, waterproof and rechargeable line of insertables from Fun Factory. Drei’s powerful motor rumbles and plunges back and forth, while its smooth ridges massage and stimulate whichever orifice suits your fancy. The best part? You can use it hands-free. You’re welcome. Fun Factory Stronic Drei $199 

wedge-featured3

The Liberator Wedge

Liberator Wedge - Three’s almost no position you can’t make a little better in the bedroom with this simple, adaptable, high-density,foam wedge.  Use it to lift up your partner’s hips for better oral access or for a different approach to missionary. Lay yourself or your partner over the wider edge of the wedge for easier doggie-style or anal angles. You’ll love the freedom it gives you and your partner. The great thing about Liberator, is that they make theirwedges and ramps in two sizes; a standard size 24″ length and a plus size 30′ length. Liberator is aptly named if only for the this thoughtful touch, which is not only extremely helpful to the larger user but also those who have mobility issues. Now that I own one, I can’t imagine not having it easily accessible for all the ways (above) I use it. If you like, you can upgrade later to the larger Ramp that Liberator offers and still use your wedge in conjunction with it for even more positions. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love their favorite Liberator. Check out their website to see the varying shapes and sizes to choose from and don’t forget to watch the ultra erotic and steamy instructional videos demonstrated by sex majick rockstar and sexual wellness expert Jaiya. You won’t be able to tear yourself away.  The Wedge by Liberator $90.00

 

duke-group-thumb

Tantus “Duke” dildo

Echo and Duke Dildos by Tantus - Ok, I listed two, so sue me. In my opinion, Tantus makes the best dildos around. Not only are the shapes well-designed and delicious, their commitment to manufacturing a pristine, simple and body-safe product makes me feel secure about what I’m putting inside me. The Echo is a nice size member with ridges, giving the user a nice massage on the vagina’s inner walls. The stout and thicker Duke, is a silkier smooth ride for size queens. Both have a removable vibrating bullet that slips in from the bottom which gives it a nice … uh … resonance. :)  but here’s a tip; replace the bullet that comes with it and substitute the We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe (see above) which is way stronger and you’ll feel the difference.  Tantus Echo $67.99 & Duke $69.99  

A01616

Pink Crystal Butt Plug

Crystal Delights Pink Crystal Glass Butt Plug- Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter, “God, I love the feel of glass in my ass.” But ever since I tried Crystal Delights glass toys Im a convert. Glass is a whole other animal when it comes to intimate sensation. It’s cool and smooth and slips in soooo easily (with your favorite lube). The weight, temperature and slickness of each plug is something that really has to be experienced. It doesn’t hurt that it’s beautiful to look at, with it’s single pink crystal on the flared base to add a little sparkle to your butt (Sparklebutt!). Crystal Delights does glass well and they’re always coming up with cool ways to bedeck your bottom;  like faux bunny and pony tails, corkscrew shaped dildos and plugs and even a pink glass plug with a rhinestone Hello Kitty on the end, Crystal Delights certainly makes some of the most unique sex toys out there.  Everyone who enjoys a little anal play should own one of these beauties, in fact you might love them so much you’ll start a collection … like me. Crystal Delight Pink Crystal Butt Plug  $69.99 

Unknown-2

Hello Touch by Jimmyjane

Hello Touch Vibrator by Jimmyjane - Two tiny (but strong) vibrators that attach to two fingers, connected to super thin wires  and anchored to a wristband. Because the vibration is attached to fingers, it makes “vibrator”masturbation more intimate and sensual by yourself or with a partner. I frequently give my bedmate a hand job with this on, and he likes to explore me with the Hello Touch in away he’s not been able to before. Um. Wow. great for sensation play, internal or external stimulation, there’s simply so many ways you could use this gem. Done without care, the Hello Touch had the potential to be a waste of money but instead is a wonderful addition to my favorites collection. Thank goodness Jimmyjane got a really difficult to pull off product right. I simply love it. The Hello Touch makes me think if they can pull this off … maybe they could design a cunnilingus simulator that actually feels like cunnilingus? How about it Jimmyjane?  Jimmyjane Hello Touch $65.00 

Unknown-1

We-Vibe Tango

We-Vibe Tango - This dynamo has what I like to call the four “S’s,” small, slim, simple and STRONG which is exactly what you want in aclitoral vibe. The size of a Chapstick, The Tango is a rechargeable, waterproof little bullet that packs a punch for when you just really need to get off … like RIGHT NOW. I use it alone and with other toys (see Tantus Echo) to get a more satisfying ride. This is the only bullet you will ever need, in fact I threw away all my others. In fact, if this thing could do my taxes and cook, I would never leave the house. We-Vibe Tango  $79.99 

 

22FL12-3

Please Cream

Please Cream Lube by Pleasure Works - My good friend sex educator and sex toy superhero,JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead turned me on to Please Cream, now my favorite lube on the planet.  I don’t know how Pleasure Works did this, but they managed to make a water-based, body-safe, glycerin free lube, feel like and last like a hybrid lube (water-based with some silicone added). Please Cream was thick enough not run anywhere I didn’t want it to when applying and it proved to be more long-lasting than any other water-based lube I’ve tried. It even has a pleasant taste! As a Please cream Devotee, When I’m in San Francisco I buy a bunch of the 3 ounce bottles that they don’t sell online at Good Vibes because they fit so nicely in my nightstand and carry-on when I travel. Pleasure Works also make a silicone and a water-based gel too and I’m sure they’re great. I don’t know because I haven’t had any reason to try them, Please Cream is just “it” for me.   Please Cream by Pleasure Works $16.00 for 8 oz.bottle 

 

images

We-Vibe 4

We-Vibe 4 Couples Vibrator - The We Vibe 3 was great and the We-Vibe 4 is even better. We-Vibe has refined it’s fourth reprise of it’s famed couples vibe by making it, well … much more “couples friendly.” The We-Vibe 4 is slimmer and made with a silicone that doesn’t become a lint magnet (which bothered me in the last iteration). They’ve upgraded the remote and streamlined it so it fits better and more comfortably in your vagina and labia. If you are having penis – vagina sex it will feel amazing on his shaft. If you are scissoring, vulva to vulva then you both win too! I like to add it to oral sex sometimes and place it at the base of his penis, you can even use it by yourself or with a dildo. Basically, the We-Vibe 4 is many toys in one, comes in a nice case, feels nice, it’s powerful and it does what it says it does. So when does it get bad?  We-Vibe 4  $159.99

 

aneros_evi_500

EVI by Aneros

EVI by Aneros - I loathe exercise of any kind … even kegel exercise, but I do it anyway because it’s good for me. So, when something comes along that makes exerting myself painless and easy, I’m in.  The EVI does just that for my PC muscles (Kegels). Aneros has been making impeccable products for men all these years, so it comes as no surprise that their first product for women is just as beautifully made. In the past I’ve described the EVI as “a barbell for your lady-bits” (yes, I referred to my vagina as “lady-bits” – don’t hate) and that’s not far off the mark. A complete departure from Ben Wa or other weighted kegel balls, the main body of EVI seems to fit perfectly into my vaginal canal, while the outside flange rests nicely on my vulva (a feeling that’s not altogether unpleasant). I’ve cleaned the house and gone shopping with it in. Though, I can’t say that will be true for every woman, I can say it works nicely for me. Women of size take note, it’s the only kegel exerciser that I can see working for ample-sized women who find it difficult to insert kegel balls.   EVI by Aneros $59.99 

 

Unknown

Sex Butter

Sex Butter  - I love this product for many reasons not the least of which is it smells yummy … peppermint with a slight hint of cocoa. Originally invented for women of a certain age who experience vaginal dryness this proprietary mix of beneficial and natural oils and butters was huge hit when it originally hit the shelves.  Now the all natural Sex Butter is in its second iteration, which has made it fluffier and even more yummy smelling. Sex Butter is perfect for committed couples that enjoy sex WITHOUT a condom (oil breaks down latex and other materials used in condoms/dams. Do not use oil based lube with a condom.)  Sex Butter is a fave because it lasts for-ever and has multiple uses. I like to massage it on my vulva every few days as a way to keep my luscious lips soft. It’s fantastic for dry skin repair, lingam/yoni massage, lip balm and to tame flyaway hairs. How many lubes can you say that about? Oh yeah, did I mention it smells yummy? Sex Butter $39.95

 © Copyright 2014 Smut For Smarties/Lady Cheeky All rights Reserved. Written For: Smut For Smarties 

 

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Dec 212013
 
LCBestToys2013

I know I’m a lucky woman. Sex toy and lube companies will often send me samples of their products to try and sometimes review. I don’t consider myself a “sex toy reviewer” per se, but I do have opinions and hopefully a sensitivity to what others may or may not like about a toy. I thoroughly test the toys  multiple times, perhaps compare notes with other sex bloggers and sex educators and give it a lot of thought.   Even if something doesn’t work for me, I can usually see how it might work for someone else. So, unless a product is so awful it actually offends me, I will usually just point out why it didn’t work for my particular body, areas of improvement and sometimes suggestions that (IMHO) I think might make the product better. That being said …

I tried a LOT of toys, had a LOT of opinions and had a LOT of orgasms and here is the reason why …

Please to enjoy, in no particular order, a list of my most beloved products of the year.

The Lovelife Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator by OhMiBod- When I pre-viewed OhMiBod’s Lovelife line last July,I giggled like a schoolgirl. Lovelife was beautiful, all pink and white and perfect like gum, I felt like I did when I was 7 years old and saw the new Barbie Dreamhouse. But when I took a gander at the Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator, I literally had to squelch back an audible chirp of excitement. Looking like a cross between a cartoon sword and … well, a sex toy, it was certainly unusual. When I was told it’s an insertable with an anal AND clitoral vibrator attached … AND each perfect vibrating vector point had it’s OWN motor (that’s THREE FREAKIN’ MOTORS, FOLKS!), I had to clutch my pearls and ask for a glass of water. Now it’s December, I’ve had my Adventure for two weeks and it’s my new boyfriend. Every woman is different but for me, the Adventure gave me a cavalcade of fantastic orgasms. Just think about it … it’s made to stimulate your vagina, anus and clit … all at the same time … with 3 powerful motors!  From the strength, to the versatility to the high-end and adorable packaging, OhMiBod took my pleasure seriously. At a price point in between affordable and luxury,  it’s anincredible value and well worth the money. In conclusion … ech, I shouldn’t have to say anything else. You all should be ordering this right now.  Go on!  Get!   The Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator  $99.00

Droplet_necklace

Droplet Necklace

 

 Crave Droplet Necklace- More jewelry than sex toy, this elegant lariat necklace shows you have style with a mischievous side. The 43′ stainless steel chain (nickel free) is attached to a steel “droplet” that hangs from each end. Each droplet hides a a tiny, subtle vibrator that can be turned on by twisting the bottom cap. It’s not strong enough for much more than nipple stimulation, but who cares? You’re wearing a vibrator around your neck and you look good doing it.  I have one in “rose gold”  but I’m dying for it in “silver” (hint, hint)  Crave Droplet Necklace $109  

photo copy 2

Lucky Bloke Condom Sampler

Lucky Bloke Condom & Lube Samplers -Let’s face it, if you ask them, most guys don’t like wearing condoms, the usual reason stated is they say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable as sex without. Usually the culprit is that that they’re wearing the wrong condom for their penis. Condoms need to be tried and tested to see which brand and size works best for the penis owner. Once the right condom is found it’s like discovering a whole new world. Lucky Bloke sells individual condom and lube sampler packs. You can buy a variety of your own choosing or one of the packs they curate. Either way, it turns grabbing a pack of condoms from the drugstore into a whole new discovery process. I’m a huge fan of Lucky Bloke and it’s not just because they sell my “Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit. I love Lucky Bloke because it makes trying different condoms easy, cost effective and painless.Their lube sampler packs work on the same premise. That’s how I discovered my favorite lube, Please Cream (see above), without having to get a big bottle of it first. I could go on and on … just check it out for yourself.    Condom & Lube Samplers by Lucky Bloke  $6.99 and up

Stronic DREI

Stronic DREI

The Stronic DREI by Fun FactoryFun Factory is clear; Don’t call this toy a vibrator. It’s not, it’s a PULSATOR. Normally, this type of qualification would annoy me, except they are 100% right. This is nothing like a vibrator. This pulsating toy is the next best thing to having a real live penis, attached to a real live person, fucking you in a real live way. It took me a few tries to warm up to the DREI, but once I did, I could see why my colleagues had been singing the praises of the whole pulsating, thrusting, waterproof and rechargeable line of insertables from Fun Factory. Drei’s powerful motor rumbles and plunges back and forth, while its smooth ridges massage and stimulate whichever orifice suits your fancy. The best part? You can use it hands-free. You’re welcome. Fun Factory Stronic Drei $199 

wedge-featured3

The Liberator Wedge

Liberator Wedge - Three’s almost no position you can’t make a little better in the bedroom with this simple, adaptable, high-density,foam wedge.  Use it to lift up your partner’s hips for better oral access or for a different approach to missionary. Lay yourself or your partner over the wider edge of the wedge for easier doggie-style or anal angles. You’ll love the freedom it gives you and your partner. The great thing about Liberator, is that they make theirwedges and ramps in two sizes; a standard size 24″ length and a plus size 30′ length. Liberator is aptly named if only for the this thoughtful touch, which is not only extremely helpful to the larger user but also those who have mobility issues. Now that I own one, I can’t imagine not having it easily accessible for all the ways (above) I use it. If you like, you can upgrade later to the larger Ramp that Liberator offers and still use your wedge in conjunction with it for even more positions. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love their favorite Liberator. Check out their website to see the varying shapes and sizes to choose from and don’t forget to watch the ultra erotic and steamy instructional videos demonstrated by sex majick rockstar and sexual wellness expert Jaiya. You won’t be able to tear yourself away.  The Wedge by Liberator $90.00

 

duke-group-thumb

Tantus “Duke” dildo

Echo and Duke Dildos by Tantus - Ok, I listed two, so sue me. In my opinion, Tantus makes the best dildos around. Not only are the shapes well-designed and delicious, their commitment to manufacturing a pristine, simple and body-safe product makes me feel secure about what I’m putting inside me. The Echo is a nice size member with ridges, giving the user a nice massage on the vagina’s inner walls. The stout and thicker Duke, is a silkier smooth ride for size queens. Both have a removable vibrating bullet that slips in from the bottom which gives it a nice … uh … resonance. :)  but here’s a tip; replace the bullet that comes with it and substitute the We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe (see above) which is way stronger and you’ll feel the difference.  Tantus Echo $67.99 & Duke $69.99  

A01616

Pink Crystal Butt Plug

Crystal Delights Pink Crystal Glass Butt Plug- Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter, “God, I love the feel of glass in my ass.” But ever since I tried Crystal Delights glass toys Im a convert. Glass is a whole other animal when it comes to intimate sensation. It’s cool and smooth and slips in soooo easily (with your favorite lube). The weight, temperature and slickness of each plug is something that really has to be experienced. It doesn’t hurt that it’s beautiful to look at, with it’s single pink crystal on the flared base to add a little sparkle to your butt (Sparklebutt!). Crystal Delights does glass well and they’re always coming up with cool ways to bedeck your bottom;  like faux bunny and pony tails, corkscrew shaped dildos and plugs and even a pink glass plug with a rhinestone Hello Kitty on the end, Crystal Delights certainly makes some of the most unique sex toys out there.  Everyone who enjoys a little anal play should own one of these beauties, in fact you might love them so much you’ll start a collection … like me. Crystal Delight Pink Crystal Butt Plug  $69.99 

Unknown-2

Hello Touch by Jimmyjane

Hello Touch Vibrator by Jimmyjane - Two tiny (but strong) vibrators that attach to two fingers, connected to super thin wires  and anchored to a wristband. Because the vibration is attached to fingers, it makes “vibrator”masturbation more intimate and sensual by yourself or with a partner. I frequently give my bedmate a hand job with this on, and he likes to explore me with the Hello Touch in away he’s not been able to before. Um. Wow. great for sensation play, internal or external stimulation, there’s simply so many ways you could use this gem. Done without care, the Hello Touch had the potential to be a waste of money but instead is a wonderful addition to my favorites collection. Thank goodness Jimmyjane got a really difficult to pull off product right. I simply love it. The Hello Touch makes me think if they can pull this off … maybe they could design a cunnilingus simulator that actually feels like cunnilingus? How about it Jimmyjane?  Jimmyjane Hello Touch $65.00 

Unknown-1

We-Vibe Tango

We-Vibe Tango - This dynamo has what I like to call the four “S’s,” small, slim, simple and STRONG which is exactly what you want in aclitoral vibe. The size of a Chapstick, The Tango is a rechargeable, waterproof little bullet that packs a punch for when you just really need to get off … like RIGHT NOW. I use it alone and with other toys (see Tantus Echo) to get a more satisfying ride. This is the only bullet you will ever need, in fact I threw away all my others. In fact, if this thing could do my taxes and cook, I would never leave the house. We-Vibe Tango  $79.99 

 

22FL12-3

Please Cream

Please Cream Lube by Pleasure Works - My good friend sex educator and sex toy superhero,JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead turned me on to Please Cream, now my favorite lube on the planet.  I don’t know how Pleasure Works did this, but they managed to make a water-based, body-safe, glycerin free lube, feel like and last like a hybrid lube (water-based with some silicone added). Please Cream was thick enough not run anywhere I didn’t want it to when applying and it proved to be more long-lasting than any other water-based lube I’ve tried. It even has a pleasant taste! As a Please cream Devotee, When I’m in San Francisco I buy a bunch of the 3 ounce bottles that they don’t sell online at Good Vibes because they fit so nicely in my nightstand and carry-on when I travel. Pleasure Works also make a silicone and a water-based gel too and I’m sure they’re great. I don’t know because I haven’t had any reason to try them, Please Cream is just “it” for me.   Please Cream by Pleasure Works $16.00 for 8 oz.bottle 

 

images

We-Vibe 4

We-Vibe 4 Couples Vibrator - The We Vibe 3 was great and the We-Vibe 4 is even better. We-Vibe has refined it’s fourth reprise of it’s famed couples vibe by making it, well … much more “couples friendly.” The We-Vibe 4 is slimmer and made with a silicone that doesn’t become a lint magnet (which bothered me in the last iteration). They’ve upgraded the remote and streamlined it so it fits better and more comfortably in your vagina and labia. If you are having penis – vagina sex it will feel amazing on his shaft. If you are scissoring, vulva to vulva then you both win too! I like to add it to oral sex sometimes and place it at the base of his penis, you can even use it by yourself or with a dildo. Basically, the We-Vibe 4 is many toys in one, comes in a nice case, feels nice, it’s powerful and it does what it says it does. So when does it get bad?  We-Vibe 4  $159.99

 

aneros_evi_500

EVI by Aneros

EVI by Aneros - I loathe exercise of any kind … even kegel exercise, but I do it anyway because it’s good for me. So, when something comes along that makes exerting myself painless and easy, I’m in.  The EVI does just that for my PC muscles (Kegels). Aneros has been making impeccable products for men all these years, so it comes as no surprise that their first product for women is just as beautifully made. In the past I’ve described the EVI as “a barbell for your lady-bits” (yes, I referred to my vagina as “lady-bits” – don’t hate) and that’s not far off the mark. A complete departure from Ben Wa or other weighted kegel balls, the main body of EVI seems to fit perfectly into my vaginal canal, while the outside flange rests nicely on my vulva (a feeling that’s not altogether unpleasant). I’ve cleaned the house and gone shopping with it in. Though, I can’t say that will be true for every woman, I can say it works nicely for me. Women of size take note, it’s the only kegel exerciser that I can see working for ample-sized women who find it difficult to insert kegel balls.   EVI by Aneros $59.99 

 

Unknown

Sex Butter

Sex Butter  - I love this product for many reasons not the least of which is it smells yummy … peppermint with a slight hint of cocoa. Originally invented for women of a certain age who experience vaginal dryness this proprietary mix of beneficial and natural oils and butters was huge hit when it originally hit the shelves.  Now the all natural Sex Butter is in its second iteration, which has made it fluffier and even more yummy smelling. Sex Butter is perfect for committed couples that enjoy sex WITHOUT a condom (oil breaks down latex and other materials used in condoms/dams. Do not use oil based lube with a condom.)  Sex Butter is a fave because it lasts for-ever and has multiple uses. I like to massage it on my vulva every few days as a way to keep my luscious lips soft. It’s fantastic for dry skin repair, lingam/yoni massage, lip balm and to tame flyaway hairs. How many lubes can you say that about? Oh yeah, did I mention it smells yummy? Sex Butter $39.95

 

Nov 122013
 
Rachel Kramer Bussel shows of her latest anthology, The Big Book of Orgasms.

What do cupcakes, Hello Kitty and sex have in common? The answer is best- selling erotica writer, editor and anthologist Rachel Kramer Bussel. Aside from being a talented and accomplished erotica writer in her own right, one is immediately attracted to her girly sense of whimsy, fawning over cupcakes and Hello Kitty anything, to her keen sense of the carnal and concupiscent. It’s this sexy and charming juxtaposition that makes Rachel  and her work so alluring.

17465824

WIN a copy of The Big Book of Orgasms from Cleis press!
CLICK THE BOOK ABOVE!

Her latest (and some say greatest) anthology The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories (available in paperback and Kindle from Cleis Press) was just released this month. Not even half way through November and The Big Book of Orgasms has already  been able to glean enthusiastic reviews from readers and reviewers alike. This accomplishment has made me extra enthusiastic because I am lucky enough to have written one of those 69 Sexy Stories. You can read an excerpt from my true tale HERE. Perhaps the best part of this new anthology is it’s bite size portions of scream worthy stories (no more than 1200 words each) that make your entire body pulsate and sing.

There are some super-stars of erotica between those covers including: Emerald, Tess Danesi, Stella Harris and Rachel Kramer Bussel herself as well as some newbies (like myself). The Big Book of Orgasms is 351 pages tightly packed into a snug 7″ x 5″ paperback package you can carry in your pocketbook, perhaps fodder for 69 of your own sexy orgasms.

I asked Rachel to give me a list of her five favorite sex toys and a lube. Since one of her favorite sex toys IS lube, I decided to leave it at that. It’s an eclectic and sexy mix. Would you expect anything else from the Empress of Erotica?

RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL’S FIVE FAVORITE SEX TOYS:

Hitachi Magic Wand – my favorite, must have, go to vibrator. I use it to get off and to relax and also sometimes for back pain.

Tantus Pelt Paddle – though really all their silicon paddles pack a wonderful punch. I can’t take them all the time but when I get spanked with them it’s a special treat.

Crave Droplet Necklace – I love anything that I can multitask with, and this necklace is beautiful, makes me feel a little naughty when I wear it since I know I’m wearing something that can vibrate, and makes me feel like I can whip it off at any time and put it to good use. I also like that it’s small but strong.

Juliette Cuffs de Luxe – I’m a sucker for silk, and these feel and look amazing.

BabeLube by Babeland Lube! Last but not least, lube is the sex toy I use the most often and for the most variety of sexual activities. Main one I use is BabeLube, I’m not tied to it but like the pump bottle.

 WIN A COPY OF THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM FROM

SMUT FOR SMARTIES AND CLEIS PRESS!

ENTER HERE!!!!

 

magic-wand

Hitachi Magic Wand

PELT-PADDLE

Tantus Pelt Paddle

Droplet_necklace

CRAVE Droplet Necklace

a01150-all

Juliette Cuffs De Luxe

0721000_b

BabeLube

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rachel Kramer Bussel:

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and event organizer. She has written for numerous publications, including Alternative Press, CNN.com, The Daily Beast, The Frisky, Gothamist, The Hairpin, Huffington Post, Inked, Jezebel, Lemondrop, Mediabistro, The Nervous Breakdown, New York Post, New York Observer, New York Press, Playgirl, The Root, Salon, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York, The Village Voice, xoJane and Zink. She has edited 40+ anthologies for Alyson Books, Avon Red, Cleis Press, Pretty Things Press, Ravenous Romance and Seal Press, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories, Going Down, Irresistible, Women in Lust, Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Passion, Obsessed, Bottoms Up, Spanked, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Gotta Have It, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Bondage Erotica 2011 and 2012, Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2012, and 6 of her anthologies have won Gold IPPY (Independent Publisher) Awards for Erotica and Sexuality/Relationships. She has contributed to over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006 and X: The Erotic Treasury, as well as The Sexual State of the Union and Yes Means Yes.

Rachel conducts reading and erotic writing workshops worldwide, and including Chicago, Las Vegas, London, Minneapolis, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Toronto. She has presented, spoken and taught at conferences including Dark Odyssey, Erotic Authors Association, Sex 2.0, and SXSW. For five years, she hosted In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series in New York City, which featured 300 readers, including Kevin Allison, Jonathan Ames, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Kerry Cohen, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Mike Edison, Stephen Elliott, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, HoneyB (Mary Morrison), Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Diana Joseph, Jillian Lauren, Neal Medlyn, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Julie Powell, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, M.J. Rose, Susan Shapiro, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Jo Weldon, Susan Wright, and Zane, among others. Rachel holds a bachelor’s degree in political science and women’s studies from the University of California at Berkeley.

 

Oct 252013
 
Metis_Headshot_4-08_web

Metis Black is one of those names you hear in the sex-positive world that inspires reverence. Principled and unwavering in her ideal of quality sex toys, Metis started a conversation about body-safe materials which quickly turned into a revolution … that revolution begat her company Tantus, Inc. 

Metis believes in basic sex toys that get the job done, without all bright and sparkly finery that some enjoy. Simple, well-made toys that are free of any chemicals that might be harmful to your health. More than just a manufacturer though, Metis believes in good sex education an follows that up with a comprehensive section on the Tantus, Inc. website. Chock full of articles on how to find a sex-positive doctor to her own panel on toxic toys at the sex education conference CatalystCon it’s clear her commitment to supporting and informing her customers about sex is important. In fact, just yesterday Tantus announced that veteran sex educator and author of “Sex with the Lights On” Ducky Doolittle has come aboard to to be Tantus Education Coordinator. Ducky will be performing workshops on behalf of Tantus and providing trainings for retail customers and distributors among other duties. The hiring of Ducky Doolittle to represent the Tantus brand and it’s beliefs is further confirmation to me, that Metis is committed to sex education just as much as she is to safe, fun and beautiful toys.

So what kind of products does Metis choose to occupy her own nightstand? I’ll let her tell you …

Five Sex Toys …

Since 1998, as founder and president of Tantus Inc., I’ve been on the forefront of sexual education and safe effective sex toys as an industry leader. And yes, I’m a toy slut. Not many people in the industry will admit that, a significant amount don’t even play with toys, but I have always got my eye out for what is intriguing, and I own a vast collection of amazing sex toys.

What I’m not is a techno buyer. I have two Violet Wands (one a German deluxe model and one that was my Great-Grandmother’s from the 20’s), an e-stim machine because someone wanted us to make products for it, but I don’t tend to have much interest in the typical multispeed rotational internal devices. Vibratex was amazing in they gave me three different rabbit” style vibrators to try back in the day- one which actually worked for me, but it taught me that bells and whistles just really aren’t for everyone and definitely they aren’t for me. I don’t appreciate internal vibration at all and external vibration for me needs to be powerful. I keep only one battery style vibrator near my bed and it’s a titanium bodied vibrator, powered by 3 lithium batteries, created by a company Elemental Pleasures who unfortunately isn’t around anymore. (*I found the site and it appears the company has reappeared and you can purchase their vibrators HERE - LC)

I LOVE dildos and butt plugs, and while a basic dildo didn’t make my top 5 list, it would be a realistic silicone dildo that was 5 3/8” diameter. (*Personally, I love (and use) my Tantus Echo Vibrator as a dildo :) – LC)

Five Favorite Toys …

1.      Black Widow Connoisseur Harness* by Tantus (SheVibe is pre-selling) –  This is the harness I’ve wanted from the first time I strapped one on. It’s got HUGE attitude and it feels so amazing against my body. You really have to feel the quality of the leather and see the detailing close up. In honesty this line has been in the works since 2002, so Tantus took it’s time until we could really do it right and I’m pretty sure everyone will agree— we did. (* I saw this in person and you are going to LOVE how it feels. – LC)

2.      Saturn by Inner Space - Ray Cirino is an amazing designer who is legendary. He designed all the toys for the centerfolds of the old Penthouse magazines back when the budget was significant. My favorite of those shoots was a gilded bird cage theme with butt plugs with feather plumes, He was one of the first people making body safe products out of quality materials, Lucite and steel, and explaining why he chose the materials he did. He played with the toys and he could tell you intimately why each design was what it was. The toy is no longer available and he’s gone on to work on designs for sustainability projects, but he is one of the grandfathers of sex toy design. I traded Ray a Bend Over Beginner Kit for mine.

3.      Ryder plug by Tantus - The Ryder just really does meet all my criteria for what a plug should be. It took us three prototypes to get the curve from the shoulders to the neck exactly right- but we did it. I’ve never played with a plug that was so comfortable going in, or coming out.

4.      Pure Wand by Njoy - Greg DeLong is another one of those amazing designers that actually plays with toys and loves what he does. I was lucky to be introduced with Greg as he was meeting with the buyers from Babeland back in 2004. In fact the buyer brought me into the meeting. I’ve always loved playing with metal toys, but until Greg came they were all industrial, made for men. Greg made them elegant. The Pure Wand is pure genius.

5.      Plug Ins - I have three plug in vibrators in my dresser drawer. A Magic Wand, an Erosillator and a 7 in 1 Wahl. The one I use most often is The Magic Wand, but the one I recommend most to others, especially women who’ve never orgasmed, is the Wahl. The coil vibrator gets the job done, is inexpensive and very reliable. It’s also available where the other products aren’t. I think it’s the best beginner toy and it sets you up for a lifetime of savvy sex toy connoisseurship.

… and a lube.

You are going to get me in trouble with this because all the high quality lube manufacturers are dear friends— I used to write a lot of industry articles on lubricants. I’m going to have to say Pjur because I love silicone lubricant and their Light Love is just luxuriant. Also Richie Harris, President of Pjur USA, was the first person in the industry who was selling silicone lubricant and explaining to the industry why silicone. Others started producing silicone lube because Richie was doing such amazing business

Metis_Headshot_4-08_webAbout Tantus

Tantus was founded on the belief that each person has the right to a healthy sex life and that sexual health encompasses many aspects of physical and mental well-being. Tantus was one of those companies who changed an entire industry and believes we must listen to our past to pave our future. Tantus believes that a foundation of education will help people live better and happier lives. Tantus believes that our past obligates us to a stewardship for the future of sexual health. Tantus believes that our products and brand should be driven by passion and integrity. Tantus believes that the simple approach is usually the right approach. Tantus believes that with the right people at the right job we can accomplish anything.

CONTACT: 

Twitter: @Tantus
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/tantus
Web: www.tantusinc.com

magic-wand

The Magic Wand

Ryder Plug from Tantus

Ryder Plug from Tantus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus (pre-sale from SHEVIBE.COM)

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

bodyglide-light-love

Pjur Bodyglide Light Love

 

 

 

Oct 252013
 
Metis_Headshot_4-08_web

Metis Black is one of those names you hear in the sex-positive world that inspires reverence. Principled and unwavering in her ideal of quality sex toys, Metis started a conversation about body-safe materials which quickly turned into a revolution … that revolution begat her company Tantus, Inc. 

Metis believes in basic sex toys that get the job done, without all bright and sparkly finery that some enjoy. Simple, well-made toys that are free of any chemicals that might be harmful to your health. More than just a manufacturer though, Metis believes in good sex education an follows that up with a comprehensive section on the Tantus, Inc. website. Chock full of articles on how to find a sex-positive doctor to her own panel on toxic toys at the sex education conference CatalystCon it’s clear her commitment to supporting and informing her customers about sex is important. In fact, just yesterday Tantus announced that veteran sex educator and author of “Sex with the Lights On” Ducky Doolittle has come aboard to to be Tantus Education Coordinator. Ducky will be performing workshops on behalf of Tantus and providing trainings for retail customers and distributors among other duties. The hiring of Ducky Doolittle to represent the Tantus brand and it’s beliefs is further confirmation to me, that Metis is committed to sex education just as much as she is to safe, fun and beautiful toys.

So what kind of products does Metis choose to occupy her own nightstand? I’ll let her tell you …

Five Sex Toys …

Since 1998, as founder and president of Tantus Inc., I’ve been on the forefront of sexual education and safe effective sex toys as an industry leader. And yes, I’m a toy slut. Not many people in the industry will admit that, a significant amount don’t even play with toys, but I have always got my eye out for what is intriguing, and I own a vast collection of amazing sex toys.

What I’m not is a techno buyer. I have two Violet Wands (one a German deluxe model and one that was my Great-Grandmother’s from the 20’s), an e-stim machine because someone wanted us to make products for it, but I don’t tend to have much interest in the typical multispeed rotational internal devices. Vibratex was amazing in they gave me three different rabbit” style vibrators to try back in the day- one which actually worked for me, but it taught me that bells and whistles just really aren’t for everyone and definitely they aren’t for me. I don’t appreciate internal vibration at all and external vibration for me needs to be powerful. I keep only one battery style vibrator near my bed and it’s a titanium bodied vibrator, powered by 3 lithium batteries, created by a company Elemental Pleasures who unfortunately isn’t around anymore. (*I found the site and it appears the company has reappeared and you can purchase their vibrators HERE - LC)

I LOVE dildos and butt plugs, and while a basic dildo didn’t make my top 5 list, it would be a realistic silicone dildo that was 5 3/8” diameter. (*Personally, I love (and use) my Tantus Echo Vibrator as a dildo :) – LC)

Five Favorite Toys …

1.      Black Widow Connoisseur Harness* by Tantus (SheVibe is pre-selling) –  This is the harness I’ve wanted from the first time I strapped one on. It’s got HUGE attitude and it feels so amazing against my body. You really have to feel the quality of the leather and see the detailing close up. In honesty this line has been in the works since 2002, so Tantus took it’s time until we could really do it right and I’m pretty sure everyone will agree— we did. (* I saw this in person and you are going to LOVE how it feels. – LC)

2.      Saturn by Inner Space - Ray Cirino is an amazing designer who is legendary. He designed all the toys for the centerfolds of the old Penthouse magazines back when the budget was significant. My favorite of those shoots was a gilded bird cage theme with butt plugs with feather plumes, He was one of the first people making body safe products out of quality materials, Lucite and steel, and explaining why he chose the materials he did. He played with the toys and he could tell you intimately why each design was what it was. The toy is no longer available and he’s gone on to work on designs for sustainability projects, but he is one of the grandfathers of sex toy design. I traded Ray a Bend Over Beginner Kit for mine.

3.      Ryder plug by Tantus - The Ryder just really does meet all my criteria for what a plug should be. It took us three prototypes to get the curve from the shoulders to the neck exactly right- but we did it. I’ve never played with a plug that was so comfortable going in, or coming out.

4.      Pure Wand by Njoy - Greg DeLong is another one of those amazing designers that actually plays with toys and loves what he does. I was lucky to be introduced with Greg as he was meeting with the buyers from Babeland back in 2004. In fact the buyer brought me into the meeting. I’ve always loved playing with metal toys, but until Greg came they were all industrial, made for men. Greg made them elegant. The Pure Wand is pure genius.

5.      Plug Ins - I have three plug in vibrators in my dresser drawer. A Magic Wand, an Erosillator and a 7 in 1 Wahl. The one I use most often is The Magic Wand, but the one I recommend most to others, especially women who’ve never orgasmed, is the Wahl. The coil vibrator gets the job done, is inexpensive and very reliable. It’s also available where the other products aren’t. I think it’s the best beginner toy and it sets you up for a lifetime of savvy sex toy connoisseurship.

… and a lube.

You are going to get me in trouble with this because all the high quality lube manufacturers are dear friends— I used to write a lot of industry articles on lubricants. I’m going to have to say Pjur because I love silicone lubricant and their Light Love is just luxuriant. Also Richie Harris, President of Pjur USA, was the first person in the industry who was selling silicone lubricant and explaining to the industry why silicone. Others started producing silicone lube because Richie was doing such amazing business

Metis_Headshot_4-08_webAbout Tantus

Tantus was founded on the belief that each person has the right to a healthy sex life and that sexual health encompasses many aspects of physical and mental well-being. Tantus was one of those companies who changed an entire industry and believes we must listen to our past to pave our future. Tantus believes that a foundation of education will help people live better and happier lives. Tantus believes that our past obligates us to a stewardship for the future of sexual health. Tantus believes that our products and brand should be driven by passion and integrity. Tantus believes that the simple approach is usually the right approach. Tantus believes that with the right people at the right job we can accomplish anything.

CONTACT: 

Twitter: @Tantus
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/tantus
Web: www.tantusinc.com

magic-wand

The Magic Wand

Ryder Plug from Tantus

Ryder Plug from Tantus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus (pre-sale from SHEVIBE.COM)

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

bodyglide-light-love

Pjur Bodyglide Light Love

 

 

 

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

B455

The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  - Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom - Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

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The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  - Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom - Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

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