Jun 142014
 
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Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!
Hanne Blank Believes That Your Body is Already Your Best Body Ever

BY ELLE CHASE – I don’t personally know Hanne Blank, but yet this scholar and author happens to be my body image guru/super-hero. Hanne, a doyenne of the Body Acceptance Movement, and has written two books on the subjectBig, Big, Love: A Sex and Relationships Guide for People of Size (and Those Who Love Them), The Unapologetic Fat Girl’s Guide to Exercise, And Other Incendiary Acts, as well as many books of erotica.

“A survey of college students found that they would prefer
to MARRY 
an EMBEZZELER, DRUG USER, SHOPLIFTER,
or a BLIND person than someone who is FAT”¹

I have done a lot of research for my workshops, lectures, panels and talks on body acceptance, and the dearth of material that supports a positive, loving, non-shaming and totally realistic philosophy dealing with one’s body image is surprising and Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!disappointing. Hanne Blank is the only writer on body image whose book I was not only easily able to find online, but I also found almost always in stock in brick and mortar chain bookstores like Barnes & Noble. What does this mean? This means that her books are popular enough to stock and re-order.

I think her next book,  52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever will be as popular as her other two, if not more. As a woman of size, having read her previous books on body image, I believe it’s essential to proliferate Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!more respectful, intelligent, useful and supportive literature on body-image out there in the world.

In one woman’s informal experiment, it was estimated she was exposed to; 386, 170 negative messages about her body each year (and that’s without watching commercial TV). In fact, one study reports that women alone see 400-600 advertising images about physical appearance a day and, as stated by ‘Body Image and Advertising’ ³

“… by the time she is 17 years old, she has received over 250,000 commercial messages through the media. Only 9% of commercials have a direct statement about beauty, but many more implicitly emphasize the importance of beauty–particularly those that target women and girls. One study of Saturday morning toy commercials found that 50% of commercials aimed at girls spoke about physical attractiveness, while none of the commercials aimed at boys referred to appearance. Other studies found 50% of advertisements in teen girl magazines and 56% of television commercials aimed at female viewers used beauty as a product appeal. This constant exposure to female-oriented advertisements may influence girls to become self-conscious about their bodies and to obsess over their physical appearance as a measure of their worth.

The diet industry earns an estimated $40 billion dollars a year on our collective backs, hammering home that if we don’t look a certain way we are less desirable. For those of us affected by self-loathing, the negative messages we receive daily about our bodies every day from advertising alone feels like a losing battle to fight. In fact, it’s been reported, that;

“In America, overweight women suffer the preponderance of weight-based discrimination. They are not viewed as “normal human being[s] with normal needs, desires, virtues and vices” ² 

That’s not to say that men escape the mission creep self-hatred. In 2006, researchers for the University of San Francisco found that when college age men watched more than the average amount of TV and played more than the average amount of video games, they found those particular men were uncomfortable with at least one aspect of their body, which they directly correlated with having a less satisfactory sex life.

As I mentioned earlier, Hanne Blank is working on her latest book:  52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever! This is NOT a diet book. This is a book about accepting your body where it is at the moment and loving yourself NOW. Hanne Blank is raising money to fund this book project and there are only 4 DAYS LEFT with a little less than $400 to go to meet her goal. Donating to help get this book finished and in the marketplace is one of the most generous and life affirming, sex-positive, self loving acts you can perform, to encourage not just people of size, but ANYONE with a perceived body image issue they want to conquer.For me, Big, Big, Love serves as a virtual splash-of -cold-water on my face when I notice the negative self-talk nudge it’s way between the neutral and the positive, and I start to feel less worthy. NO ONE should ever feel that their worth is diminished, especially for their outward appearance. Hanne’s new book would make a huge difference to any person who is overwhelmed with self-hate, desperately looking for a book to help assuage his/her loathing. Imagine the feeling of relief someone might have (like I did) when they find this book online or on the bookshelves.

If I were fortunate enough to have the income to get Hanne Blank to her goal, I would do it without a second thought. However, because I’m not able to give financially (yet), I am asking the long-time or casual readers of this blog to donate  (if they have the capacity) whatever their budgets will allow, to help bring a book to marketplace. In a sea of “Bikini Body Workout Plan” (Seventeen) magazines and “The (insert trendy word here) Diet” books, don’t you think everyone could benefit from something to read that actually shows us that we are valuable human beings?

I’ve posted the video explanation for the IndieGoGo campaign below, but I really hope you click on the IndieGoGo site to read the full description and see how awesome this book will be. I hope you feel as grateful as I do, to have the opportunity to have a hand in bringing this book to those who need it.

To donate to the IndieGoGo campaign for

Hanne Blank’s 52 Weeks to Your Best Body Ever!

Click below:

Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!

 You can learn more about Hanne Blank and buy her books at: www.HanneBlank.com

Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously! Hanne Blank says, You have a fantastic body. Seriously!

 

 

 

Glossary:

 ¹ Maine, M. (2000) Body Wars: Making Peace With Women’s Bodies, Carlsbad: Gurze Books.

² Goodman, W. (1995) The Invisible Woman: Confronting Weight Prejudice in America, Carlsbad: Gurze Books.

³ Source: Body Image and Advertising . 2000. Issue Briefs. Studio City, Calif.: Mediascope Press. Last revision was April 25, 2000.

Jan 202014
 
 January 20, 2014  No Responses »
Jan 092014
 

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We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

– The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

– The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Nov 272013
 
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Cheeky-480x640px

Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life? Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, body-positive educator Lady Cheeky talks about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us ba

ck from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

 

The Pleasure Chest – Los Angeles
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323-650-1022
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
8:00pm – 10:00pm
FREE!!

 

Check out the other amazing workshops at the Pleasure Chest!
Twitter: @PleasureChestLA
Facebook: TPCLA

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Nov 272013
 
the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Cheeky-480x640px

Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life? Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, body-positive educator Lady Cheeky talks about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us ba

ck from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

 

The Pleasure Chest – Los Angeles
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323-650-1022
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
8:00pm – 10:00pm
FREE!!

 

Check out the other amazing workshops at the Pleasure Chest!
Twitter: @PleasureChestLA
Facebook: TPCLA

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Nov 192013
 
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This made me cheer a little in my mouth.

Burlesque Dancer, Amanda Trusty, depicts her body image journey through her art and makes us all a little bit

better for it.

On November 22, 2013, Amanda will be interviewed on The Today Show in New York City at 8am EST. Her

viral burlesque video to Katy Perry’s Roar has been featured on Huffington Post and Jezebel. Watch the powerful statement she makes (in the above YouTube video)

photo

Continue to follow Amanda’s popular blog on eating, performing, and what it’s like to live in a body controlled by the entertainment biz here: Trust Me, I’ve Been There

Oct 122013
 

tumblr_ludca9CUwQ1r2t9z1o1_500 Originally published on gasm.org on October 11, 2013

At the end of her sexless marriage, Elle Chase went on a journey to seek the one thing she never had. This is the story of what she found.

Recently, after turning 40 and leaving a sexless marriage, I had come to the sobering realization I had never experienced “passion.” In fact, I had never identified myself as a sexual being at all and furthermore, never had pleasurable sex. I ruminated over this discovery and stunned, thought “how is it possible to reach my fortieth year never enjoying sex?” The thought was staggering, “This can’t go on” I said with determination, and made it my number one goal to achieve a fully realized and satisfied sex life … fast.

But what’s a middle-aged woman to do? I was well past the age when most women experiment, I hadn’t dated in ten years and to be honest, “dating” wasn’t interesting to me … unbridled, sweaty, sticky, lustful sex was. I was overwhelmed with what it would take to reach my goal. Where do I even start? I’m not even certain what turns me on!

Thinking back to my teenage years, I remembered that the soft-core porn of the 80’s gave me a certain tickle down-under and that I had come many times to the beautiful works of Anais Nin. The boys of that time watched porn, but these venues were socially acceptable in my circle and readily discussed with my girlfriends. But, right now my sexual thirst was so great I knew these past favorites wouldn’t satisfy. I was parched after years in the desert. I needed to take out the big guns. So, I took the leap. Contrite, I logged online and looked for a tall glass of water.

The World Wide Web offered many choices; gonzo porn, amateur porn … Click HERE to go to GASM.ORG to read the rest

Jul 272013
 

By Ragen Chastain – December 30, 2012 – Originally published on www.iVillage.com

Photo source unknown

Photo source unknown

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…”

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes

While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing

The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”

Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts

We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight

You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment. 72876_493256274061159_1994948139_n

7. Using Pretend Compliments

“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines

One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines

A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian

If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

Jul 072013
 

tumblr_mhl21inH9h1r5bq2to1_500It’s so interesting to witness one’s own psyche trying to change for the better. I speak and coach on body image and sexuality and espouse that you can feel sexy and still be working on liking your body. Today was a challenging body image day for me. We all have them and I wouldn’t trust anyone who didn’t feel they weren’t their best self sometimes. But, I can see and feel the work I’m doing even sitting in a place of uncomfortable thoughts about my body. In another place and time I would’ve holed up and made certain I didn’t have to see anyone so I didn’t have to shame myself by making people view my ugliness. Today, even on a day like today, I can notice my thoughts for what they are … just thoughts … and still feel my inherent sensual self. Today, I am leaning on that sense of sensuality that I’ve worked so hard to nourish and it sustains me until I feel better. It allows me to take part in life instead of hide from it. I believe now, more than ever, that owning your sexuality and your sensuality is vital to being a confident woman these days. My sensuality just “IS.” I nourished it. I exercised it. I brought it out in the sun to grow and flourish. No one can take that away from me … not even me. :)  xo LC

Jul 072013
 

tumblr_mhl21inH9h1r5bq2to1_500It’s so interesting to witness one’s own psyche trying to change for the better. I speak and coach on body image and sexuality and espouse that you can feel sexy and still be working on liking your body. Today was a challenging body image day for me. We all have them and I wouldn’t trust anyone who didn’t feel they weren’t their best self sometimes. But, I can see and feel the work I’m doing even sitting in a place of uncomfortable thoughts about my body. In another place and time I would’ve holed up and made certain I didn’t have to see anyone so I didn’t have to shame myself by making people view my ugliness. Today, even on a day like today, I can notice my thoughts for what they are … just thoughts … and still feel my inherent sensual self. Today, I am leaning on that sense of sensuality that I’ve worked so hard to nourish and it sustains me until I feel better. It allows me to take part in life instead of hide from it. I believe now, more than ever, that owning your sexuality and your sensuality is vital to being a confident woman these days. My sensuality just “IS.” I nourished it. I exercised it. I brought it out in the sun to grow and flourish. No one can take that away from me … not even me. :)  xo LC

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