Jul 192014
 
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After Pornified – How Women Are Transforming Pornography and Why It Really Matters

A Book Review, by Lady Cheeky: Originally published on EvolvedWorld.com

What do you think about when you hear the word “pornography”?  In the United States at least, that word usually conjures up images of brightly tanned, women on their knees and overly built men with perma-erections in various states of orgasmic euphoria.  Pornography has classically been made by and for a male consumer base summarily ignoring the female audience that was always assumed to not be interested in sexually based entertainment. It’s interesting to note though, that 40 million Americans visit porn sites regularly and 1 in 3 of those viewers are women, (probably more if you figure that a lot of women would be too shy to admit to it).  However, with the ever-increasing demographic of women who enjoy porn on a regular basis this old-fashioned image may need to make way for a new paradigm of pornography, Feminist or “Re-visioned” Porn.

In the new book AfterPornified: How Women Are Transforming Pornography & Why It Really Matters (from Zer0 Books) by Anne G. Sabo, Ph.D., Ms. Sabo catalogs  and explains the history and the need for Feminist Porn.

the great thing about porn affecting us is that it can actually have a good effect on us.  Re-visioned and transformed feminist porn proves my point.  Re-visioned porn can change the way we think about and practice sex in positive ways, just as mainstream porn has affected the way we picture and practice sex in negative ways”.

By highlighting and examining revolutionary feminist porn filmmakers and their work, Ms. Sabo delineates how each artist brings their unique vision and aesthetic to their films and how that impacts the world of erotic filmmaking geared toward women.  She also speaks with these illustrious filmmakers, Candida Royalle, Erika Lust and Lisbeth Lyngoft to name a few and interviews them about their vision and their process. Ms. Royalle, for example, outlines (with great sub-categories) two essential elements one must incorporate in a good feminist sex flick:

1. High cinematic production value and

2. Progressive sexual-political commitment.

Ms. Lyngoft also throws her hat in the ring with her must have list, one of which is “To create a powerful female character who is determined and who goes with her desires”. This seems to be the main current that runs through the feminist porn genre; giving the female lead agency over her own body and desires.

Breaking down scenes from classic feminist porn films and then dissecting why they change the landscape of the pornographic film business is a unique and fascinating aspect of Ms. Sabo’s book. It’s almost as if the reader is being schooled in sexuality & feminist theory and practice by an intelligent and noted scholar. In fact, Ms. Sabo is an academic-cum-public educator who has researched feminist pornography for over a decade and is a noted expert in her field. The reader benefits from her expertise by covering topics that range from pushing the limits with progressive porn to  music video porn all written with intelligence and aplomb. As a fantastic plus, Ms. Sabo finishes off her book with a healthy appendix of filmmakers, websites, women-oriented sex shops, and progressive sex film awards and festivals to further quell your new lust for more feminist porn.

 

Ms. Sabo has done her research and it shows in this illuminating and detailed treatise on the re-visioned/feminist porn movement. This book is a goldmine for all sex-positive women and men who at least believe that there is nothing wrong with porn that a little balance can’t fix or even the steadfast feminist who wants to broaden his/her knowledge base on the issues of sexual agency of women in adult film. The casual reader will also find something to take away from this book, a new respect for the women of porn and a newly minted image when they next hear the word “pornography” brought up in conversation.

After Pornified: How Women Are Transforming Pornography and Why It Really Matters (from Zer0 Books): is available on AMAZON and AMAZON UK

 

 

Jan 172014
 
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Maggie Mayhem

This list and it’s original title “50 Things I’ve Been Meaning To Say About Sex” originally appeared on www.MissMaggieMayhem.com on November 8, 2013.  If you don’t know who Maggie Mayhem is, you should – in my opinion she is one of the great minds of the sex-positive movement. I loved this list so much I wanted to share it with you. Read them.  Print them. Memorize them. Share them with everyone you know and visit her site and her Tumblr often.  So, with permission from Miss Mayhem here is a re-print of “50 Things I’ve been Meaning to Say About Sex. by Maggie Mayhem”   xo LC

 

 

 

  1. There is no easy set of steps for giving or receiving pleasure.
  2. There is no finish line.
  3. Your triumphs and your traumas will impact your sexuality.
  4. Sex itself can be a source of triumph and trauma.
  5. Hydration really does make a difference.
  6. There will be plot twists.
  7. Your sexual preferences may not match your needs or opportunities for pleasure.
  8. Sometimes the most skillful application of touch won’t do what a single caress or glance from someone you are centered upon can do.
  9. It’s more than active or passive. You can be actively-passive and passively-active in sex.
  10. You may summon something you weren’t prepared to receive.
  11. You will experience cognitive dissonance.
  12. You are more beautiful than you know.
  13. You are not entitled to your partner’s sexual backstory. It’s their choice to share.
  14. It’s fucked up to make someone feel bad about their body and how it works.
  15. Take time to breathe.
  16. Sometimes you will be terrified.
  17. Humans have sex for reasons that include but are not limited to pleasure or procreation.
  18. Be prepared for fluids.
  19. You will shed many sexual skins over your lifetime.
  20. Blood sugar really makes a difference.
  21. Using sex as a weapon is when you unilaterally commandeer someone’s body for your use, not when you are soliciting sexual attraction.
  22. Feeling fascinated or attracted to someone does not entitle you to their time and attention.
  23. Things may not meet expectations.
  24. Orgasms are just one piece.
  25. No one else is an authority on your sexuality.
  26. Sometimes you will be confused.
  27. Sometimes you will find ecstasy in the orgiastic, sometimes in the ascetic.
  28. The power of sex to hurt and to heal demands our respect.
  29. Sex is more than what we will ever say about it.
  30. There is no default state of sexual consciousness.
  31. You will find times when words will utterly fail you.
  32. What your body does may not be congruous with your desire.
  33. Context is key.
  34. Sex can be both a source of empowerment and dis-empowerment.
  35. The experience of another may offer wisdom or perspective but it might not be applicable to your life.
  36. An orgasm does not always mean pleasure.
  37. You may run into people who treat you as an inferior version of their projection of you.
  38. There are many different motivations to have sex.
  39. Implemental sex is neither greater nor lesser than non-implemental sex.
  40. The hottest thing in the world might not turn you on anymore.
  41. The value placed upon any given sex act or object is relational rather than intrinsic.
  42. Random causes should not be confused with essential facts.
  43. Your props of sexual summoning will change over time.
  44. Sexual union on non-physical planes exists.
  45. No element of sex is compulsory.
  46. Consciously changing your breathing patterns will change your experience of sex.
  47. Sex can be an instrument of knowing.
  48. Sexual definitions will fail to contain their referents.
  49. There’s really no such thing as an expert on sex.
  50. I don’t endorse everything I’ve said or thought about sex, not even this list.

 

MagicWand-728x90

Jan 092014
 

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We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

- The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

- The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Dec 112013
 
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Originally published on 12/4/13  sabrinamorgan.tumblr.com

We have a real problem with our sex educators and writers getting booted off of sites like Facebook and LinkedIn, and having their funds frozen by processors like PayPal, because of these companies’ refusal to touch the erotic. Specifically, perceived status as a (current or former, as PayPal clarified to me in a phone call) sex worker or association with erotic materials (such as an erotica Tumblr; let’s not even start on porn) is license to shut down our educators.

This is being unevenly applied. If you’re a male sex educator, or are commonly read as masculine, you are less likely to have this issue because of the false assumption that men aren’t sex workers. (Male sex educators and sex workers still have this issue, to be clear.) If you’re a female sex educator, or are perceived as one, you are more likely to be assumed to be a sex worker.

If you’ve thought that working strictly as a sex educator meant that sex worker stigma wasn’t your issue, let this be a wake-up call. Unless we take pleasure out of sex education – which is a losing game – we will keep having our platforms knocked out from under us due not only to discomfort with sex, but discomfort with the erotic pleasure principle, and with the possibility of sex work.

Educators such as Nina Hartley, Buck Angel, and Jessica Drake use porn as a platform to reach many who might not otherwise seek out sex and pleasure education. Lots of sex educators have backgrounds in the erotic professions that inform their work as sex educators. When we’re too scared to defend sex work, because it’s not our battle, because there’s a legal gray area we’re scared to touch, we’re saying it’s okay to let the sex workers – our front-line sex educators – take the bullets as long as we get to play the game. And we get to play the game only as long as we play it safe.

Playing it safe means being afraid to show what it is that we’re teaching. Playing it safe means we can’t make our material too erotic or explicit or we’ll lose our billing. Playing it safe means knowing our client needs to see a sex worker but being afraid to make the referral because of what it might mean for us professionally.

We all do it. And we can all be braver. Because it is our fight. Sex work is under assault because it’s both sex and work. When we work in sex, however we work in sex, we brush up against that stigma. If we want sex to be taken seriously on our watch, we have to commit to standing up for access to sex education and health, for pleasure, and for treating all of the sexual professions with respect.

images-2Sabrina Morgan is a sex worker’s rights advocate as well as a sex educator and relationship coach. Fascinated with the places where society and sexuality intersect, she began practicing kink-focused work in 2005 and has been speaking and presenting workshops on dating, sexuality, and the intersection of sex, gender, and human rights issues since 2009.

Her work as a professional switch allowed her to work with others’ sexuality in a very personal way, giving her a deft sensitivity to the needs of those exploring new facets of their sexual selves and an understanding of the importance of sex and relationship education for adults.

A firm believer in continuing education for all adults exploring sex and relationships, she has presented at SXSW, the Woodhull Sexual Freedom Summit 2013, Toronto’s Playground Conference 2012 & 2013, CatalystCon East and West 2012 & 2013, Momentum 2011 & 2012, BIL 2012, the San Francisco Sex Worker Fest, and Sex 2.0 2009 & 2010. She offers group workshops, distance classes, and has shot educational videos for both Kink Academy and Passionate U.

Individual and couples’ coaching is available through her site.

Dec 012013
 
images-1

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 - Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition

QUOTED:

He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said - Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post

 

 

 

Dec 012013
 
images-1

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 - Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition

QUOTED:

He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said - Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post

 

 

 

Nov 192013
 
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This made me cheer a little in my mouth.

Burlesque Dancer, Amanda Trusty, depicts her body image journey through her art and makes us all a little bit

better for it.

On November 22, 2013, Amanda will be interviewed on The Today Show in New York City at 8am EST. Her

viral burlesque video to Katy Perry’s Roar has been featured on Huffington Post and Jezebel. Watch the powerful statement she makes (in the above YouTube video)

photo

Continue to follow Amanda’s popular blog on eating, performing, and what it’s like to live in a body controlled by the entertainment biz here: Trust Me, I’ve Been There

Oct 152013
 
ashley0043

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ashley0043

“THANK GOD ASHLEY MANTA MOVED TO CALIFORNIA FROM PHILLY.”

I’m not certain there’s a day that goes by where that sentence doesn’t leave my lips.

I had the good fortune to be on a sexuality and body image panel with Ashley Manta at CatalystCon West last month. Enthusiastic and eager she brought an exceptional skill-set and work ethic to the ta

ble, as well as a sense of humor and a vast compendium of knowledge.

Wise beyond her years, Ashley Manta is a sex-ed phenom. Erotic Hypnosis anyone? With a certification in hypnosis, Ashley’s your gal. Erotic hypnosis whilst discussing Shoepenhauer? Ashley has a Masters in Philosophy, so you’re covered.

Active in the Los Angeles sex-positive and Sex Geekdom communities, Ashley  advocates for a well-informed, sex-educated public, particularly around herpes awareness, body image issues and sexual abuse .

She also bakes a mean cupcake with buttercream frosting.

Like most sex educators, Ashley has a ton of toys (She has to. It’s her JOB). I asked her to pick five favorites and a lube and this is what she gave me:

 Five Sex Toys …

1. Fun Factory Stronic Eins – This toy actually thrusts! It’s a powerful silicone insertable and at the very top of my wish list! It curves slightly at the tip to reach the g-spot and the thrusting motion give the g-spot a pleasant massage that is both pleasurable and relaxing.

2. Tantus Juice - You can’t go wrong with Tantus toys, and this one is no exception! It has a gradually increasing thickness that is both pleasurable and non-threatening for beginners. Love it! As with all anal toys, this should be used with copious amounts of lube. Think you have enough? Use more.

3. Lelo Siri – I love this clitoral vibe. It’s great to use during penetrative sex because it can fit securely between two bodies without being unwieldy. Plus it’s silicone. (Are we noticing a trend? It’s true – I am a silicone addict)

4. Njoy Pure Wand – Taking a quick departure from silicone toys – I LOVE this toy. I had never enjoyed g-spot stimulation until I tried this toy. The combination of shape and the weight of this toy is fantastic! It feels delicious as you insert it, and once it’s in, everything you do feels great! Seriously: thrust it, twist it, vibrate it, whatever you do, this toy will provide pleasure.

5. Bandit Dildo – Made of incredible VixSkin (if you haven’t tried this material, you’re missing out!), this toy has a deliciously realistic feel. It’s also a good size to fit into most harnesses (I love the new Tantus line of harnesses that have velcro side closure and deliciously supple leather that looks AND feels sexy!)

 and a LUBE …

Sliquid - I avoid any lube that contains Glycerin or Parabens. That takes a lot of them off the table, unfortunately. Thankfully, the entire Sliquid line is glycerin and paraben free. Their anal lube doesn’t use any desensitizing agents (pain is there for a reason!) and their flavored lubes are sugar free so that they won’t cause yeast infections. This line is great quality and affordable. I love them all!

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Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Unknown

Tantus Juice Plug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lelo Siri

Lelo Siri

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Bandit Dildo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

Sliquid

Sliquid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Ashley Manta:

ashley0043

Ashley Manta is a sex positive feminist and sexuality educator. She works as a staff writer on topics of sexuality, relationships, and empowerment for the online magazines Evolved World and Kinkly. She is a regular contributor for the Herpes Opportunity, a website and forum that provides support for people living with herpes. She currently sits on the Board of Directors for Voices, Incorporated, a non-profit designed to support survivors of sexual violence. She is also the West Coast Advisor for the Women’s Circle Project, a non-profit geared toward empowering women to become tomorrow’s leaders. Her mission is to empower others and foster personal, relational, and sexual growth. Through one on one coaching, workshops, and hypnosis for stress management, confidence, and motivation she endeavors to help others take control of their lives and make progress in their personal journey.

You can contact Ashley at:

Email: Ashley@AshleyManta.com

Twitter: @ashleymanta

Website: www.AshleyManta.com

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