Feb 242014

Emergency Contraception: Know the Facts  by Elle Chase 1






Last year, Emergency Contraceptive Pills otherwise known as “The Morning After Pill” was approved by the FDA for over the counter (OTC) sales beginning in August 2013. Since then, there has been some confusion as to how to get it and who can get it in different states. In fact, one state, Oklahoma this over the counter policy has been blocked pending the outcome of litigation. So try not to forget to take your pill in Oklahoma.

How is a responsible vagina owner supposed to know what the policy is in her state? There’s conflicting information even with the most specific of Google searches and a difference of opinion among pharmacists that I‘ve asked over the last six months. It’s been very confusing to say the least.

Thank goodness for The Guttmacher Institute whose mission statement is all about promoting reproductive health.

In their latest brief released this month, The Guttmacher Institute provides s a grid of 35+states Emergency Contraception policy. Regardless, if you are in need of Emergency Contraception and you’re under 17 years of age, make sure you call your pharmacy ahead of time to make certain they have Plan B One Step in stock and to find out their age restrictions (if applicable).

So, what if your best friend was in need of Emergency Contraception (EC) or “back-up birth control” would you know what to tell her? Would you know what kind to advise her to get and which is the most appropriate in her circumstance? EC can be a confusing maze to navigate, I’m going to try and break it down as best I can:

First, a few things you might want to be aware of:

1) Emergency Contraceptive Pills (ECP’s) can be purchased and used by people across the gender spectrum as people who don’t identify as female may still be able to get pregnant.
2) If you think you may already be pregnant, ECP’s, will not terminate the pregnancy nor has it been shown that taking an ECP would harm the fetus.
3) Even after taking an ECP you CAN get pregnant. If you have unprotected sex right away, use another method, like a condom, just in case.
4) Some people can have certain side effects like nausea, cramps, headache, etc.
5) Your next period may come sooner or later than expected
6) Some medications and/or alternative medicinal supplements may interfere with the effectiveness of not only your regular birth control pill, but your ECP.
7) The sooner you take an ECP the better they work.


1) Emergency Contraceptives are NOT meant to be birth control. EC’s should not be used in place of standard birth control methods and ONLY as a back up incase you forget your daily pill, forget to insert your ring, the condom breaks, etc.

2) Emergency Contraceptives are NOT the same thing as the “abortion pill.” Emergency Contraceptives work by delaying ovulation. The “Abortion Pill” or RU-486, otherwise known as the brand Mifeprex works by literally terminating an early pregnancy.

3) EC’s will NOT protect you from HIV/AIDS or STI’s. End of story. Always use a barrier method such as a male or female condom if you want to protect yourself from infection.

Now that  that’s out of the way, let’s get to the good stuff. Here’s a some basic  information that might make choosing what kind of Emergency Contraception works best for you (or your best friend), easier. Of course, don’t take my word for it always read the full directions and contraindications that come with any medicine to make certain that the drug is safe for you:

NAME: Plan-B One Step – Emergency Contraception PillEmergency Contraception: Know the Facts  by Elle Chase 2
Over the counter without a prescription or proof of age*
Levongestrel/Progestin based meds

WHAT IS IT?: Levongestrel is the effective ingredient in this ECP. It works by suppressing ovulation and therefore inhibiting fertilization.  Plan B-One Step is the only form of ECP that is currently available for sale to anyone, regardless of age or gender over the counter at a pharmacy without a prescription.  There are generic options, Next Choice, My Way, One Dose, Postinor (which will soon be available at your pharmacy) but these are currently only available from your doctor, clinic or other health care provider and only if you are 17 years old or older.*

If your pharmacy or health care provider gives you ECP’s which contain 2 pills (usually Next Choice or even an older version of Plan B), take both pills together. The Association of Reproductive Health Professionals (ARHP) recommends that you take the pills immediately and at the same. This method has been proven safe and effective by the ARHP and numerous studies.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: You need to take this within 3 days/72 hours of unprotected sex. In fact the sooner you take it, the more effective it is, as each day you wait the potentcy declines. Taking Plan B et al after 3 days/ 72 hours, the product cannot be guaranteed to work effectively (although it has been known to work for up to 120 hours/5 days).

If you have a BMI of 25 or over, or weigh more than 155- 165 lbs, this may not the Emergency Contraceptive for you. Recent studies done in Europe have shown that the efficacy of the pill wanes for women beyond this measurement, in fact it the risk of pregnancy is three times greater than with women under a BMI of 25, which sucks, because about half of the fertile women in the U.S. fall into this range.

Used as instructed Plan B and other Levongesterel based ECP’s have an 88% effective rate.


Emergency Contraception: Know the Facts  by Elle Chase 3

NAME: ella – Emergency Contraception WITH a Prescription
AVAILABLE: With a prescription. Prescription and purchase can be done on the ella site.
KIND: ulipristal acetateprogesterone receptor

WHAT IS IT?: You do need a prescription for ella, but that is relatively easy to get from a health care provider, Planned Parenthood or even ella’s own website.  KwikMed.(which ella’s website will direct you to) will allow people

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW: You do not need to show proof of any age to get a prescription from one of their doctors online, and overnight ella to you.  ella is the only ECP that is approved to be taken up to 5 days after unprotected sex, and it’s effectiveness is the same on the fifth day as it is on the first.  This is great news, as sperm can live up to 5 days inside the body. ella is also considered to be more effective than the over the counter Plan B One Step or Levongestrel ECP’s.

ella does have a weight/BMI warning and though it’s a little more forgiving than other ECP’s. For ella to be effective you must not have a BMI over 35  or have a weight (approx.165 lbs or more). If you weigh over 175 lbs. contraceptive efficacy is reduced if you weigh 165 or more and was not effective in women weighing 176 or more.

Emergency Contraception: Know the Facts  by Elle Chase 4

NAME: The Yuzpe Method (Combined Birth Control Pill Method)
Prescription from healthcare provider
Progestin & Estrogen

The Yuzpe Method is taking a combination of certain monthly birth control pills in specific amounts and in a specific order. This method can be up to 75% effective, if taken as instructed within 72 hours of unprotected sex. You need to see your healthcare provider before you try this one, as only certain birth control pills are viable for emergency contraception.


You will need to use a back-up method, like condoms to guard yourself against pregnancy, especially if your usual method of birth control is the pill.


Emergency Contraception: Know the Facts  by Elle Chase 5NAME: Paragard Copper IUD (Intrauterine Device)
Must be inserted by a Medical Provider 
Copper Intrauterine Device (non-hormonal)

WHAT IS IT?  Paragard, is a  copper IUD (intrauterine device) which does not contain any hormones.  Paragard is, by far, the most effective option for anyone who needs Emergency Contraception, or as a regular means of contraception regardless of weight. The copper IUD  99-100% effective—meaning it prevents at least 99 out of 100 pregnancies that normally would have occurred. Paragard it can be inserted up to 5 days after unprotected sex with the same effectiveness on Day 5 as on Day 1. No other IUD on the market works as Emergency Contraception – Mirena and Skyla, cannot be used as an emergency contraceptive. ParaGard is the only copper IUD available in the U.S. and prevents pregnancy for up to 10-12 years after insertion.

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW:  Some women experience cramping, heavy and longer periods and have spotting in between periods after the IUD is inserted, but for most women, this usually goes away within 2-3 months as your body adjusts to the IUD. It’s important to note, that other hormone containing IUD’s, like Skyla & Mirena cannot be used for emergency contraception. Also, something to consider with the copper IUD is that some women report that their periods have a slightly heavier flow than they’re used to and that cramping can be more pronounced than before.

Women who might not be a candidate for an IUD would be women who are allergic to copper, women  with abnormalities of the uterine cavity (ie; T-shaed uterus), inflammation/infection of the pelvis or cervix, some types of endometriosis or a rare disorder called Wilson’s disease that stops the body from getting rid of copper. However, you should always check with your medical provider if you have any concerns about your candidacy for an IUD. When getting your IUD inserted, ask your doctor if he/she will be using an analgesic to ease the discomfort, if not you can certainly askParaguard does not stop your period. In fact it can give you longer periods. However, it’s the perfect choice for women who are sensitive to hormones, who want sexual spontenaity, women who want their natural menstrual cycle and it’s a birth control method that is easily reversible.

*** If you’re a trans man who takes hormones, you should talk with your doctor and see what they recommend when it comes to taking emergency contraception. Unfortunately, right now there isn’t enough research that tells us how hormonal EC will affect you, so your best choice may be the non-hormonal ParaGard IUD.

More on Emergency Contraception:

Bedsider has an EC search with locations providing EC if you’re not sure where to get it in your area.

New rules for Emergency Contraception: CLICK HERE

To find out where to get contraception, CLICK HERE

* This chart from the Guttmacher Institute shows what most individual states allow regarding OTC sale of Emergency Contraceptives CLICK HERE

To see a video on how ECPs work, see below:



Not 2 Late:  www.not-2-late.com

Most recent published paper on Emergency Contraception by Princeton: http://ec.princeton.edu/questions/ec-review.pdf

Planned Parenthood – Weight and EC:

Healthcare in Our Hands: http://ecotc.tumblr.com

FDA Data on ellahttp://www.accessdata.fda.gov/drugsatfda_docs/label/2012/022474s002lbl.pdf

Guttmacher Institute on EC as of 2/14: http://www.guttmacher.org/statecenter/spibs/spib_EC.pdf

Bedsider.org on EC:   http://bedsider.org/methods/emergency_contraception#alternatives_tab

Quick YouTube video from AsapSCIENCE:






Jan 172014


I happen to live in Los Angeles where being over a size 8 is a felony. This can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the ‘norm’ a size 2. At those times I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14 and that a size 2 is more an aberration than the norm. However, it’s disappointing to note that at size 14, those average women are also considered “plus size”, labeling them in a category that, in this media ridden age, might send a woman’s ego to the back of the proverbial bus. This size stereotyping (especially in metropolitan cities like Los Angeles and New York City) can compound the list of reasons why single “plus size” woman are intimidated by dating and sex.

I have found that a lot of my single friends complain they can’t find a nice guy or even a good lover. When I suggest online dating, taking a class or going to events to meet a guy, I almost universally hear “maybe when I lose some weight” as the first excuse not to engage. It seems that no matter what we look like, women are always first to dissuade themselves from dating by knocking their perceived physical shortcomings. This kind of dysmorphic thinking doesn’t discriminate it seems, women of all shapes and sizes do it. Though being a “plus sized” woman has its challenges, dating shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, as a plus sized woman myself, I had to get past my own mental lambasting and take a leap of faith, even though at the time I still hated my body. It’s not easy to do but it IS possible.

When I made the decision to start dating again after my divorce, I had to examine my history with my body image. My whole teen and adult life I was lead to believe, through society, other women and some really immature boys, that my body was “less than” because it had more lumps, bumps and curves than the women portrayed in television, film, advertising, fashion magazines (including Seventeen magazine which can be horribly destructive to a young woman’s ego) and the like. Add to that the unconscious conditioning I received from my well-meaning mother and I was set up to fail.

I thought about all the women this kind of conditioning affects, as most women do not have “perfect” bodies and have even less perfect body images. It was interesting to me that regardless of size, all the women I knew loathed portions, if not all of their bodies. Not only does this affect quality of life in general, it substantially affects a healthy sex life. So what can we, as women, do to begin to accept the parts of us that we have heretofore shamed ourselves into hating?

Rebecca Jane Weinstein, Lawyer, Social Worker and Author, was told by her grandmother at nine years old that no man would ever love her because she was fat. So started Ms. Weinstein on her journey of figuring out her womanhood on her own. She relates her pilgrimage to satisfying sex in her book Fat Sex: The Naked Truth.  I asked Ms. Weinstein what her advice would be to plus-sized women who are trying to feel more confident sexually. Here is her answer:

“In interviewing the many large sized women I have about body image and sexuality, I have found a common thread.  When a woman feels sexy, she projects sexy, and men (or other women) find her sexy.  This seems almost simplistic, and it is, in a sense.  Perception is everything, particularly self-perception.  What is not simplistic is coming to that realization and then internalizing those feelings.  Women seem to find that place in themselves two ways.  First is personality.  Some of us are just lucky to have an inner core of confidence that has no clear genesis.  It just exists.  But even women who aren’t so lucky to be somehow born with the “I feel sexy” gene, seem to be able to learn to feel sexy.  The key is listening and believing when you are told you are attractive and that someone is attracted to you.  So often we are told such a thing, and every available evidence supports it (like there is a person lying next to us in a bed), and yet we don’t believe it.  We must overcome that disbelief.  It is not easy when all the societal messages tell us fat is not sexy.  But those messages come from disreputable sources – mostly people trying to sell us stuff.  They want us to feel badly about ourselves so we will buy diets and cosmetics and clothing and medical procedures.  Those people are liars.  The ones telling us the truth are sharing our beds and our hearts.  It is them we must believe.  And the truth is, even if there is no one giving those positive messages, telling ourselves works too.  When you feel sexy, you project sexy, and others find you sexy.  It’s not so important how you tumblr_mfma65kGMu1rrgft7o1_500get there, but that you get there.”

She’s right.

I had a lover once with whom I had some of the most erotic, connected, exciting and sensual sex of my life (some of our exploits are detailed on my erotica site www.smutforsmarties.com) and I was considered plus-sized at the time. Though I felt confident that he wanted me, I still didn’t feel comfortable in my body. Still, before our first tryst I panicked about how he would react to actually seeing me naked.  Would he still want me when he saw my overflowing stomach and flabby thighs? I was terrified.

When we first got together I was so ashamed of my physique that I kept my nightie on thinking “maybe he won’t notice my fat.” Though, in contrast to what the little devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear (“you’re disgusting,” “you should be ashamed to think he wants you”,) my lover couldn’t have been more effusive and complimentary about how seduced he was by my body. He continued to sincerely voice how attracted to me he was, yet I kept that nightie on for two months until I “believed” he was really yearning for me. What in the world did he have to do to get me to believe him? The answer is “nothing.” The issue was with me and my own narrative about my body. I used the shame and the humiliation I took on from others’ opinions about body size during my childhood and young womanhood to inform my ability to receive full pleasure in the moment. What a shame.

Later on in our relationship, figuring a bigger gal was his bag, I brought up the subject of a woman’s body type and asked him if he had always been attracted to plus-sized women. For me, his answer was revolutionary. My lover explained that body shape or size had nothing at all to do with his attraction to a woman. To him, a woman’s physical appeal (among other things like chemistry, personality, intelligence, etc.) was based on how sexual/sensual the woman was. He continued, that when a woman felt she was a sensual being and was confident about her sexuality, that it drove him wild. “I could be lying in bed with a supermodel but if she didn’t own her own sexuality I would be completely limp,” he said. Furthermore, the men he knew in his life felt the same way. He continued by saying that those same men were often frustrated with the fact that women in general don’t own their bodies and often let it get in the way of “letting go and enjoying the moment.”  Again, revolutionary to me. I thought back to when I was praying he wouldn’t notice my fat and thought “Wow. If I were just able to let go and take in that he was having sex with me because he WANTED to and was ATTRACTED to me, I would have enjoyed myself so much more.”  The change needed to start with me.  I needed to give myself a break. If it was true that he found me physically attractive then it was equally true that other men would as well. It was clear, I needed to start accepting my body as is, otherwise I would be living a lonely existence waiting for the day I would be happy with my body and that day will never come. This was evidenced by my smaller framed friends who had a litany of complaints about why men wouldn’t find them attractive. Again, the unrealistic body dysmorphia rears its ugly head no matter WHAT you look like.

Pamela Madsen, who wrote the book Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner says “If you work on embracing who you are – every single day just like a religious practice – things will change in your world.” I completely agree. No more negative self-talk ever.

So here’s the deal I’m not going to tell you to look in the mirror and say affirmations that you’re beautiful and sexy or tell yourself “I love you the way you are;” that’s too big a jump. What I AM telling you is that if you can’t muster up something nice to think about yourself, at least say something factual and neutral like,  “this is the way I look and that’s that.” It’s accurate and at the same time makes you accept yourself the way you are. Once you have that under your belt move on up to “I look pretty good today” etc, but wait until you believe it.  The point being, you are never to put yourself down. And if you can’t compliment yourself, then at least say something objective, something you can believe.

The next step would be to start to become more comfortable in your body sexually as it is right now. Whether you’re plus-sized or not, I highly recommend you read the aforementioned book  Fat Sex: The Naked Truth by Rebecca Jane Weinstein. She’s plus sized, smart and has the experiences to back up what she preaches. Her book will feed you stories of women (and men) who feel the same or worse about their bodies and will inspire you.  Reading the stories of how others achieved their positive body image and started enjoying sex will help you get used to the notion that there are other people out there (perhaps even larger than you are) that have found their inner sex gods and goddesses.

There are also a plethora of body image and sex positive websites at your fingertips. One of my favorites is Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ website www.dodsonandross.com that has a wonderful DVD called Bodysex Workshop. This DVD teaches women not only how to feel good about their sexuality but shows REAL women with REAL bodies “taking care of business” (if you know what I mean.)  Other validating websites to check out: I Feel Myself http://www.Ifeelmyself.com which feature women from all over the world masturbating to orgasm. It’s liberating watching women of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds enjoying the sexual pleasure that is their right. Pamela Madsen’s blog Being Shamelesswww.beingshameless.com offers Pamela’s words of wisdom on the spiritually based “sacred sexuality movement” and body image.

tumblr_m5asknvCUc1qeuufeo1_500If you are feeling frisky, even the porn world has something to offer. The multitude of amateur porn online also affords us the opportunity to watch women who look like us engaging in hot sex.  There are even porn sites dedicated to plus sized nude models like (my favorite) London Andrews and very popular plus sized porn star Kelly Shibari. There’s also “feminist porn” (also known as women’s porn or couples porn) brought to us by pioneers in the field like Candida RoyalleErika Lust and Tristan Taormino. This type of porn is made by women for women (and men) who enjoy a more sensual story and a focus on the woman’s pleasure as well as the man’s. Checking out this kind of porn might make you feel more a part of “the club” than traditional porn where the focus is mainly on the man’s gratification while they screw thin women with fake boobs (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that).

Poor body image doesn’t doesn’t have to be debilitating. Your sexuality is part of who you are as a woman and human being and the plus sized woman should take steps to start empowering herself as an erotic, sexual being every woman should, really. If we can divorce our self-loathing (while we work on it, of course) from our sensual selves, then dating or sexual expression doesn’t have to be tied into body image and as a result, we can work on accepting ourselves while at the same time experiencing sexual pleasure.

Since I have accepted my body “as is,” not only have I had no problem finding men that find my me and my body sexy but I’ve been allowing myself to have some of the best sex of my life. I have come to understand and believe that sexual pleasure is not just meant for the “beautiful” and the “hard-bodied,” it’s a natural enjoyment that is your right as a human being. So take back that right. Ignore the messages from people, agencies and corporations trying to make you feel “less than” and take back control of what is inherently yours.


© Copyright 2014 Elle Chase/Lady Cheeky All rights Reserved. Written For:www.EvolvedWorld.com, Sept. 2012

Jan 172014

Maggie Mayhem

This list and it’s original title “50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex” originally appeared on www.MissMaggieMayhem.com on November 8, 2013.  If you don’t know who Maggie Mayhem is, you should – in my opinion she is one of the great minds of the sex-positive movement. I loved this list so much I wanted to share it with you. Read them.  Print them. Memorize them. Share them with everyone you know and visit her site and her Tumblr often.  So, with permission from Miss Mayhem here is a re-print of “50 Things I’ve been Meaning to Say About Sex. by Maggie Mayhem”   xo LC




  1. There is no easy set of steps for giving or receiving pleasure.
  2. There is no finish line.
  3. Your triumphs and your traumas will impact your sexuality.
  4. Sex itself can be a source of triumph and trauma.
  5. Hydration really does make a difference.
  6. There will be plot twists.
  7. Your sexual preferences may not match your needs or opportunities for pleasure.
  8. Sometimes the most skillful application of touch won’t do what a single caress or glance from someone you are centered upon can do.
  9. It’s more than active or passive. You can be actively-passive and passively-active in sex.
  10. You may summon something you weren’t prepared to receive.
  11. You will experience cognitive dissonance.
  12. You are more beautiful than you know.
  13. You are not entitled to your partner’s sexual backstory. It’s their choice to share.
  14. It’s fucked up to make someone feel bad about their body and how it works.
  15. Take time to breathe.
  16. Sometimes you will be terrified.
  17. Humans have sex for reasons that include but are not limited to pleasure or procreation.
  18. Be prepared for fluids.
  19. You will shed many sexual skins over your lifetime.
  20. Blood sugar really makes a difference.
  21. Using sex as a weapon is when you unilaterally commandeer someone’s body for your use, not when you are soliciting sexual attraction.
  22. Feeling fascinated or attracted to someone does not entitle you to their time and attention.
  23. Things may not meet expectations.
  24. Orgasms are just one piece.
  25. No one else is an authority on your sexuality.
  26. Sometimes you will be confused.
  27. Sometimes you will find ecstasy in the orgiastic, sometimes in the ascetic.
  28. The power of sex to hurt and to heal demands our respect.
  29. Sex is more than what we will ever say about it.
  30. There is no default state of sexual consciousness.
  31. You will find times when words will utterly fail you.
  32. What your body does may not be congruous with your desire.
  33. Context is key.
  34. Sex can be both a source of empowerment and dis-empowerment.
  35. The experience of another may offer wisdom or perspective but it might not be applicable to your life.
  36. An orgasm does not always mean pleasure.
  37. You may run into people who treat you as an inferior version of their projection of you.
  38. There are many different motivations to have sex.
  39. Implemental sex is neither greater nor lesser than non-implemental sex.
  40. The hottest thing in the world might not turn you on anymore.
  41. The value placed upon any given sex act or object is relational rather than intrinsic.
  42. Random causes should not be confused with essential facts.
  43. Your props of sexual summoning will change over time.
  44. Sexual union on non-physical planes exists.
  45. No element of sex is compulsory.
  46. Consciously changing your breathing patterns will change your experience of sex.
  47. Sex can be an instrument of knowing.
  48. Sexual definitions will fail to contain their referents.
  49. There’s really no such thing as an expert on sex.
  50. I don’t endorse everything I’ve said or thought about sex, not even this list.



Jan 092014


We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

– The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

– The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.


To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Dec 112013

Originally published on 12/4/13  sabrinamorgan.tumblr.com

We have a real problem with our sex educators and writers getting booted off of sites like Facebook and LinkedIn, and having their funds frozen by processors like PayPal, because of these companies’ refusal to touch the erotic. Specifically, perceived status as a (current or former, as PayPal clarified to me in a phone call) sex worker or association with erotic materials (such as an erotica Tumblr; let’s not even start on porn) is license to shut down our educators.

This is being unevenly applied. If you’re a male sex educator, or are commonly read as masculine, you are less likely to have this issue because of the false assumption that men aren’t sex workers. (Male sex educators and sex workers still have this issue, to be clear.) If you’re a female sex educator, or are perceived as one, you are more likely to be assumed to be a sex worker.

If you’ve thought that working strictly as a sex educator meant that sex worker stigma wasn’t your issue, let this be a wake-up call. Unless we take pleasure out of sex education – which is a losing game – we will keep having our platforms knocked out from under us due not only to discomfort with sex, but discomfort with the erotic pleasure principle, and with the possibility of sex work.

Educators such as Nina Hartley, Buck Angel, and Jessica Drake use porn as a platform to reach many who might not otherwise seek out sex and pleasure education. Lots of sex educators have backgrounds in the erotic professions that inform their work as sex educators. When we’re too scared to defend sex work, because it’s not our battle, because there’s a legal gray area we’re scared to touch, we’re saying it’s okay to let the sex workers – our front-line sex educators – take the bullets as long as we get to play the game. And we get to play the game only as long as we play it safe.

Playing it safe means being afraid to show what it is that we’re teaching. Playing it safe means we can’t make our material too erotic or explicit or we’ll lose our billing. Playing it safe means knowing our client needs to see a sex worker but being afraid to make the referral because of what it might mean for us professionally.

We all do it. And we can all be braver. Because it is our fight. Sex work is under assault because it’s both sex and work. When we work in sex, however we work in sex, we brush up against that stigma. If we want sex to be taken seriously on our watch, we have to commit to standing up for access to sex education and health, for pleasure, and for treating all of the sexual professions with respect.

images-2Sabrina Morgan is a sex worker’s rights advocate as well as a sex educator and relationship coach. Fascinated with the places where society and sexuality intersect, she began practicing kink-focused work in 2005 and has been speaking and presenting workshops on dating, sexuality, and the intersection of sex, gender, and human rights issues since 2009.

Her work as a professional switch allowed her to work with others’ sexuality in a very personal way, giving her a deft sensitivity to the needs of those exploring new facets of their sexual selves and an understanding of the importance of sex and relationship education for adults.

A firm believer in continuing education for all adults exploring sex and relationships, she has presented at SXSW, the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit 2013, Toronto’s Playground Conference 2012 & 2013, CatalystCon East and West 2012 & 2013, Momentum 2011 & 2012, BIL 2012, the San Francisco Sex Worker Fest, and Sex 2.0 2009 & 2010. She offers group workshops, distance classes, and has shot educational videos for both Kink Academy and Passionate U.

Individual and couples’ coaching is available through her site.

Dec 012013

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 – Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition


He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said – Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post




Dec 012013

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 – Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition


He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said – Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post




Sep 302013

Scientists-Reveal-Average-Penis-Size-In-Recent-Studyby Melissa White       (originally posted in Huffington Post Women on 09/26/2013 5:55 pm)
Condom Expert, CEO & Founder of Lucky Bloke

(Check out my quote in this article!)

It truly is all about the size of the package — but not in the way that you might think.

It’s time to take a stand: regarding penis size, and what it means to be a sexually desirable man.

A large penis doesn’t make a man a great kisser, fill him with sensuality and passion, make his partner feel loved or safe – nor guarantee that he is a remotely competent lover.

It’s often ignored that the largest sex organ we have is our brain. The brain, which it happens, is also bombarded with distorted messaging on what makes a man, a man.

And it starts at an increasingly early age. The way men and their bodies are portrayed in mass media deeply affects their lives.

There are over a million men in the U.S. with serious eating disorders. Perhaps more revealing, is a figure from a recent UK study, which found 1 out of 3 men would sacrifice a year of their life in exchange for their ideal body.

I began speaking to men in my circle, as well as to Lucky Bloke customers, about these findings, and then took it to Facebook:

“Gentlemen, how many years would you be willing to sacrifice, in exchange for your ideal body? How many for your ideal penis?”

The responses given indicated …

To read the rest, click HERE

Aug 202013


This entry was posted in Sex-education-al! on July 17, 2013 by one of my favorites sex blogs
Sex-ational! Follow them for more fantastic information on all things sex-ed!

This is a “why you should care” post as well as a resource- if you scroll down, there are actually lists of manufacturers I trust and what sorts of products they have listed and explained. Please feel free to use this guide to inform your choice for your next sex toy, and also feel free to ask me questions about anything mentioned in this post.

Anyone who pays attention knows that the adult industry isn’t regulated and companies can do essentially anything they want. If you haven’t been paying attention: the adult industry isn’t regulated, and companies can do essentially whatever they want. What this means is that companies can use materials that may or may not be incredibly bad for your health1. They can use ingredients that may be damaging tissues in some of the most sensitive parts of your body2. They can lie about the materials they use or what a product is even for, and they can tell sell you a product as doing something that, design wise, it is just not meant for3.

Thankfully, there are more and more manufacturers, retailers, individuals, sex educators, and even non-profits taking all of these issues seriously, and trying to spread the word about them. Even though the movement is growing, it’s still miniscule in comparison to the mainstream adult novelty industry, and it’s going to take time before this information is more well known. The shame that many people have regarding their sex life and use of sex toys does not help, and that’s something I’m trying to fight against through sex education. Ignorance = Fear = Shame + Stigma, and the more we educate people on these issues and others, the more hope I have that people will start making better choices for themselves.

What You Can Do

Educate yourself. Pure and simple. The more you know about sex toys, the less likely you are to have to deal with the negative side effects of bad sex toys made out of bad materials4.

Once you learn about sex toy safety (proper shapes, bad materials, bad ingredients,etc) share that information. Seriously. Whether you’re talking to friends, relatives, strangers, or the internet, bring it up whenever the situation calls for it and sometimes even when it doesn’t call for it. Some people might be weird about it5, but realize that sometimes talking about these sorts of things can save people from a really unpleasant reaction, a trip to an emergency room, or possible illness.

Shop from reputable companies. Because the industry isn’t regulated, companies can say whatever they want on their packaging. They can claim something is phthalate free when it isn’t 6 . They can claim something is silicone, when it isn’t. They can basically do anything up to the point of claiming the product can cure or treat an illness or health problem. However, there are some companies that I’ve come to know and trust- I don’t have doubts about the quality of their products or how truthful they are about what you’re getting.

“I want to have a safe toybox. Now what?!”

If you’ve decided to make the shift, that’s a pretty good start. While some of us can just recycle7 our old sex toys and replace everything with ease, many of us do not have the financial ability to do this, and I understand that. If you already have sex toys and think some of them may be unsafe, it’s ok. There are things you can do while you’re in the process of transitioning.

Sex Toys: dildos, vibrators, cock rings, whatever they are take a look at them. Do you know for sure what material they’re made out of? No? For all toys that fit the description of jelly rubber8, you want to keep it from coming in contact with your skin. Even if you’re already using it and haven’t been having problems, it’s still bad for you; if you can’t get rid of it right away you can use a condom for internal parts and cover your bits with plastic wrap or a dental dam9 for any external action.

Lubricants: Check ingredient labels for anything with the word Paraben in it10 or the ingredient Glycerin. These two ingredients are some of the most common offenders in lubricants- Parabens are shelf stabilizers that pose a possible risk to reproductive health and are found in everything from mascara to shampoo- many people form an allergy after being exposed to small amounts of parabens over time, which anyone who lives with modern conveniences like shampoo, soap, toothpaste, deodorant, and more is experiencing unless they are particularly vigilant about finding products without parabens. Glycerin is a cheap filler that adds slipperiness to a product, and there are a few different things that it could possibly be doing to harm you, but it is at the very least a sign of a low quality product. Lubricants that contain glycerine are the ones that generally get sticky and dry up faster, and can be dehydrating and irritating to your skin. If your lube has either of these ingredients, chuck it- there’s nothing you can do aside from using a different lubricant to avoid the issues these ingredients can bring upon you.

Feel free to contact me with any questions you have about a sex toy or lubricant you already own- I can generally let you know if it’s something you should trust or side-eye. If I’m unfamiliar with the product or company, I am at the very least familiar with sex toy materials and lubricants enough in general to be able to help you.

“OK, I’m ready to get some new things for my toybox. What won’t harm me if I use it?”

Now we get to the good part. Below you’ll find a list of all the manufacturers and companies I trust: The ones that aren’t lying. The ones that uphold the truth and the safety of your body. Some of them are even heavily involved in education about toxic and unsafe toys. There are a few big name “body safe” companies missing from this list; this is because for one reason or another, I do not trust these companies. I can clarify privately if you’re interested, and will add them to this list if my concerns are dismissed. I’ll be doing individual features of each company when I do my materials features, and I’ll link those here.

In the meantime, reference this list if you want to find something sexysafe11. I’ve broken things down into materials or ingredients, but note that I have not included any non-porous sex toy materials. This is because porous materials are too risky at this point; most contain phthalates and can lie about their phthalate content; porous materials also break down faster and harbor dirt and bacteria. Non-porous materials are easy to clean, sterilizable, and last much, much longer- though they can be more expensive, they are an investment in a high quality toy that won’t harm your body in any way and will last.

Sex Toys

Silicone, the softest of non-porous sex toy materials, silicone is found in a variety of firmnesses from very soft to very hard, sometimes in combination. This material can be boiled to be sterilized if the toy is non-electronic, or you can use an antibacterial soap without fragrances or dyes ((fragrances and dyes in soaps can be irritating to the sensitive tissues in your bits)) or, if they are not electronic or you can remove electronic components, they can be soaked in a 1:10 bleach to water solution and rinsed.

200x100-web-bannerTantus, Inc. makes some of the best products around and the entire company- offices, warehouse, and factory- are all located in Nevada. Metis Black, the CEO and Founder of Tantus, is really serious about body safety and is a big influence in the movement towards safer sex toy materials. You’ll find dildos, strap-ins, butt plugs, cock rings, all sorts of vibrators, and more made by this fantastic company! You’ll notice that all of their electronic toys use a bullet for their vibration- this is so you can remove the electronic components and safely boil them for sterilization. I’d highly suggest their Closeout and Grab Bag sections if you’re looking for safe fun on a budget.

Happy Valley / Fuze Silicone is located in Canada, and is another package deal; all of their products are made on-site; here you’ll find high quality silicone strap-ins, dildos, butt plugs, and vibrators. The fuze dildos are made for strap-ons and are meant to be stimulating if a person with a clitoris is strapping them on, which I find interesting. Review eminent!

Vixen Creations: Vixen is another US manufacturer; they have high quality silicone toys and are most well known for their “vix-skin” dual-density dildos, which have a firm core but a plushy soft exterior. They have a variety of styles- from very realistic to non-realistic. There are more of these products on the market now, but Vixen has the original and most well known dual density products.

Vamp Silicone is another smaller US-based manufacturer, Vamp has a variety of awesome toys, including dual-density dildos and anal toys. They’re fantastic if you want a glittery cock, or really want your dick to be marbled and gorgeous. They also have one of the most awesome dildos for strap-on use: the angle of the Talula means that it is held erect and ready to go in your favorite harness.

Fun Factory is one of the larger producers of vibrating and pulsating sex toys on the market currently, but unlike many of the other big deal silicone producers, they’re have a completely in-house operation located in Germany. Their toys range from revolutionary to cutesy and kind of weird ((it’s staring at me)), but all are very high quality and also much softer than most other silicone vibrators on the market: where other companies like Je Joue have a hard plastic interior with a thin coating of silicone, the Fun Factory vibrators have a thick, plush covering of squishy silicone. This does, however, make the vibrations a little less strong than they would be otherwise, but if you prize squish over strength, these are for you.

Je Joue is another of the bigger luxury silicone vibrator companies out there. Operated out of Canada (I am unsure of location of manufacture, but it is likely China), Je Joue has a small line of beautiful, minimalistic, classy vibes- their shape makes me think of modern art, which leaves me feeling a little weird about them, but that’s a personal thing12. Despite this, I do appreciate the quality- these products use magnets to charge, which makes them completely waterproof. They’re strong, and the designs are interesting. If you want a classy vibe, these are definitely my recommendation.

We Vibe, the Canadian manufacturers of a small range of well-made silicone and ABS hard plastic sex toys, most well known for their “We Vibe” 2 and 3- these silicone encased “couple’s toys” are some of the most popular designs currently on the market. Designed to target the g-spot and clitoris simultaneously and able to be worn during penetrative intercourse, I think it’s easy to see why they’re so popular. Their other products are also pretty awesome, if you ask me. I’m a big fan of the We-Vibe Touch, which is my new favorite vibrator. You’ll get a review about it and other we-vibe products soon enough.

Whipspider Rubberworks The products made by this 3-person collective operating out of Maine are fantastic- and dare I say it, whimsical. Need an Easter Island Moai in your butt? Got you covered. Do you really want a jellyfish in your orifices, but are worried about the stingers? One Jellyfish, coming right up. You can also find unicorn horns and tentacles amongst their ranks, and more!

BS is Nice  BS is another really small company working our of Madrid, Spain. Their hallmarks are bright color blocks and bold lines, resulting in simplistic, beautiful, and functional art. Their dildos, harnesses, butt plugs, dilators, and even a new strap-in design are of incredibly high quality, and the people who work there are fantastic!

Babes’n’Horny yet another small company (I believe there are only 3 staff members) working out of London, yet more high quality, unique products. Babes carries a variety of well-made and eye-catching harnesses, thigh harnesses, and restraints to be used in tandem with their fabulous dildos with their bright mod aesthetic. They have everything from the very unrealistic to the incredibly realistic in terms of dildos as well as silicone cock rings and anal toys. I’d recommend their “Babes Value” Section if you’re on a budget, and don’t care much about color.

Divine Interventions a one-person operation out of California, these awesome silicone toys are great for those who want to get to know their toys…. biblically. Baby Jesus Butt Plugs, Holy Water Lube, Satan, and various other toys with christian, buddhist, and hindu themes guarantee that you’ll get your one way ticket to the inferno having a great time.

B Swish On the cheaper side as far as silicone vibrators go, these toys are great for someone looking for awesome, body safe products on a budget. They won’t last or perform as well as a luxury vibrator will, but it definitely won’t harm you and will work better than your typical adult store vibrator. They’re a great introduction to the work of body safe sex toys.

Tenga / Iroha  Iroha are a new line made by the same company that makes awesome, hi-tech masturbatory aids- Tenga. The new Iroha are their first foray into products for women, and are made of very squishy soft silicone. While pricey-er, these fabulous Japanese-made products are great if you don’t want something that’s super girly, works well, and has a cool magnet-recharging system that’s also a storage case. Read my review [here].

Laid Norway This Norwegian company makes awesome non-vibrating products out of smooth, matte silicone: cock rings, dildos, and now magnetic kegel balls are all available through this awesome company. You should also check out their metal and stone products!

Bad Dragon  Here’s another company that’s an all-in-one deal. Operating out of Arizona, all of their products are thought up, designed, and made on-site. These are unique because each design usually comes in 3-4 sizes and can be made in 3 different firmnesses of silicone, from very squishy to firm but still with some give. They come with a lot of color options and you can even request a custom coloration, and many can be customized with a “cum tube” or suction cup- each product is made to order, unless you get a pre-made. Did I mention that they’re dragons? The cast of characters each product is trying to emulate includes dragons, cockatrices, dogs, horses, and more. Although this specific niche isn’t for everyone including myself, the customizability makes them great products. You don’t have to fantasize about a dragon fucking you when you use one, you can just appreciate an awesomely textured dildo. I’ve reviewed a few of their products, and have another review coming your way soon.

Aneros  makes the prostate massagers on the market. They’re some of the originals, and their products are crafted with comfort and anatomy in mind. They also make kegel exercisers and weighted plugs that are great for PC exercise and training your body to be more accustomed to anal penetration. They make products that are ABS Hard Plastic, Metal, and Silicone coated!

ABS Hard Plastic: A non-porous hard plastic; hard plastic can still be porous and therefor hold dirt and bacteria. These cannot be boiled to be sterilized, but you can use the other methods mentioned above.

B Swish All you need to know about this company is mentioned above in the silicone section! Some of their products are made exclusively on ABS, and most silicone products have ABS detailing.

Tenga /Iroha   As mentioned, Tenga makes awesome male masturbators and now awesome vibrators- many of these have ABS parts. The Tenga Flipholes, for example, use ABS on the exterior of their product, and the control panel of the Iroha is also made of ABS hard plastic.

Fun Factory  Most of these products use ABS in conjunction with silicone- in their handles, or as the base material for things like the Smart Balls.

We Vibe  as mentioned above, We-Vibe makes awesome silicone products, but their ABS Salsa and Tango rechargeable bullet vibes are a must in any serious collection- they are the strongest small vibrators on the market, and can be used in most bullet sleeves- they fit Tantus and Fuze silicone, for sure (I’ve tried). Inserted into a toy, these will make it vibrate better than most vibrators with incorporated electronics. Review soon!

Glass: This can mean soda lime glass, or more commonly, borosilicate or pyrex. Borosilicate is lighter than soda lime and can also withstand more dramatic temperature changes and more extreme temperatures. Both can be used for temperature play: let the toy sit in cold or warm water, but make sure it isn’t so hot or cold as to be uncomfortable to your hand.

HeaderCrystal Delights  A fantastic small company owned and operated in New Hampshire, I highly recommend these quality products to glass collectors and those curious about glass as well. They have butt plugs with pretty crystals in the base, textured wands, textured butt plugs, and even some awesome fantasy products, including fox tail and bunny tail attachments for their special magnetic plugs, in a variety of colors. I’ve reviewed their small plug! Well my partner did, anyway…

Pyrexions  while this one-person company isn’t as active as it used to be, they’re still making awesome glass sex toys and will take custom orders. Some of the glass work is amazing, I’d suggest finding them on facebook and instagram!

Fucking Sculptures  is a small glass artist making glass art you can fuck; they have five different styles, but each individual piece is unique. These are beautiful, well made soda lime toys that are hand made, one by one.

Specially Treated Wood: These wooden sex toys are sealed with a special coating that makes them non-porous and also smooths over any lumps and bumps. The coating also keeps splinters at bay- no one wants splinters in their bits! These toys are great because they offer a completely different experience; since they’re wood, they’re often very light and hold body heat in an interesting way. They’re also gorgeous!

Nobessence  the most well known and trusted makers of wooden sex toys, and for good reason. They cover their beautiful wood wands, prostate massagers, whips, and cock rings with a patented, non-porous and body safe sealant that makes them super smooth to the touch and beautiful to the eye.

Penetralia This company seems to have stopped producing or has at the very least disappeared off of social media and out of most outlets I know of to buy it from. I’m looking to see if I can find out more about this; if you know anything, shoot me an email!

Metal: Metal is another unique sensation- heavy, cold, and polished smooth, these shiny toys are often frictionless and practically glow. They are also great for temperature play, but take heed to the suggestions above. Most metal toys are Aluminum or even more commonly, Stainless Steel. I have, however, seen Gold and Silver sex toys before!

nJoy  the best word to describe nJoy products is with the word “engineered”- these toys are made to do their job well, and they live up to the expectations that statement comes with. The Pure Wand is the best wand for direct G-Spot stimulation. The Pure Plugs are great, comfortable butt plugs that are sized to be suitable for beginner, intermediate, and advanced users. Did I mention that they’re beautiful?

Laid Norway as mentioned above in the silicone section, Laid Norway makes awesome products, one of which is a metal combination perineum massager and cock ring.

Stone: Stone isn’t as common of a material, but it’s certainly an interesting one.

Laid Norway   The Norwegian Moonstone dildo that Laid Norway makes is incredibly gorgeous. There’s not much else I can say about it, except to tell you to go look at it.

Luz de la Riva Luz de La Riva makes a few stone products, from a volcanic ash stone g-spotting dildo to agate and red jasper ben wa balls. They’re pricey and definitely a luxury item- you can find their products at She Vibe!


Water-Based: Your typical water-based lubricants. These are compatible with any sex toy material and feel more “natural.” Water-based lubricants represent the largest variety of lubricants: generally, stimulating and flavored lubricants are water-based.

Sliquid   my go-to for most lubricant needs, Sliquid has by far the largest range of body-safe lubricants on the market. They have personal, all-day moisturizers, regular and gel water-based lubricants, stimulating lubricants, and even flavored lubricants- they also have an organic line!

Good Clean Love  if you like a really thick water-based lubricant but want something safe, I’d recommend Good Clean Love. They also have a few lightly flavored lubricants.

Yes Organics the thinnest of body-safe water based lubricants I’ve tried, this is definitely very close to natural lubrication in texture.

Silicone-Based: Thin, long lasting- since silicone doesn’t evaporate like water13, a little bit goes a loooooong way with silicone lubricant, and it’s not good only for dirty time. Silicone lubricants can be used to shine hair and skin, shine and condition latex clothing, and more- silicone is also the default lubricant used in condoms. These will generally only contain silicone ingredients14 and since it’s made up of molecules of silicone, cannot permeate your tissues and will not interact with your body. The only consideration here is that sometimes, silicone lubricants try to attach to silicone toys- if you have silicone toys and want to stay safe, generally just stick with water and oil based lubes. If you’re dead-set on using silicone, you can spot test to see if the lube gums up on the surface of the toy- if it does, don’t use them together.

Sliquid Sliquid Silver, all the way! Sliquid also has hybrid water/silicone based lubricants- they last longer than water, but clean up easier than a pure silicone.

Uberlube another high quality silicone lubricant- there really isn’t much more you can say!

Pjur  known as one of the highest quality silicone lubricants, Pjur uses a highly concentrated formula.

Oil-Based: Oil based lubes can be kind of tricky. They are not compatible with latex or polyisoprene condoms. Oil degrades latex and polyisoprene, compromising their ability to block STIs and Pregnancy even if they aren’t broken. If you want to use oil based lube and also want to be safe, you can use polyurethane condoms like the FC2 and the male polyurethane condom trojan makes. Oil based lube is great for anal use- it’s rich and creamy, but also feels good elsewhere; “male masturbation creams” are frequently made out of oil, and if you’ve read my review of the bad dragon masturbation sleeves, you’d know that my partner loves using Yes Oil with our silicone sleeves15. The other consideration you need to have is that mineral oil based lubes are not vagina safe. I repeat, mineral oil based lubes are not vagina safe. However, plant oil based lubes are vagina friendly, and everything I’ve mentioned below is vagina-safe.

Coconu  this is a new manufacturer that I’m not very familiar with yet, but their ingredients list checks out.

Plain ‘ol Coconut Oil. Really, just slather it on there.

Yes Organics my introduction to oil-based lube and a family favorite. This stuff is awesome.

I think that’s just about everything. If I missed something or someone you think should be included on this list, let me know!

Click HERE for numbered footnotes.


About the author:


Caitlin, also known as Sexational! is a sex educator and adult product reviewer- their goal is to help people make educated, informed decisions for their pleasure and health, and they believe you can never know too much. Some words that apply to Caitlin are queer, gender non-conforming, radical, and feminist of the intersectional variety (notice the comma). When Caitlin isn’t writing, they can be found drawing, arguing with someone about the benefits of silicone, taking pictures of their partner’s cat, or outside somewhere. They can be found at www.sex-ational.com and @sex_ational on Twitter.

Jul 312013

Originally published in BUST Posted by: Shelby L Thompson in Sexy on Jul 31, 2013


This is the real world, people, and whether or not you watch porn on a regular basis, you may have noticed that sexy time is not always as hard-core, pleasurable, or even as interesting as it is seems to be in porn. Thanks to the kbcreativelab, we now have the true differences between real sex and porn sex explained with the colorful use of food!

Not only is this video delicious, but totally informative! Did you know that the average Porn Star penis is 6-9 inches while the average dude is closer to 5-7? And while “male performers can pump for days, in real life, 75% of men ejaculate within 3 minutes”? Wait, what!? That is not nearly enough time to get me hot and bothered!  TMI? Maybe.  Watch to learn more, and I dare you to try and look at Nutella the same way again.



Porn Sex vs Real Sex: The Differences Explained With Food

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