Jan 202014
 
 January 20, 2014  No Responses »
Jan 092014
 

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We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

- The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

- The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Nov 272013
 
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Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life? Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, body-positive educator Lady Cheeky talks about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us ba

ck from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

 

The Pleasure Chest – Los Angeles
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323-650-1022
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
8:00pm – 10:00pm
FREE!!

 

Check out the other amazing workshops at the Pleasure Chest!
Twitter: @PleasureChestLA
Facebook: TPCLA

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Nov 272013
 
the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Cheeky-480x640px

Who says you have to be skinny to have the best sex of your life? Whether it’s media and advertising images of “perfect” bodies or snarky comments about our weight, fat-shaming is all around us, and it can get in the way of our sexual confidence and pleasure. In this workshop, which combines lecture and discussion, body-positive educator Lady Cheeky talks about attitudes (both external and internal) that can hold us ba

ck from great sex and specific challenges we face as plus-sized lovers. You will learn skills – from communication tools to the best toys, techniques and positions – to help you embrace your sexuality and have big, beautiful sex.

 

The Pleasure Chest – Los Angeles
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323-650-1022
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
8:00pm – 10:00pm
FREE!!

 

Check out the other amazing workshops at the Pleasure Chest!
Twitter: @PleasureChestLA
Facebook: TPCLA

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

Nov 192013
 
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This made me cheer a little in my mouth.

Burlesque Dancer, Amanda Trusty, depicts her body image journey through her art and makes us all a little bit

better for it.

On November 22, 2013, Amanda will be interviewed on The Today Show in New York City at 8am EST. Her

viral burlesque video to Katy Perry’s Roar has been featured on Huffington Post and Jezebel. Watch the powerful statement she makes (in the above YouTube video)

photo

Continue to follow Amanda’s popular blog on eating, performing, and what it’s like to live in a body controlled by the entertainment biz here: Trust Me, I’ve Been There

Oct 122013
 

tumblr_ludca9CUwQ1r2t9z1o1_500 Originally published on gasm.org on October 11, 2013

At the end of her sexless marriage, Elle Chase went on a journey to seek the one thing she never had. This is the story of what she found.

Recently, after turning 40 and leaving a sexless marriage, I had come to the sobering realization I had never experienced “passion.” In fact, I had never identified myself as a sexual being at all and furthermore, never had pleasurable sex. I ruminated over this discovery and stunned, thought “how is it possible to reach my fortieth year never enjoying sex?” The thought was staggering, “This can’t go on” I said with determination, and made it my number one goal to achieve a fully realized and satisfied sex life … fast.

But what’s a middle-aged woman to do? I was well past the age when most women experiment, I hadn’t dated in ten years and to be honest, “dating” wasn’t interesting to me … unbridled, sweaty, sticky, lustful sex was. I was overwhelmed with what it would take to reach my goal. Where do I even start? I’m not even certain what turns me on!

Thinking back to my teenage years, I remembered that the soft-core porn of the 80’s gave me a certain tickle down-under and that I had come many times to the beautiful works of Anais Nin. The boys of that time watched porn, but these venues were socially acceptable in my circle and readily discussed with my girlfriends. But, right now my sexual thirst was so great I knew these past favorites wouldn’t satisfy. I was parched after years in the desert. I needed to take out the big guns. So, I took the leap. Contrite, I logged online and looked for a tall glass of water.

The World Wide Web offered many choices; gonzo porn, amateur porn … Click HERE to go to GASM.ORG to read the rest

Jul 272013
 

By Ragen Chastain – December 30, 2012 – Originally published on www.iVillage.com

Photo source unknown

Photo source unknown

1. Saying Things Like, “She Would Be So Pretty If…”

Have you ever uttered anything along the lines of, “But she has such a gorgeous face” or “She would be more beautiful if she put on a few pounds?” You are limiting your idea of beauty to a cultural stereotype. Beauty is not conditional. If you can’t say anything nice, maybe it’s time to learn how.

2. Judging Other People’s Clothes

While it’s fine for you to choose clothes any way you want, nobody else is required to adhere to your style.The person wearing that outfit is, in fact, pulling it off, even if you think she’s too flat chested, big chested, short, tall, fat or thin. And fat people don’t have to confine themselves to dark colors and vertical stripes, no matter who prefers it. And spandex? It’s a right, not a privilege.

3. Making It an ‘Us vs. Them’ Thing

The phrase “Real Women Have Curves” is highly problematic. Developed as a response to the tremendous body shaming that fat women face, it still amounts to doing the same thing in the opposite direction. The road to high self-esteem is probably not paved with hypocrisy. Equally problematic is the phrase “boyish figure” as if a lack of curves makes us somehow less womanly. The idea that there is only so much beauty, only so much self-esteem to go around is a lie. Real women come in all shapes and sizes, no curves required.

4. Avoiding the Word “Fat”

Dancing around the word fat is an insinuation that it’s so horrible that it can’t even be said. The only thing worse than calling fat people “big boned” or “fluffy” is using euphemisms that suggest body size indicates the state of our health or whether we take care of ourselves. As part of a resolution to end body shaming, try nixing phrases like “she looks healthy,” or “she looks like she is taking care of herself,” and “she looks like she is starving” when what you actually mean is a woman is thin.

5. Making Up Body Parts

We could all lead very full lives if we never heard the words cankles, muffin top, apple shaped, pear shaped or apple butt ever again. We are not food.

6. Congratulating People for Losing Weight

You don’t know a person’s circumstances. Maybe she lost weight because of an illness. You also don’t know if she’ll gain the weight back (about 95 percent of people do), in which case earlier praise might feel like criticism. If someone points out that a person has lost weight, consider adding something like, “You’ve always been beautiful. I’m happy if you are happy.” But if a person doesn’t mention her weight loss, then you shouldn’t mention it either. Think of something else you can compliment. 72876_493256274061159_1994948139_n

7. Using Pretend Compliments

“You’re really brave to wear that.” By the way, wearing a sleeveless top or bikini does not take bravery. “You’re not fat, you’re beautiful.” These things are not mutually exclusive — a person can be fat and beautiful. “You can afford to eat that, you’re thin.” You don’t know if someone has an eating disorder or something else; there is no need to comment on someone’s body or food intake. “You’re not that fat” or “You’re not fat, you workout,” need to be struck from your vocabulary. Suggesting that looking fat is a bad thing is also insulting, so also out the door are, “Does this make me look fat?” and “I look so fat!” when you are a size 2.

8. Thinking of Women as Baby-Making Machines

One of my readers mentioned that her gynecologist called her “good breeding stock.” Also awful: “baby making hips.” Worst of all is when people ask fat people when they are due. As has famously been said, unless you can see the baby crowning, do not assume that someone is pregnant.

9. Sticking Your Nose in Other People’s Exercise Routines

A subtle form of body shaming occurs when people make assumptions or suggestions about someone’s exercise habits based on their size. Don’t ask a fat person, “Have you tried walking?” Don’t tell a thin person, “You must spend all day in the gym.” I have had people at the gym congratulate me for starting a workout program when, in fact, I started working out at age 12 and never stopped. I had a thin friend who started a weight-lifting program and someone said to her, “Be careful, you don’t want to bulk up.” How about not completely over-stepping your boundaries and being rude and inappropriate?

10. Playing Dietitian

If you have no idea how much a person eats or exercises, you shouldn’t tell her to eat less and move more or suggest she put more meat on her bones. (Even if you do know what she eats, don’t do it). How do you know she’s looking for nutritional advice from you or the newest weight-loss tip you saw on Dr. Oz?

Jul 072013
 

tumblr_mhl21inH9h1r5bq2to1_500It’s so interesting to witness one’s own psyche trying to change for the better. I speak and coach on body image and sexuality and espouse that you can feel sexy and still be working on liking your body. Today was a challenging body image day for me. We all have them and I wouldn’t trust anyone who didn’t feel they weren’t their best self sometimes. But, I can see and feel the work I’m doing even sitting in a place of uncomfortable thoughts about my body. In another place and time I would’ve holed up and made certain I didn’t have to see anyone so I didn’t have to shame myself by making people view my ugliness. Today, even on a day like today, I can notice my thoughts for what they are … just thoughts … and still feel my inherent sensual self. Today, I am leaning on that sense of sensuality that I’ve worked so hard to nourish and it sustains me until I feel better. It allows me to take part in life instead of hide from it. I believe now, more than ever, that owning your sexuality and your sensuality is vital to being a confident woman these days. My sensuality just “IS.” I nourished it. I exercised it. I brought it out in the sun to grow and flourish. No one can take that away from me … not even me. :)  xo LC

Jul 072013
 

tumblr_mhl21inH9h1r5bq2to1_500It’s so interesting to witness one’s own psyche trying to change for the better. I speak and coach on body image and sexuality and espouse that you can feel sexy and still be working on liking your body. Today was a challenging body image day for me. We all have them and I wouldn’t trust anyone who didn’t feel they weren’t their best self sometimes. But, I can see and feel the work I’m doing even sitting in a place of uncomfortable thoughts about my body. In another place and time I would’ve holed up and made certain I didn’t have to see anyone so I didn’t have to shame myself by making people view my ugliness. Today, even on a day like today, I can notice my thoughts for what they are … just thoughts … and still feel my inherent sensual self. Today, I am leaning on that sense of sensuality that I’ve worked so hard to nourish and it sustains me until I feel better. It allows me to take part in life instead of hide from it. I believe now, more than ever, that owning your sexuality and your sensuality is vital to being a confident woman these days. My sensuality just “IS.” I nourished it. I exercised it. I brought it out in the sun to grow and flourish. No one can take that away from me … not even me. :)  xo LC

Jul 012013
 

 

How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?

By speaking out, as truthfully as I can about my own experience uncovering, indulging and ultimately integrating my sensuality. I hope I can encourage other women to explore, embark on or continue that journey, especially women over 40 and women with body image concerns.

Who or what was a catalyst for you?

Oddly enough, the TV show ‘True Blood.’ By watching it during the end of my marriage it sparked a realization in me, that I craved, needed and deserved to experience passion in my life. I owe it all to Bill and Sookie!

What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in the field of sexuality right now?

One of the biggest challenges we’re facing is helping people understand that women’s

Photo by Gene Reed

Photo by Gene Reed

sexuality and sensuality is just as vibrant, prevalent and vital as our male counterparts. Women enjoy and want to experience great sex just as much as men do … and often! We aren’t the

mercurial creatures that science and the media might make us believe. Our (women’s) sexuality is rich and sensual and absolutely nothing to be guarded or ashamed of. My greatest wish is for women of all ages is to realize, that their sexuality and their sensuality is to be celebrated and expressed, not ignored, shamed or diminished.

What do you feel are some of the most important/valuable positive changes that have been made in the world of sexuality in the past year?

This has been an interesting year for sexuality. I think the “Mission Creep” of sustained messages, like Dan Savage’s reiteration in his column and his new book about how we might re-think monogamy as the “ideal” monotheistic norm is important. His stance of a more flexible idea of what a successful partnership can look like is a powerful and crucial discussion to keep having. Although this idea is not newly proselytized by him, the release of his new book this year brought the topic to the fore in interviews and reviews, giving society another “booster shot” to start thinking of new paradigms when it comes to the choice of monogamy.

Also Tristan Taormino reviving the question “why feminist porn?” and the popularity of her book ‘The Feminist Porn Book.’ The book and Tristan has had a main stream cultural impact, making the need for feminist porn and the humanist idea behind it, more a part of the social conscience. “Feminist Porn” is more a part of the zeitgeist than ever before and I think we owe that to Tristan Taormino. I mean it was even mentioned on SNL!

Most recently though, I don’t think we can ignore the potential impact of Daniel Bergner’s research and ensuing book on female sexuality. Because it’s been getting a lot of press, it may help to drive home the fact that ‘What Women Want’ is sex and a lot of it!

Why do you feel it is important to bring the topic of your session, Does This Panel Make Me Look Fat?: Body Image and Sexuality, to CatalystCon West?

for the rest … CLICK HERE

 

What is CatalystCon?

CatalystCon is a conference created to inspire exceptional conversations about sexuality. It is about reaching out and stimulating those who attend to create those important conversations in their own communities, changing how we as a society talk and treat sexuality.  It is about stimulating the activist that is within all of us and sparking transformation in the way our friends, neighbors, children and even politicians discuss one of the most important aspects of humanity.

Dee Dennis regards this conference as a “melting pot of sexuality” that will unite sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. “Knowledge is power, and sharing that knowledge is the first spark in igniting change.” This is the fundamental principle behind CatalystCon.  To get your tickets for CatalystCon West , Click HERE

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