Tag Archives: Porn

Weightless

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tumblr_m7ov4wY6tU1rp1nr2o1_500By Lady Cheeky

I posted this picture recently on my blog, Lady Cheeky. Underneath the photo I typed the word “Gorgeous.” When I blog my photos, I do it rather quickly as I only blog the images I, personally think are sexy. I don’t always comment on photos I post, but when I do it’s because a word or a feeling comes to mind and I add the comment as effortlessly as I would if I were having conversation.

On this day, again without thinking, I posted the comment “GORGEOUS” on this sensual photo of a very zaftig woman laying on her side with a naked man behind her. I thought the image was beautiful and the body, with all it’s texture and curves was gorgeous. Even though my porn site is body-positive, I still get the regular lookie-loos that just want to see the graphic images. That’s fine, I like them too. To each his/her own. But when comments attacking someone’s size, either skinny or large, deluge my in-box, it always makes me roll my eyes and sigh. Today wasn’t the first time I received un-kind words regarding a photo I posted. But today I recognized a change in how I see them.

When I’ve receive these blistering notes, I don’t get angry, I don’t get offended, I don’t get depressed or antagonistic or vindictive. I never feel attacked, less-than or judged. And because I also share some of the characteristics of the picture I posted, I could sit here in self-hate and use the rapacious insults to validate all that I think is wrong with me.  In fact, in the past I would have. But instead, I feel like a climber that has reached the top of a small but difficult mountain, looking out to azure skies and tree-topped valleys upon the vast landscape upon which holds the secret of my next trek.

London Andrews

London Andrews

Today, when I see these comments in my in-box I feel validated and liberated and secure because I know that I’ve overcome thinking of my round, soft and curvy body as less desirable, less sensual and less important than the average-sized women I used to compare myself to. I feel free from the drama in my head of constantly worrying if my lover will walk out the door when he sees my stomach … naked without the Spanx binding it in. Feeling confident that I am attractive because I feel sexy in my own skin “knowing” of who I am as a woman is the payoff of years and years of hard inner and practical work.

Today, when I post a gorgeous photo of a nude woman, laid out in all her vulnerable, sexy nakedness … a woman who resembles me much more than a traditionally sized woman, I no longer take in the “fatty” or the “whale” or “the lazy whore needs to go to the gym” comments because for every nasty comment gets lodged at me for what I personally think is gorgeous, I get a comment like this: “That picture that you said “Gorgeous” I have almost the same body as her. It made me smile.”

THAT made ME smile and made my day. It reminded me of a quote by Mary VonEbner-Eschenbach: “In youth we learn; In age we understand.”  Today in my Oprah “Aha moment” I see that no matter how small your contribution is to pursue a purpose you believe in (for me, my little blog) you still have the capacity to make a stranger smile and even potentially piss-off the ignorant at the same time. And that makes my younger-self feel weightless and my present self feel very, very grateful for the capacity to finally understand.

 

 

 

 

 

Porn Industry Fights For Your Rights

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 By Dr. Marty Klein originally published on his site Sexual Intelligence on 11/30/12

Even if you don’t watch porn—even if you think porn should be illegal—you still get the benefits of the porn industry’s fight to safeguard your freedoms as an American. And this goes way beyond your right to watch porn, to areas of privacy, capricious taxation, and elsewhere.

Here’s the latest.

Say you produce adult porn films for a living (go with me on this). You, the government, and society all agree that only adults should act in such films. And in fact, the adult film industry has an amazing record of accidentally employing almost no underage actors/actresses girls in the last 30 years—a far better record than the number of oil spills, crashes, or explosions in any other industry.

So it’s illegal for underage people to act in adult films. No problem. The government goes a step further, and requires age documentation of every participant in adult films. You must prove you’re an adult. No problem.

One day you decide to make a film featuring only 50-year-olds. All participants must prove they’re adults, and they do. But the government has this law (called “2257”) about record-keeping, unique to the adult film industry. They can come into your office unannounced, with no warrant or even probable cause, asking for the IDs of the 50-year-olds in the film; if you don’t have them handy right there, you can be prosecuted and sent to jail. You can go to jail not because you have underage actors in your film, but because you can’t prove that three 50-year-olds are over 18.

This law isn’t keeping underage talent out of films—because they haven’t been in commercial films to begin with. It’s simple harassment of a legal industry, which no other industry has to suffer. It’s an unconstitutional invasion of privacy—government agents coming into your premises unannounced not because they have a reasonable cause, but because the law allows them.

So here’s the big news—the porn industry has challenged this law, the government asked the case to be dismissed, and a federal judge refused.

In this case, the porn industry is protecting all Americans’ rights—to be, as the Fourth Amendment says, “secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures.”

Here are just three other ways (there are many others) the porn industry protects your rights, whether you watch porn or not:

* Fighting arbitrary zoning: Cities and counties around the country try to prevent adult bookstores from opening by inventing discriminatory zoning rules—which are also used to prevent swing clubs, education centers, and religious centers from opening.

* Fighting taxes based on content: Several states now tax strip clubs more than other forms of live entertainment. If they can do this, they can levy extra taxes on any form of communication they want to discourage (such as violent video games or religious newspapers).

* Fighting government agencies advancing a moral agenda: Even though there is no HIV problem in the adult film industry (you’re safer sleeping with a porn actress/actor than a stranger you meet in a bar), Los Angeles County plans to require condoms and dental dams on all porn shoots. If they can do this, they can supervise any legal activity of which they disapprove, such as fashion shows, church bake sales, and campus protests.

So whether you watch porn or not, whether you think porn is evil or not—this holiday season, give thanks that, in addition to making films, porn producers are protecting your rights.

 

Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and sociologist with a special interest in public policy and sexuality. He has written 6 books and over 100 articles about sexuality. Each year he trains thousands of professionals in North America and abroad in clinical skills, human sexuality, and policy issues.

Marty sees men, women, and couples in his Palo Alto office for psychotherapy, couples counseling, and sex therapy. For an appointment, write Klein AT SexEd.org or call 650/773-2425.

Each month Marty publishes the electronic newsletter Sexual Intelligence,TMwhich examines the sexual implications of current events, politics, technology, popular culture, and the media.

For an archive of his original articles, lots of Q/A about sexuality, and other material, see www.SexEd.org.

Marty’s current award-winning book is America’s War On Sex: The Attack on Law, Lust, & Liberty.

Study: Porn stars aren’t “damaged”

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A report finds adult actresses are happier than the rest of us — and that being naked might lead to self-esteem

BY      Originally published on SALON.COM - 11/27/12

A common stereotype of a female porn star is an insecure, sexually abused, mentally ill and/or drug-addled woman. It’s one supported by anecdotes (most memorably by Linda Lovelace’s harrowing autobiography) and rhetoric (the feminist scholar Catharine MacKinnon went so far as to claim that all porn actresses were sexually abused as children). But as for actual research? Eh, not so much.

Now, a new study claims to have debunked this truism, which is known as the “damaged goods hypothesis.”

Some performers were amused by the news. “As a happy, healthy female porn performer, my reaction is: thanks, science, thanks so much for proving I am real,” says writer and porn performer Lorelei Lee in an email.

On a similar note, porn actress Dylan Ryan tells me, “It’s about time that research catches up to the realities for a great many women who perform in porn,” she says in an email. “It’s important to me as a performer that the conversation evolve and develop to make space for the (as in any community and population) diversity of experiences, personalities and lifestyles of porn performers.”

Adult actress and director Kimberly Kane took a different tack. “I’ve found that everyone is damaged no matter what line of work they’re in,” she says.

Researchers compared self-reports from a group of nearly 200 porn actresses to those of women outside the industry who were similar in age, ethnicity and marital status. Not only did the report show no higher incidence of child sexual abuse or psychological problems among female performers, but it actually found that pornsters had higher levels of self-esteem and sexual satisfaction.

It’s true, however, that porn actresses are more likely to have ever tried a range of drugs, including ecstasy, cocaine, heroin and methamphetamine, according to the study. But as for recent drug use, performers were more frequent users only when it came to that devastating drug known as … marijuana.

Also of note in the study’s findings: Female performers were more likely to identify as bisexual, had sex at earlier ages, had more sexual partners and were more likely to be worried about STDs (although, due to mandated industry testing, they are perhaps more likely to know their status than the general populace).

The study, authored in part by Sharon Mitchell, a former porn performer and founder of the Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation, engages in plenty of speculation about what might account for these various differences — for example, in explaining the higher incidence of bisexuality, researchers suggest that “the adult entertainment industry acts as a facilitator of sexual fluidity by providing a supportive culture of same-gender sexual interactions and offers financial rewards for engaging in those behaviors.”

But the most fascinating hypothesis — and let’s remember, it’s just that — is that “being able to be completely naked in front of others” may be associated with higher self-esteem. (The paper cites another study finding that topless women at a beach reported higher self-esteem than those covered up.)

“I think that the misconception of porn performers as ‘damaged goods’ stems from a misconception that only women who have little respect for their body would take place in sexual acts in front of the camera,” says Madison Young, a porn actress, artist and self-described “sexual revolutionary.” “However, women who love their bodies, who are confident in themselves, many who have degrees and other careers, choose to be a part of the authentic documentation of pleasure.” They aren’t the only ones who choose to participate, of course, but that range does exists. “Pornography and the exploration of sexuality on film is a large and diverse realm and those that perform and work in the world of pornography are diverse as well,” she says.

And understanding that diversity means continuing to study it.

Tracy Clark-Flory is a staff writer at Salon.
Follow @tracyclarkflory on Twitter.

 

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(Photo: Spanish News)

Re-Union

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By biggirl4bigfun

We’re standing in front of his garage kissing like we’ve done many times before over the decades. It isn’t always here; we’ve made out in front of hotels, schools and libraries. But it’s familiar—his touch, his taste and I feel him starting to relent—to giving up his fight against our eventual coupling. This is the preliminary stand-off.  We’ve been having these skirmishes since college. Because we aren’t a couple any longer, he thinks it’s ultimately wrong and I believe it’s forever right.

But I’m tired of always having to do the seduction. When we first got together, he went crazy with lust and I would use sex as a reward. I didn’t have to have it, so I could tease him relentlessly. Now I need sex and will do anything to get it from him, even if means dirty fighting like making sure he feels my rigid nipples as I accidently brush against him.

I have a mostly platonic relationship with the man I live with. He gave me permission to sleep with whomever I wanted outside the relationship as long as I never left him. We made this agreement a long time ago. I sense that he would like it to be null and void. But I need my every-so-often reunion sex with my college boyfriend and I don’t want to feel guilty about it.

It’s the fact that my ex fights it every time that makes me so wet.  I make him powerless and I love that. I want to have one of those same tryst next year things and in the moment, pressed up against me, he does too.

We continue to kiss and touch there in the driveway. I can tell he is losing his desire to fight me and his lust is growing as his cock. I’m winning this battle of the flesh. Soon he will give up and let himself surrender to our mutual passion. He always does. The time he spends holding me off though is time we could be spending getting off.

During one of our reunions he tried to be adamant that we would not have sex and yet every night we ended up in bed together. He fucked me thoroughly but would not kiss me on the lips. To not get hurt by his actions, I fantasized that he was the manwhore and I was his Jane. It was his way of paying me back for being so stingy with my body earlier in our relationship and it made him feel (falsely) as if he had any control over our hunger for each other.

His cock is huge, beautiful and always wants me. I need to feel it inside me. I’m happy that most women do not know by looking at him about his cock or he would be too busy to reconnect with his old girlfriend. Not only does he have an amazing penis, he’s a genius at using it. What do they say about people who aren’t obviously hot? They try harder. And he gets even harder as he’s trying.

“We don’t have to have sex,” I lie. But our bodies came to an agreement long before now and there’s no stopping. We’ve got to get somewhere or we are going to be fucking in front of the house.

We miraculously make it into the overstuffed garage fully clothed.  He slams me up against the washer and starts to touch my breasts, my face as his hand creeps down my pants. How can a disgusting garage be so erotic? Pulling out his oversized cock, he demands I suck it. I fall to my knees hoping to avoid a grease spot on the floor and take his almost hard dick into my mouth.

“You are my dirty girl” he growls.  Yes, yes I am. Always.

It’s a good thing I’ve had practice sucking his cock because of its length and girth. Blowing him is not for the novice cock sucker. I can’t even get the whole thing in at once. I start by putting as much of the shaft in my mouth as I can. One of my hands is holding on to the base, the other is flat against his pelvis for balance. I lick the tip of his cock with quick jabs and then start to suck hard. Already in ecstasy he starts to furiously fuck my mouth. My moaning causes vibrations to bounce off his massive erection. He just gets more and more aroused.

I don’t care what happens in the future—this cock is mine and always will be. Normally I don’t enjoy cum but with him, I wish I could be bathed in it. I want him to coat my throat with his cum; I want to be baptized as his.

I remember our first movie date. As we sat in the darkened theatre he traced circles in the palm of my hand. Nothing has ever turned me on as much as that. It was the smallest of actions but so effective. He knows what works with me—a benefit of our on-going

connection.

He’s about to cum but I’m going to need more and I don’t want it to be bent over some old boxes marked “dishware.” We sneak into the house, careful to avoid his sister who is packing up her old bedroom. I feel like a teenager and that just makes it hotter.

He’s fast as he lays me down on the bed with my cunt hanging over the edge. He pushes my panties to the side, pulls out his hard cock and plunges in me. That first thrust is always the best. My pussy seems to mold itself around his shaft. We are the perfect fit.  I’m wet, he’s stiff and it feels amazing. He is going at it fast and hard. His kisses cover my mouth and his hands grab my breasts, pulling at them. His attention is on every part of my body; every piece of flesh and every part of my spirit too.

Although I’m older and heavier, when I’m with him, I feel young. Our sexual chemistry is like a time machine, taking us back to the time where there was no recovery time needed and we could fuck six times a day. We were both beautiful and we are both beautiful now.

I’m just about to climax, when he turns me over and he fucks me doggie style. His hand is placed right where my neck meets my back, steadying himself as he continues to go in and out with that gigantic cock. I feel his sweat dripping on my back.

I start to cum but he gives me no time to recover. He has more to do. I’m flipped back on my back and I whisper “force me.” He understands immediately and pins my hands over my head with one hand, pries my legs apart with his leg, rips at the now dripping panties with his free hand and almost impales me with his huge erection. I nearly lose consciousness, it’s that intense.

We are joined, cunt to cock, hand to hand and heart to heart. In this moment our physical union is enough. As he starts to cum, he shouts my name, admitting his defeat; game, set and snatch.

You are my dirty girl. Yes, always but next time you do the seducing.

Big Girl 4 Big Fun is the author of the blog Tales From a Former Fat Slut .

A Treatise On Beauty

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By Lady Cheeky

I think it’s the perceived imperfections in people that make them interesting and therefore … to me … more beautiful. If this photo were generated by a traditional adult industrial complex the blemishes on her legs, the folds and texture of her skin, the bra strap indentations, would all be airbrushed out.  But, leaving her photo like this, shows us the inherent sensuality in the human body.  The authenticity of this un-retouched form illuminates the natural sexuality in a vulnerable moment captured for the sake of capturing it. Certainly, beauty is subjective.  I see beauty in a lot of traditionally “beautiful” images as well … but to me, this is a deeper, more satisfying beauty.

Thank goodness for people who post photos like this.  They are the quiet revolutionaries that fight with generosity instead of  aggression or pomposity.  They are the lanterns of authenticity gently beckoning all of our collective ships to find a safe harbor within our own appreciation.

Photo: Unknown