Jan 092014
 

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

– The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

– The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Dec 212013
 
LCBestToys2013

I know I’m a lucky woman. Sex toy and lube companies will often send me samples of their products to try and sometimes review. I don’t consider myself a “sex toy reviewer” per se, but I do have opinions and hopefully a sensitivity to what others may or may not like about a toy. I thoroughly test the toys  multiple times, perhaps compare notes with other sex bloggers and sex educators and give it a lot of thought.   Even if something doesn’t work for me, I can usually see how it might work for someone else. So, unless a product is so awful it actually offends me, I will usually just point out why it didn’t work for my particular body, areas of improvement and sometimes suggestions that (IMHO) I think might make the product better. That being said …

I tried a LOT of toys, had a LOT of opinions and had a LOT of orgasms and here is the reason why …

Please to enjoy, in no particular order, a list of my most beloved products of the year.

The Lovelife Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator by OhMiBod- When I pre-viewed OhMiBod’s Lovelife line last July,I giggled like a schoolgirl. Lovelife was beautiful, all pink and white and perfect like gum, I felt like I did when I was 7 years old and saw the new Barbie Dreamhouse. But when I took a gander at the Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator, I literally had to squelch back an audible chirp of excitement. Looking like a cross between a cartoon sword and … well, a sex toy, it was certainly unusual. When I was told it’s an insertable with an anal AND clitoral vibrator attached … AND each perfect vibrating vector point had it’s OWN motor (that’s THREE FREAKIN’ MOTORS, FOLKS!), I had to clutch my pearls and ask for a glass of water. Now it’s December, I’ve had my Adventure for two weeks and it’s my new boyfriend. Every woman is different but for me, the Adventure gave me a cavalcade of fantastic orgasms. Just think about it … it’s made to stimulate your vagina, anus and clit … all at the same time … with 3 powerful motors!  From the strength, to the versatility to the high-end and adorable packaging, OhMiBod took my pleasure seriously. At a price point in between affordable and luxury,  it’s anincredible value and well worth the money. In conclusion … ech, I shouldn’t have to say anything else. You all should be ordering this right now.  Go on!  Get!   The Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator  $99.00

Droplet_necklace

Droplet Necklace

 

 Crave Droplet Necklace- More jewelry than sex toy, this elegant lariat necklace shows you have style with a mischievous side. The 43′ stainless steel chain (nickel free) is attached to a steel “droplet” that hangs from each end. Each droplet hides a a tiny, subtle vibrator that can be turned on by twisting the bottom cap. It’s not strong enough for much more than nipple stimulation, but who cares? You’re wearing a vibrator around your neck and you look good doing it.  I have one in “rose gold”  but I’m dying for it in “silver” (hint, hint)  Crave Droplet Necklace $109  

photo copy 2

Lucky Bloke Condom Sampler

Lucky Bloke Condom & Lube Samplers -Let’s face it, if you ask them, most guys don’t like wearing condoms, the usual reason stated is they say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable as sex without. Usually the culprit is that that they’re wearing the wrong condom for their penis. Condoms need to be tried and tested to see which brand and size works best for the penis owner. Once the right condom is found it’s like discovering a whole new world. Lucky Bloke sells individual condom and lube sampler packs. You can buy a variety of your own choosing or one of the packs they curate. Either way, it turns grabbing a pack of condoms from the drugstore into a whole new discovery process. I’m a huge fan of Lucky Bloke and it’s not just because they sell my “Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit. I love Lucky Bloke because it makes trying different condoms easy, cost effective and painless.Their lube sampler packs work on the same premise. That’s how I discovered my favorite lube, Please Cream (see above), without having to get a big bottle of it first. I could go on and on … just check it out for yourself.    Condom & Lube Samplers by Lucky Bloke  $6.99 and up

Stronic DREI

Stronic DREI

The Stronic DREI by Fun FactoryFun Factory is clear; Don’t call this toy a vibrator. It’s not, it’s a PULSATOR. Normally, this type of qualification would annoy me, except they are 100% right. This is nothing like a vibrator. This pulsating toy is the next best thing to having a real live penis, attached to a real live person, fucking you in a real live way. It took me a few tries to warm up to the DREI, but once I did, I could see why my colleagues had been singing the praises of the whole pulsating, thrusting, waterproof and rechargeable line of insertables from Fun Factory. Drei’s powerful motor rumbles and plunges back and forth, while its smooth ridges massage and stimulate whichever orifice suits your fancy. The best part? You can use it hands-free. You’re welcome. Fun Factory Stronic Drei $199 

wedge-featured3

The Liberator Wedge

Liberator Wedge - Three’s almost no position you can’t make a little better in the bedroom with this simple, adaptable, high-density,foam wedge.  Use it to lift up your partner’s hips for better oral access or for a different approach to missionary. Lay yourself or your partner over the wider edge of the wedge for easier doggie-style or anal angles. You’ll love the freedom it gives you and your partner. The great thing about Liberator, is that they make theirwedges and ramps in two sizes; a standard size 24″ length and a plus size 30′ length. Liberator is aptly named if only for the this thoughtful touch, which is not only extremely helpful to the larger user but also those who have mobility issues. Now that I own one, I can’t imagine not having it easily accessible for all the ways (above) I use it. If you like, you can upgrade later to the larger Ramp that Liberator offers and still use your wedge in conjunction with it for even more positions. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love their favorite Liberator. Check out their website to see the varying shapes and sizes to choose from and don’t forget to watch the ultra erotic and steamy instructional videos demonstrated by sex majick rockstar and sexual wellness expert Jaiya. You won’t be able to tear yourself away.  The Wedge by Liberator $90.00

 

duke-group-thumb

Tantus “Duke” dildo

Echo and Duke Dildos by Tantus - Ok, I listed two, so sue me. In my opinion, Tantus makes the best dildos around. Not only are the shapes well-designed and delicious, their commitment to manufacturing a pristine, simple and body-safe product makes me feel secure about what I’m putting inside me. The Echo is a nice size member with ridges, giving the user a nice massage on the vagina’s inner walls. The stout and thicker Duke, is a silkier smooth ride for size queens. Both have a removable vibrating bullet that slips in from the bottom which gives it a nice … uh … resonance. :)  but here’s a tip; replace the bullet that comes with it and substitute the We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe (see above) which is way stronger and you’ll feel the difference.  Tantus Echo $67.99 & Duke $69.99  

A01616

Pink Crystal Butt Plug

Crystal Delights Pink Crystal Glass Butt Plug- Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter, “God, I love the feel of glass in my ass.” But ever since I tried Crystal Delights glass toys Im a convert. Glass is a whole other animal when it comes to intimate sensation. It’s cool and smooth and slips in soooo easily (with your favorite lube). The weight, temperature and slickness of each plug is something that really has to be experienced. It doesn’t hurt that it’s beautiful to look at, with it’s single pink crystal on the flared base to add a little sparkle to your butt (Sparklebutt!). Crystal Delights does glass well and they’re always coming up with cool ways to bedeck your bottom;  like faux bunny and pony tails, corkscrew shaped dildos and plugs and even a pink glass plug with a rhinestone Hello Kitty on the end, Crystal Delights certainly makes some of the most unique sex toys out there.  Everyone who enjoys a little anal play should own one of these beauties, in fact you might love them so much you’ll start a collection … like me. Crystal Delight Pink Crystal Butt Plug  $69.99 

Unknown-2

Hello Touch by Jimmyjane

Hello Touch Vibrator by Jimmyjane - Two tiny (but strong) vibrators that attach to two fingers, connected to super thin wires  and anchored to a wristband. Because the vibration is attached to fingers, it makes “vibrator”masturbation more intimate and sensual by yourself or with a partner. I frequently give my bedmate a hand job with this on, and he likes to explore me with the Hello Touch in away he’s not been able to before. Um. Wow. great for sensation play, internal or external stimulation, there’s simply so many ways you could use this gem. Done without care, the Hello Touch had the potential to be a waste of money but instead is a wonderful addition to my favorites collection. Thank goodness Jimmyjane got a really difficult to pull off product right. I simply love it. The Hello Touch makes me think if they can pull this off … maybe they could design a cunnilingus simulator that actually feels like cunnilingus? How about it Jimmyjane?  Jimmyjane Hello Touch $65.00 

Unknown-1

We-Vibe Tango

We-Vibe Tango – This dynamo has what I like to call the four “S’s,” small, slim, simple and STRONG which is exactly what you want in aclitoral vibe. The size of a Chapstick, The Tango is a rechargeable, waterproof little bullet that packs a punch for when you just really need to get off … like RIGHT NOW. I use it alone and with other toys (see Tantus Echo) to get a more satisfying ride. This is the only bullet you will ever need, in fact I threw away all my others. In fact, if this thing could do my taxes and cook, I would never leave the house. We-Vibe Tango  $79.99 

 

22FL12-3

Please Cream

Please Cream Lube by Pleasure Works - My good friend sex educator and sex toy superhero,JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead turned me on to Please Cream, now my favorite lube on the planet.  I don’t know how Pleasure Works did this, but they managed to make a water-based, body-safe, glycerin free lube, feel like and last like a hybrid lube (water-based with some silicone added). Please Cream was thick enough not run anywhere I didn’t want it to when applying and it proved to be more long-lasting than any other water-based lube I’ve tried. It even has a pleasant taste! As a Please cream Devotee, When I’m in San Francisco I buy a bunch of the 3 ounce bottles that they don’t sell online at Good Vibes because they fit so nicely in my nightstand and carry-on when I travel. Pleasure Works also make a silicone and a water-based gel too and I’m sure they’re great. I don’t know because I haven’t had any reason to try them, Please Cream is just “it” for me.   Please Cream by Pleasure Works $16.00 for 8 oz.bottle 

 

images

We-Vibe 4

We-Vibe 4 Couples Vibrator - The We Vibe 3 was great and the We-Vibe 4 is even better. We-Vibe has refined it’s fourth reprise of it’s famed couples vibe by making it, well … much more “couples friendly.” The We-Vibe 4 is slimmer and made with a silicone that doesn’t become a lint magnet (which bothered me in the last iteration). They’ve upgraded the remote and streamlined it so it fits better and more comfortably in your vagina and labia. If you are having penis – vagina sex it will feel amazing on his shaft. If you are scissoring, vulva to vulva then you both win too! I like to add it to oral sex sometimes and place it at the base of his penis, you can even use it by yourself or with a dildo. Basically, the We-Vibe 4 is many toys in one, comes in a nice case, feels nice, it’s powerful and it does what it says it does. So when does it get bad?  We-Vibe 4  $159.99

 

aneros_evi_500

EVI by Aneros

EVI by Aneros – I loathe exercise of any kind … even kegel exercise, but I do it anyway because it’s good for me. So, when something comes along that makes exerting myself painless and easy, I’m in.  The EVI does just that for my PC muscles (Kegels). Aneros has been making impeccable products for men all these years, so it comes as no surprise that their first product for women is just as beautifully made. In the past I’ve described the EVI as “a barbell for your lady-bits” (yes, I referred to my vagina as “lady-bits” – don’t hate) and that’s not far off the mark. A complete departure from Ben Wa or other weighted kegel balls, the main body of EVI seems to fit perfectly into my vaginal canal, while the outside flange rests nicely on my vulva (a feeling that’s not altogether unpleasant). I’ve cleaned the house and gone shopping with it in. Though, I can’t say that will be true for every woman, I can say it works nicely for me. Women of size take note, it’s the only kegel exerciser that I can see working for ample-sized women who find it difficult to insert kegel balls.   EVI by Aneros $59.99 

 

Unknown

Sex Butter

Sex Butter  - I love this product for many reasons not the least of which is it smells yummy … peppermint with a slight hint of cocoa. Originally invented for women of a certain age who experience vaginal dryness this proprietary mix of beneficial and natural oils and butters was huge hit when it originally hit the shelves.  Now the all natural Sex Butter is in its second iteration, which has made it fluffier and even more yummy smelling. Sex Butter is perfect for committed couples that enjoy sex WITHOUT a condom (oil breaks down latex and other materials used in condoms/dams. Do not use oil based lube with a condom.)  Sex Butter is a fave because it lasts for-ever and has multiple uses. I like to massage it on my vulva every few days as a way to keep my luscious lips soft. It’s fantastic for dry skin repair, lingam/yoni massage, lip balm and to tame flyaway hairs. How many lubes can you say that about? Oh yeah, did I mention it smells yummy? Sex Butter $39.95

 

Dec 212013
 
LCBestToys2013

I know I’m a lucky woman. Sex toy and lube companies will often send me samples of their products to try and sometimes review. I don’t consider myself a “sex toy reviewer” per se, but I do have opinions and hopefully a sensitivity to what others may or may not like about a toy. I thoroughly test the toys  multiple times, perhaps compare notes with other sex bloggers and sex educators and give it a lot of thought.   Even if something doesn’t work for me, I can usually see how it might work for someone else. So, unless a product is so awful it actually offends me, I will usually just point out why it didn’t work for my particular body, areas of improvement and sometimes suggestions that (IMHO) I think might make the product better. That being said …

I tried a LOT of toys, had a LOT of opinions and had a LOT of orgasms and here is the reason why …

Please to enjoy, in no particular order, a list of my most beloved products of the year.

The Lovelife Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator by OhMiBod- When I pre-viewed OhMiBod’s Lovelife line last July,I giggled like a schoolgirl. Lovelife was beautiful, all pink and white and perfect like gum, I felt like I did when I was 7 years old and saw the new Barbie Dreamhouse. But when I took a gander at the Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator, I literally had to squelch back an audible chirp of excitement. Looking like a cross between a cartoon sword and … well, a sex toy, it was certainly unusual. When I was told it’s an insertable with an anal AND clitoral vibrator attached … AND each perfect vibrating vector point had it’s OWN motor (that’s THREE FREAKIN’ MOTORS, FOLKS!), I had to clutch my pearls and ask for a glass of water. Now it’s December, I’ve had my Adventure for two weeks and it’s my new boyfriend. Every woman is different but for me, the Adventure gave me a cavalcade of fantastic orgasms. Just think about it … it’s made to stimulate your vagina, anus and clit … all at the same time … with 3 powerful motors!  From the strength, to the versatility to the high-end and adorable packaging, OhMiBod took my pleasure seriously. At a price point in between affordable and luxury,  it’s anincredible value and well worth the money. In conclusion … ech, I shouldn’t have to say anything else. You all should be ordering this right now.  Go on!  Get!   The Adventure Triple Stim Vibrator  $99.00

Droplet_necklace

Droplet Necklace

 

 Crave Droplet Necklace- More jewelry than sex toy, this elegant lariat necklace shows you have style with a mischievous side. The 43′ stainless steel chain (nickel free) is attached to a steel “droplet” that hangs from each end. Each droplet hides a a tiny, subtle vibrator that can be turned on by twisting the bottom cap. It’s not strong enough for much more than nipple stimulation, but who cares? You’re wearing a vibrator around your neck and you look good doing it.  I have one in “rose gold”  but I’m dying for it in “silver” (hint, hint)  Crave Droplet Necklace $109  

photo copy 2

Lucky Bloke Condom Sampler

Lucky Bloke Condom & Lube Samplers -Let’s face it, if you ask them, most guys don’t like wearing condoms, the usual reason stated is they say sex with a condom is not as pleasurable as sex without. Usually the culprit is that that they’re wearing the wrong condom for their penis. Condoms need to be tried and tested to see which brand and size works best for the penis owner. Once the right condom is found it’s like discovering a whole new world. Lucky Bloke sells individual condom and lube sampler packs. You can buy a variety of your own choosing or one of the packs they curate. Either way, it turns grabbing a pack of condoms from the drugstore into a whole new discovery process. I’m a huge fan of Lucky Bloke and it’s not just because they sell my “Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit. I love Lucky Bloke because it makes trying different condoms easy, cost effective and painless.Their lube sampler packs work on the same premise. That’s how I discovered my favorite lube, Please Cream (see above), without having to get a big bottle of it first. I could go on and on … just check it out for yourself.    Condom & Lube Samplers by Lucky Bloke  $6.99 and up

Stronic DREI

Stronic DREI

The Stronic DREI by Fun FactoryFun Factory is clear; Don’t call this toy a vibrator. It’s not, it’s a PULSATOR. Normally, this type of qualification would annoy me, except they are 100% right. This is nothing like a vibrator. This pulsating toy is the next best thing to having a real live penis, attached to a real live person, fucking you in a real live way. It took me a few tries to warm up to the DREI, but once I did, I could see why my colleagues had been singing the praises of the whole pulsating, thrusting, waterproof and rechargeable line of insertables from Fun Factory. Drei’s powerful motor rumbles and plunges back and forth, while its smooth ridges massage and stimulate whichever orifice suits your fancy. The best part? You can use it hands-free. You’re welcome. Fun Factory Stronic Drei $199 

wedge-featured3

The Liberator Wedge

Liberator Wedge - Three’s almost no position you can’t make a little better in the bedroom with this simple, adaptable, high-density,foam wedge.  Use it to lift up your partner’s hips for better oral access or for a different approach to missionary. Lay yourself or your partner over the wider edge of the wedge for easier doggie-style or anal angles. You’ll love the freedom it gives you and your partner. The great thing about Liberator, is that they make theirwedges and ramps in two sizes; a standard size 24″ length and a plus size 30′ length. Liberator is aptly named if only for the this thoughtful touch, which is not only extremely helpful to the larger user but also those who have mobility issues. Now that I own one, I can’t imagine not having it easily accessible for all the ways (above) I use it. If you like, you can upgrade later to the larger Ramp that Liberator offers and still use your wedge in conjunction with it for even more positions. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love their favorite Liberator. Check out their website to see the varying shapes and sizes to choose from and don’t forget to watch the ultra erotic and steamy instructional videos demonstrated by sex majick rockstar and sexual wellness expert Jaiya. You won’t be able to tear yourself away.  The Wedge by Liberator $90.00

 

duke-group-thumb

Tantus “Duke” dildo

Echo and Duke Dildos by Tantus - Ok, I listed two, so sue me. In my opinion, Tantus makes the best dildos around. Not only are the shapes well-designed and delicious, their commitment to manufacturing a pristine, simple and body-safe product makes me feel secure about what I’m putting inside me. The Echo is a nice size member with ridges, giving the user a nice massage on the vagina’s inner walls. The stout and thicker Duke, is a silkier smooth ride for size queens. Both have a removable vibrating bullet that slips in from the bottom which gives it a nice … uh … resonance. :)  but here’s a tip; replace the bullet that comes with it and substitute the We-Vibe Tango bullet vibe (see above) which is way stronger and you’ll feel the difference.  Tantus Echo $67.99 & Duke $69.99  

A01616

Pink Crystal Butt Plug

Crystal Delights Pink Crystal Glass Butt Plug- Here’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter, “God, I love the feel of glass in my ass.” But ever since I tried Crystal Delights glass toys Im a convert. Glass is a whole other animal when it comes to intimate sensation. It’s cool and smooth and slips in soooo easily (with your favorite lube). The weight, temperature and slickness of each plug is something that really has to be experienced. It doesn’t hurt that it’s beautiful to look at, with it’s single pink crystal on the flared base to add a little sparkle to your butt (Sparklebutt!). Crystal Delights does glass well and they’re always coming up with cool ways to bedeck your bottom;  like faux bunny and pony tails, corkscrew shaped dildos and plugs and even a pink glass plug with a rhinestone Hello Kitty on the end, Crystal Delights certainly makes some of the most unique sex toys out there.  Everyone who enjoys a little anal play should own one of these beauties, in fact you might love them so much you’ll start a collection … like me. Crystal Delight Pink Crystal Butt Plug  $69.99 

Unknown-2

Hello Touch by Jimmyjane

Hello Touch Vibrator by Jimmyjane - Two tiny (but strong) vibrators that attach to two fingers, connected to super thin wires  and anchored to a wristband. Because the vibration is attached to fingers, it makes “vibrator”masturbation more intimate and sensual by yourself or with a partner. I frequently give my bedmate a hand job with this on, and he likes to explore me with the Hello Touch in away he’s not been able to before. Um. Wow. great for sensation play, internal or external stimulation, there’s simply so many ways you could use this gem. Done without care, the Hello Touch had the potential to be a waste of money but instead is a wonderful addition to my favorites collection. Thank goodness Jimmyjane got a really difficult to pull off product right. I simply love it. The Hello Touch makes me think if they can pull this off … maybe they could design a cunnilingus simulator that actually feels like cunnilingus? How about it Jimmyjane?  Jimmyjane Hello Touch $65.00 

Unknown-1

We-Vibe Tango

We-Vibe Tango – This dynamo has what I like to call the four “S’s,” small, slim, simple and STRONG which is exactly what you want in aclitoral vibe. The size of a Chapstick, The Tango is a rechargeable, waterproof little bullet that packs a punch for when you just really need to get off … like RIGHT NOW. I use it alone and with other toys (see Tantus Echo) to get a more satisfying ride. This is the only bullet you will ever need, in fact I threw away all my others. In fact, if this thing could do my taxes and cook, I would never leave the house. We-Vibe Tango  $79.99 

 

22FL12-3

Please Cream

Please Cream Lube by Pleasure Works - My good friend sex educator and sex toy superhero,JoEllen Notte, The Redhead Bedhead turned me on to Please Cream, now my favorite lube on the planet.  I don’t know how Pleasure Works did this, but they managed to make a water-based, body-safe, glycerin free lube, feel like and last like a hybrid lube (water-based with some silicone added). Please Cream was thick enough not run anywhere I didn’t want it to when applying and it proved to be more long-lasting than any other water-based lube I’ve tried. It even has a pleasant taste! As a Please cream Devotee, When I’m in San Francisco I buy a bunch of the 3 ounce bottles that they don’t sell online at Good Vibes because they fit so nicely in my nightstand and carry-on when I travel. Pleasure Works also make a silicone and a water-based gel too and I’m sure they’re great. I don’t know because I haven’t had any reason to try them, Please Cream is just “it” for me.   Please Cream by Pleasure Works $16.00 for 8 oz.bottle 

 

images

We-Vibe 4

We-Vibe 4 Couples Vibrator - The We Vibe 3 was great and the We-Vibe 4 is even better. We-Vibe has refined it’s fourth reprise of it’s famed couples vibe by making it, well … much more “couples friendly.” The We-Vibe 4 is slimmer and made with a silicone that doesn’t become a lint magnet (which bothered me in the last iteration). They’ve upgraded the remote and streamlined it so it fits better and more comfortably in your vagina and labia. If you are having penis – vagina sex it will feel amazing on his shaft. If you are scissoring, vulva to vulva then you both win too! I like to add it to oral sex sometimes and place it at the base of his penis, you can even use it by yourself or with a dildo. Basically, the We-Vibe 4 is many toys in one, comes in a nice case, feels nice, it’s powerful and it does what it says it does. So when does it get bad?  We-Vibe 4  $159.99

 

aneros_evi_500

EVI by Aneros

EVI by Aneros – I loathe exercise of any kind … even kegel exercise, but I do it anyway because it’s good for me. So, when something comes along that makes exerting myself painless and easy, I’m in.  The EVI does just that for my PC muscles (Kegels). Aneros has been making impeccable products for men all these years, so it comes as no surprise that their first product for women is just as beautifully made. In the past I’ve described the EVI as “a barbell for your lady-bits” (yes, I referred to my vagina as “lady-bits” – don’t hate) and that’s not far off the mark. A complete departure from Ben Wa or other weighted kegel balls, the main body of EVI seems to fit perfectly into my vaginal canal, while the outside flange rests nicely on my vulva (a feeling that’s not altogether unpleasant). I’ve cleaned the house and gone shopping with it in. Though, I can’t say that will be true for every woman, I can say it works nicely for me. Women of size take note, it’s the only kegel exerciser that I can see working for ample-sized women who find it difficult to insert kegel balls.   EVI by Aneros $59.99 

 

Unknown

Sex Butter

Sex Butter  - I love this product for many reasons not the least of which is it smells yummy … peppermint with a slight hint of cocoa. Originally invented for women of a certain age who experience vaginal dryness this proprietary mix of beneficial and natural oils and butters was huge hit when it originally hit the shelves.  Now the all natural Sex Butter is in its second iteration, which has made it fluffier and even more yummy smelling. Sex Butter is perfect for committed couples that enjoy sex WITHOUT a condom (oil breaks down latex and other materials used in condoms/dams. Do not use oil based lube with a condom.)  Sex Butter is a fave because it lasts for-ever and has multiple uses. I like to massage it on my vulva every few days as a way to keep my luscious lips soft. It’s fantastic for dry skin repair, lingam/yoni massage, lip balm and to tame flyaway hairs. How many lubes can you say that about? Oh yeah, did I mention it smells yummy? Sex Butter $39.95

 © Copyright 2014 Smut For Smarties/Lady Cheeky All rights Reserved. Written For: Smut For Smarties 

 

125x125WEDGE15DareBare120x240

Nov 122013
 
Rachel Kramer Bussel shows of her latest anthology, The Big Book of Orgasms.

What do cupcakes, Hello Kitty and sex have in common? The answer is best- selling erotica writer, editor and anthologist Rachel Kramer Bussel. Aside from being a talented and accomplished erotica writer in her own right, one is immediately attracted to her girly sense of whimsy, fawning over cupcakes and Hello Kitty anything, to her keen sense of the carnal and concupiscent. It’s this sexy and charming juxtaposition that makes Rachel  and her work so alluring.

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WIN a copy of The Big Book of Orgasms from Cleis press!
CLICK THE BOOK ABOVE!

Her latest (and some say greatest) anthology The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories (available in paperback and Kindle from Cleis Press) was just released this month. Not even half way through November and The Big Book of Orgasms has already  been able to glean enthusiastic reviews from readers and reviewers alike. This accomplishment has made me extra enthusiastic because I am lucky enough to have written one of those 69 Sexy Stories. You can read an excerpt from my true tale HERE. Perhaps the best part of this new anthology is it’s bite size portions of scream worthy stories (no more than 1200 words each) that make your entire body pulsate and sing.

There are some super-stars of erotica between those covers including: Emerald, Tess Danesi, Stella Harris and Rachel Kramer Bussel herself as well as some newbies (like myself). The Big Book of Orgasms is 351 pages tightly packed into a snug 7″ x 5″ paperback package you can carry in your pocketbook, perhaps fodder for 69 of your own sexy orgasms.

I asked Rachel to give me a list of her five favorite sex toys and a lube. Since one of her favorite sex toys IS lube, I decided to leave it at that. It’s an eclectic and sexy mix. Would you expect anything else from the Empress of Erotica?

RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL’S FIVE FAVORITE SEX TOYS:

Hitachi Magic Wand – my favorite, must have, go to vibrator. I use it to get off and to relax and also sometimes for back pain.

Tantus Pelt Paddle – though really all their silicon paddles pack a wonderful punch. I can’t take them all the time but when I get spanked with them it’s a special treat.

Crave Droplet Necklace – I love anything that I can multitask with, and this necklace is beautiful, makes me feel a little naughty when I wear it since I know I’m wearing something that can vibrate, and makes me feel like I can whip it off at any time and put it to good use. I also like that it’s small but strong.

Juliette Cuffs de Luxe – I’m a sucker for silk, and these feel and look amazing.

BabeLube by Babeland Lube! Last but not least, lube is the sex toy I use the most often and for the most variety of sexual activities. Main one I use is BabeLube, I’m not tied to it but like the pump bottle.

 WIN A COPY OF THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM FROM

SMUT FOR SMARTIES AND CLEIS PRESS!

ENTER HERE!!!!

 

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Hitachi Magic Wand

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Tantus Pelt Paddle

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CRAVE Droplet Necklace

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Juliette Cuffs De Luxe

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BabeLube

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Rachel Kramer Bussel:

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and event organizer. She has written for numerous publications, including Alternative Press, CNN.com, The Daily Beast, The Frisky, Gothamist, The Hairpin, Huffington Post, Inked, Jezebel, Lemondrop, Mediabistro, The Nervous Breakdown, New York Post, New York Observer, New York Press, Playgirl, The Root, Salon, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York, The Village Voice, xoJane and Zink. She has edited 40+ anthologies for Alyson Books, Avon Red, Cleis Press, Pretty Things Press, Ravenous Romance and Seal Press, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories, Going Down, Irresistible, Women in Lust, Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Passion, Obsessed, Bottoms Up, Spanked, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Gotta Have It, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Bondage Erotica 2011 and 2012, Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2012, and 6 of her anthologies have won Gold IPPY (Independent Publisher) Awards for Erotica and Sexuality/Relationships. She has contributed to over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006 and X: The Erotic Treasury, as well as The Sexual State of the Union and Yes Means Yes.

Rachel conducts reading and erotic writing workshops worldwide, and including Chicago, Las Vegas, London, Minneapolis, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Toronto. She has presented, spoken and taught at conferences including Dark Odyssey, Erotic Authors Association, Sex 2.0, and SXSW. For five years, she hosted In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series in New York City, which featured 300 readers, including Kevin Allison, Jonathan Ames, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Kerry Cohen, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Mike Edison, Stephen Elliott, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, HoneyB (Mary Morrison), Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Diana Joseph, Jillian Lauren, Neal Medlyn, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Julie Powell, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, M.J. Rose, Susan Shapiro, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Jo Weldon, Susan Wright, and Zane, among others. Rachel holds a bachelor’s degree in political science and women’s studies from the University of California at Berkeley.

 

Oct 282013
 
The Big Book of Orgasms by Rachel Kramer Bussel

 

Hey Kids!

I’m thrilled to report that my true erotic story, “The Massage” is in the latest, greatest (and RKB fave) erotic anthology from Rachel Kramer Bussel, THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM. There are 69 (duh) fantastic short stories of 1500 words or less by some incredible erotica writers like; Emerald, Tess Danesi, Sinclair Sexsmith and Rachel Kramer Bussel herself.

Christmas is coming and I’m guessing there’s someone on your list who deserves to get sweaty over some stories through the winter!

ABOUT:

69 sensational stories that will get you off! What happens when you bring together 69 authors sharing their hottest orgasm stories? If you have top notch erotica editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, you get ”The Big Book of Orgasms” ! This climactic collection captures top erotica writers serving up steamy scenarios all focused on The Big O. Whether getting off from exhibitionism, voyeurism, or a very special pair of blue jeans, the characters in ”The Big Book of Orgasms” explore all sorts of ways they can come. Go “Under the Table” with Elizabeth Coldwell and cheer for “The Pink Team” by Kelly Rand. Discover the thrill of hot wax and even hotter sex; these short stories bring the heat on every page! With a foreword by ”Ecstasy is Necessary” author Barbara Carrellas, these are climaxes you”ll want to relive again and again. Dr. Ruth once said about Rachel Kramer Bussel, “she is only satisfied if you come and come again.” With this rousing read, ”The Big Book of Orgasms” counts all the wonderful ways women get off. Inspirational as well as aspirational, this book celebrates women”s sexuality by reaching new heights of excellence. Each of the 69 stories about “the big O” is a peak experience in and of itself.

 

 

Check it out on GOODREADS

You can purchase THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM at:

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE

INDIGO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oct 282013
 
The Big Book of Orgasms by Rachel Kramer Bussel

 

Hey Kids!

I’m thrilled to report that my true erotic story, “The Massage” is in the latest, greatest (and RKB fave) erotic anthology from Rachel Kramer Bussel, THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM. There are 69 (duh) fantastic short stories of 1500 words or less by some incredible erotica writers like; Emerald, Tess Danesi, Sinclair Sexsmith and Rachel Kramer Bussel herself.

Christmas is coming and I’m guessing there’s someone on your list who deserves to get sweaty over some stories through the winter!

ABOUT:

69 sensational stories that will get you off! What happens when you bring together 69 authors sharing their hottest orgasm stories? If you have top notch erotica editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, you get ”The Big Book of Orgasms” ! This climactic collection captures top erotica writers serving up steamy scenarios all focused on The Big O. Whether getting off from exhibitionism, voyeurism, or a very special pair of blue jeans, the characters in ”The Big Book of Orgasms” explore all sorts of ways they can come. Go “Under the Table” with Elizabeth Coldwell and cheer for “The Pink Team” by Kelly Rand. Discover the thrill of hot wax and even hotter sex; these short stories bring the heat on every page! With a foreword by ”Ecstasy is Necessary” author Barbara Carrellas, these are climaxes you”ll want to relive again and again. Dr. Ruth once said about Rachel Kramer Bussel, “she is only satisfied if you come and come again.” With this rousing read, ”The Big Book of Orgasms” counts all the wonderful ways women get off. Inspirational as well as aspirational, this book celebrates women”s sexuality by reaching new heights of excellence. Each of the 69 stories about “the big O” is a peak experience in and of itself.

 

 

Check it out on GOODREADS

You can purchase THE BIG BOOK OF ORGASM at:

AMAZON

BARNES & NOBLE

INDIGO

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aug 252013
 
Photo from: www.sulit.com.ph

Photo from: www.sulit.com.ph

This article originally appeared on www.DatingAdvice.com 

For anyone who’s heard about Tantra and has been daunted by the complexities of this eastern art of lovemaking, you might want to consider starting with a Lingam massage.

In Tantra, the Lingam is the penis. In fact, in Sanskrit it means “a symbol of divine generative energy, esp. a phallus or phallic object worshiped by Shiva in the Hindu religion.”

The art of Lingam massage is not to bring the man to orgasm, but to let him relax and be the receiver of pleasure, hopefully achieving a higher state of consciousness. This act can strengthen the intimacy between you and your lover or build intimacy between new partners.

While a Lingam massage is best administered by a partner who is a trained and certified Tantra practitioner, we can pick up a couple of tips to add a unique and relaxing experience to your sexual repertoire.

Set the scene.

Forgo the bedside lamps and go for candlelight instead. Set the mood with relaxing music and incense to make the atmosphere extra exotic.

You’ll want to have an unscented, all natural oil for the massage and one or two hand towels close by. I suggest a high grade coconut oil that you can buy in any supermarket or health food store, as it can be used for both massage and lube. If you use a commercial massage oil with a scent, you’ll want to have some lube on hand for the main event, as some additives and scented essential oils can be irritating to that sensitive area.

Deliberate touch.

Ask your lover to lie down face up and close his eyes. Warming the oil in your hands, begin to spread the liquid over his entire body. As you are rubbing his body, set your intention to do this in the most loving and caring way.

Make believe you’ve never touched this person before and slowly explore every part of his body with each rhythmic stroke. These caresses will slow his heart rate, reduce any stress from the day and speed up the release of oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone,” which promotes feelings of well-being, trust and bonding.

Honor the Lingam.

Part of the mindset of a Lingam massage is honoring his penis. Think about how much trust it takes for a man to give up complete control of not just his penis, but his entire body to another person.  Respect this relinquishment and handle his body and his cock with the care and reverence it deserves. Intention is everything here. Again, the goal is not for him to orgasm (although that’s a lovely side benefit if he does), but to allow him to receive pleasure and tune into the sensual array of sensations his penis can experience.

 

“The important thing is to enjoy the process of giving him pleasure.”

 

Massage time.

When it comes time to massage his cock, make certain your hands are oiled or lubed.

For beginners, think of massaging his penis as if you were deconstructing a hand job. Do everything you might do in a hand job, but break up the actions and go much slower.

Try cradling his balls and massage in between his testicles. Rub his perineum while you gently stroke his shaft.

Concentrate on just the head of his cock. Use one hand like a “juicer” and gently move the other up and down his rod.

Really oil up your hands, put his dick in between your laced fingers and move up and down with a firm grip.

Take your interlaced hands above his corona (head of his penis) and even more firmly bring them down again, mimicking the opening to your vagina. Then watch his toes curl.

A full-body orgasm.

You could find that throughout the massage your partner might vary from hard to soft and everywhere in between. This is completely normal and has nothing to do with his level of enjoyment.

Continue your massaging, stroking, grazing and fondling of his cock. In fact, by “edging” (bringing him close to coming and then back down again over and over) his orgasm later, perhaps when both of you are having sex, this will make it more intense.

Some men report that they have a full-body orgasm. This is a powerful orgasm where he may also feel pulsing sensation in other parts of his body, like his torso, thighs and feet. Even others report a “heady” feeling of euphoria more profound and deep than they have experienced in orgasms past.

While there are way too many techniques to go over here, I highly recommend the book “Red Hot Touch: A Head-to-Toe Handbook for Mind-Blowing Orgasms” by Jaiya and Jon Hanauer, as well as her companion DVD “Red Hot Touch: Genital Massage for Men.”

I have found Jaiya’s series of books and DVDs to be the best for beginners. They offer a more in-depth explanation into the specific technique of Lingam massage.

Whatever happens when you decide to give him your version of a Lingam massage, the important thing is to enjoy the process of giving him the pleasure of a new and enticing way to experience his sexuality.

Regardless of whether this becomes a part of your regular routine or just something you try once or twice, I’m certain it won’t be something he will soon forget.

Ladies, have you ever given your man a massage like this? Do you feel like it’s something you want to incorporate into your love life?

For more on this subject, I recommend the following book and DVD’s all by JAIYA:

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  Red Hot Touch  – Book

 

 

 

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  Genital Massage for Men – DVD

 

 

 

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  The Best of Penis Massage - DVD

Aug 132013
 
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The “Raquel”

by Lady Cheeky

I was about 25 in the mid 90’s when a good friend was shocked to find out that I didn’t own a sex toy … a vibrator to be exact. At the time, I was horrified to hear her mention my name in the same sentence as the word “vibrator.” For my next birthday, I opened up a flimsy cardboard box to find “The Raquel,” a 7”, candy purple, plastic, Apollo 13 shaped vibrator with a black plastic base you could rotate for different speeds. I turned bright red and laughed it off as a joke gift, but really, I couldn’t wait to get home and try it.

So began my love affair with electric stimulation. “Raquel” and I had a titillating relationship until her untimely demise between the teeth of my Lhasa Apso “Bowie.” I was bereft. My Raquel was gone and there was nothing I could do about it, because there was no fucking way I was going into a sex shop. Weeks went by and I became more high strung. My fingers were a fine substitute, but oh, how I missed the particular buzz of a vibrator.

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“The Tongue”

One day, while reading an Us Magazine feature on the X-Files, I flipped to the back of the mag and saw a tiny box of ad for something called “The Tongue.” “The Tongue”  was a battery-operated device that purported to simulate my favorite sex act of all, cunnilingus AND it vibrated! At that moment, I imagined I heard angels singing and Moses standing in the doorway to my bedroom. In my euphoric hallucination I heard Moses say, “Go forth young one. Go forth and be pleasured by ‘The Tongue.”

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My hallucination

With Moses’ blessing I wrote a $120 dollar check, popped it in an envelope, sent it in to the company and waited the 6 to 8 weeks for it to arrive. Finally, coming home after work, I found a plain brown box on my doorstep, from an address I didn’t recognize, in a state I’ve never been to, from a person I didn’t know. This had to be it! I secreted it off, hiding it under my arm and looking both ways before entering my house. Once safe in my bedroom I tore through the box to find my very own, 3-½ inch red rubber, pointy facsimile of a tongue. “The Tongue” was very realistic. It had taste buds and a ridge down the middle that lead to its hefty white plastic base containing the controls.  My body trembled, and as I looked up from my prize possession. I swear I saw Moses leaning on my doorway, arms crossed with a smirk on his face nodding as if to say “Ohhhh yeahhhh .. GO FORTH. GO FORTH!

I immediately washed the Tongue and slammed two “C” batteries into the base, took off my pants, laid down on my bed, took a deep breath and turned it on.

Major fail.

Droopy-002

“The Tongue” was the “Droopy the Dog” of vibrators

What I expected was Raquel 2.0. What I got was the vibrator version of Droopy the Dog. Despite the battery size, the claims in the ad and my naive hope for a more intense orgasm, “The Tongue” had failed me.

The mimicked licking motion was more like an old car about to die than an eager young man feasting on his favorite meal. I was crestfallen and more importantly, discouraged. “The Tongue” was my last hope. I felt I was doomed to a life of manual stimulation.

Years passed. I met a man. I got married, I separated from my husband and at age 40, I was finally becoming sexually realized.  Alone in my new apartment I thought of Raquel. I missed her smooth ‘skin’ and her vibrato ‘laugh’ and reminisced about all the fun times we had. I wanted to feel the way Raquel made me feel again, alive and energized and womanly. Suddenly, this became my single goal. Driven, I hopped into my car and made my way to West Hollywood’s famed sex shop, The Pleasure Chest.

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Nirvana (aka The Pleasure Chest, West Hollywood, CA)

In the circle of other repressed, straight, white, Jewish women of Los Angeles, The Pleasure Chest was always considered “hardcore.”  At my bridal shower years before, one of the guests exclaimed “Did you know I went with my boyfriend once as a goof and they had a HUUUUUGE rubber forearm and fist for sale! I mean, what are you supposed to do with THAT!?”  Now, I was entering said “hardcore” sex shop and though my heart was racing and my palms were sweaty, it wasn’t out of embarrassment or fear … it was delightful excitement. Somehow I knew, that inside was a wonderful world in which I could get every sexual need met, even ones I didn’t know existed. And boy, was I right.

As I entered The Pleasure Chest, I found it was like nothing I had expected. It wasn’t the dark, seedy XXX sex shops I had seen portrayed in movies, where men in trench coats hold newspapers and disappear into a backroom for 15 minutes at a time. No, The Pleasure Chest was well lit, clean and quite high-end. There were lots of glass shelves with brightly colored bottles next to a wall of condom boxes offering more than just the drugstore brands. There were massage oils, candles, soap, games, lingerie and even books and greeting cards. When I made my way up to the main portion of the store where they had the toys, I immediately became overwhelmed. Were these ALL vibrators? Did all these different shapes have a specific purpose? I mean, what more could they do than vibrate on your clit?

A young, mow-hawked and pierced Pleasure Chest employee approached and I immediately wondered if she could tell I was a newbie. She smiled warmly when she greeted me and asked, “Do you need any help finding anything?” Wow. She couldn’t have been more disarming if she tried. Here I was, a castaway adrift in a sea of sex toys and she was had just thrown me a life vest.  I was so relieved; I instantly wanted her to be my best friend. “Yes, I’m looking for a vibrator but I’m not certain where to start. I mean, I had one a long time ago but … Anyway, the only one I even heard about is … a Rabbit?” I had no idea what a “Rabbit” did.

I-RABBIT

Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit

My new bestie smiled and led me over to a shelf with about 15 vibrators that all had a rabbit torso protruding from the base. I couldn’t, for the life of me,  get my head around how this would be better than my Raquel. Plus, they were garish, pink with pearls and rhinestones and glitter … soooo not me. If I was going to own a vibrator I wanted it to be the ‘Carolina Herrera’ of vibrators. When I told my new best friend how much I hated how these looked, she guided me to the other side of the display and showed me the ‘Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit’.  There it stood pristine and simple in all white as if it were the most elegant Calvin Klein Oscar dress. I knew I had found my new vibratory relationship.

My new best friend explained all the pros and cons of this particular model; all about the company and the quality of the materials they use, what kind of customers it attracts, how body-safe it was, how to clean it (weren’t they ALL body safe? Yikes!) and what kind of lube I could and could not use with it (I’m supposed to use lube?) why it was $100 as opposed to $40, (but she could show me $40 Rabbits I would be happy with too). My head was swimming. All this information about a sex toy? I didn’t realize there was so much to know! She then showed me how all of the controls worked and what kind of stimulation it could provide and possibly a new type of orgasm (there’s more than one type of orgasm!?).

I didn’t need to know anything else. This was the vibe for me. My Pleasure Chest best friend grabbed one off the shelf and asked me if I wanted to see anything else. An evening of sex and sex toy education ensued. By the end of my time there, I knew what ‘sex-positive’ meant, I knew what were body safe materials and what weren’t and I even learned what a dental dam was and why people used them, all with my very affable, very patient salesperson.

The redhead Bedhead

The Redhead Bedhead

I left the store that night giving my sales gal a hug and a hearty ‘thank you’ and upon her urging, I promised I would be back to see her again if I had any more questions. On the way to my car I began to wonder what my life would’ve been like if I had grown up with sex positive people in my life. I know I never would’ve waited so long to go to a sex shop. If only there were people like The Redhead Bedhead around back then, someone who actually visited all the sex-positive and female friendly sex shops across the country in “a mission to save the world from mediocre sex.” Maybe if her SUPERHERO SEX SHOP TOUR existed when I was 19, she would have demystified and made safe, the idea of the sex shops were ALSO for me and my vanilla girlfriends, not only the fetish community.

Maybe then, I would have had a cache of vibrators, dildos, anal beads, butt plugs, lube, blindfolds and the like … at least a lot sooner anyway. ;)

I got into my car and felt the satisfied and proud grin on my face. “That wasn’t scary at all! That was so much fun!” I thought. And as I backed out of my parking spot, feeling confident and very “adult,”  I could swear I saw Moses in my rear view mirror giving me a wink and a “Fonzie” thumbs-up as I pulled away.

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Click below to learn more about

 The Redhead Bedhead

and

 click on the link below 

THE SUPERHERO SEX SHOP TOUR

to learn more about how you can support this worthwhile endeavor.

xo LC

 

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

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The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  – Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom – Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

B455

The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  – Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom – Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

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