Jul 012013
 
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How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?

By speaking out, as truthfully as I can about my own experience uncovering, indulging and ultimately integrating my sensuality. I hope I can encourage other women to explore, embark on or continue that journey, especially women over 40 and women with body image concerns.

Who or what was a catalyst for you?

Oddly enough, the TV show ‘True Blood.’ By watching it during the end of my marriage it sparked a realization in me, that I craved, needed and deserved to experience passion in my life. I owe it all to Bill and Sookie!

What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in the field of sexuality right now?

One of the biggest challenges we’re facing is helping people understand that women’s

Photo by Gene Reed

Photo by Gene Reed

sexuality and sensuality is just as vibrant, prevalent and vital as our male counterparts. Women enjoy and want to experience great sex just as much as men do … and often! We aren’t the

mercurial creatures that science and the media might make us believe. Our (women’s) sexuality is rich and sensual and absolutely nothing to be guarded or ashamed of. My greatest wish is for women of all ages is to realize, that their sexuality and their sensuality is to be celebrated and expressed, not ignored, shamed or diminished.

What do you feel are some of the most important/valuable positive changes that have been made in the world of sexuality in the past year?

This has been an interesting year for sexuality. I think the “Mission Creep” of sustained messages, like Dan Savage’s reiteration in his column and his new book about how we might re-think monogamy as the “ideal” monotheistic norm is important. His stance of a more flexible idea of what a successful partnership can look like is a powerful and crucial discussion to keep having. Although this idea is not newly proselytized by him, the release of his new book this year brought the topic to the fore in interviews and reviews, giving society another “booster shot” to start thinking of new paradigms when it comes to the choice of monogamy.

Also Tristan Taormino reviving the question “why feminist porn?” and the popularity of her book ‘The Feminist Porn Book.’ The book and Tristan has had a main stream cultural impact, making the need for feminist porn and the humanist idea behind it, more a part of the social conscience. “Feminist Porn” is more a part of the zeitgeist than ever before and I think we owe that to Tristan Taormino. I mean it was even mentioned on SNL!

Most recently though, I don’t think we can ignore the potential impact of Daniel Bergner’s research and ensuing book on female sexuality. Because it’s been getting a lot of press, it may help to drive home the fact that ‘What Women Want’ is sex and a lot of it!

Why do you feel it is important to bring the topic of your session, Does This Panel Make Me Look Fat?: Body Image and Sexuality, to CatalystCon West?

for the rest … CLICK HERE

 

What is CatalystCon?

CatalystCon is a conference created to inspire exceptional conversations about sexuality. It is about reaching out and stimulating those who attend to create those important conversations in their own communities, changing how we as a society talk and treat sexuality.  It is about stimulating the activist that is within all of us and sparking transformation in the way our friends, neighbors, children and even politicians discuss one of the most important aspects of humanity.

Dee Dennis regards this conference as a “melting pot of sexuality” that will unite sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. “Knowledge is power, and sharing that knowledge is the first spark in igniting change.” This is the fundamental principle behind CatalystCon.  To get your tickets for CatalystCon West , Click HERE

Jul 012013
 

 

How do you see yourself as a catalyst for change?

By speaking out, as truthfully as I can about my own experience uncovering, indulging and ultimately integrating my sensuality. I hope I can encourage other women to explore, embark on or continue that journey, especially women over 40 and women with body image concerns.

Who or what was a catalyst for you?

Oddly enough, the TV show ‘True Blood.’ By watching it during the end of my marriage it sparked a realization in me, that I craved, needed and deserved to experience passion in my life. I owe it all to Bill and Sookie!

What do you feel are some of the biggest challenges or concerns facing us in the field of sexuality right now?

One of the biggest challenges we’re facing is helping people understand that women’s

Photo by Gene Reed

Photo by Gene Reed

sexuality and sensuality is just as vibrant, prevalent and vital as our male counterparts. Women enjoy and want to experience great sex just as much as men do … and often! We aren’t the

mercurial creatures that science and the media might make us believe. Our (women’s) sexuality is rich and sensual and absolutely nothing to be guarded or ashamed of. My greatest wish is for women of all ages is to realize, that their sexuality and their sensuality is to be celebrated and expressed, not ignored, shamed or diminished.

What do you feel are some of the most important/valuable positive changes that have been made in the world of sexuality in the past year?

This has been an interesting year for sexuality. I think the “Mission Creep” of sustained messages, like Dan Savage’s reiteration in his column and his new book about how we might re-think monogamy as the “ideal” monotheistic norm is important. His stance of a more flexible idea of what a successful partnership can look like is a powerful and crucial discussion to keep having. Although this idea is not newly proselytized by him, the release of his new book this year brought the topic to the fore in interviews and reviews, giving society another “booster shot” to start thinking of new paradigms when it comes to the choice of monogamy.

Also Tristan Taormino reviving the question “why feminist porn?” and the popularity of her book ‘The Feminist Porn Book.’ The book and Tristan has had a main stream cultural impact, making the need for feminist porn and the humanist idea behind it, more a part of the social conscience. “Feminist Porn” is more a part of the zeitgeist than ever before and I think we owe that to Tristan Taormino. I mean it was even mentioned on SNL!

Most recently though, I don’t think we can ignore the potential impact of Daniel Bergner’s research and ensuing book on female sexuality. Because it’s been getting a lot of press, it may help to drive home the fact that ‘What Women Want’ is sex and a lot of it!

Why do you feel it is important to bring the topic of your session, Does This Panel Make Me Look Fat?: Body Image and Sexuality, to CatalystCon West?

for the rest … CLICK HERE

 

What is CatalystCon?

CatalystCon is a conference created to inspire exceptional conversations about sexuality. It is about reaching out and stimulating those who attend to create those important conversations in their own communities, changing how we as a society talk and treat sexuality.  It is about stimulating the activist that is within all of us and sparking transformation in the way our friends, neighbors, children and even politicians discuss one of the most important aspects of humanity.

Dee Dennis regards this conference as a “melting pot of sexuality” that will unite sex educators, sexologists, sex workers, writers, activists, and anyone with a passion for creating change. “Knowledge is power, and sharing that knowledge is the first spark in igniting change.” This is the fundamental principle behind CatalystCon.  To get your tickets for CatalystCon West , Click HERE

Feb 082013
 

575482_605174409498301_1794244505_nBy Sarah Stefanson      Originally published on AskMen.com

 

Chances are good that you are not using one of the best tools in your sexual arsenal to its full potential. This secret weapon is your mouth. We’re not just talking about oral sex here, although you should be giving her oral pleasure on a regular basis if you want to be a good lover, and we’re going to go beyond kissing on the mouth in this article, which you should have mastered by now if you want to kiss her anywhere else.

Your mouth can be applied to various other parts of her body by kissing, licking, nibbling, biting, and sucking. Anywhere you touch her with your hands will most likely feel even better when stimulated by a warm, wet mouth. When it comes to kissing women, some of their favorite places are obvious, while others are frequently overlooked.

Ears

The ears are an often-neglected area of the body that can be the site of intense pleasure for her and using your mouth is the best way to stimulate them. Gentle nibbling on the earlobe is a reliable way to send shivers down her spine, but you should also try lightly brushing your lips against her ear, which will rouse the soft, fine hairs there creating waves of tingly pleasure.

Back of the neck

One of the easiest and most dependable ways to get her in the mood is to place your mouth on the back of her neck. This works especially well if you take her by surprise. When she’s at the sink doing dishes or working on the computer, approach her quietly from behind, sweep her hair off the back of her neck and kiss her there. She will soon forget her task and want more.

Face

There are few things more personal than kissing a woman on the face. Your warm, fuzzy feelings for her can be expressed by placing sweet, light kisses on her cheeks, forehead, jaw line, even her nose and closed eyelids. But don’t lick her face. Just don’t. It’s icky, not sexy. No biting either. Her face should be treated with tenderness and reverence.

Collarbone

While her clothes are still on, one of the most intimate places you can lay some kisses is along her collarbone. A woman’s exposed collarbone is sexy and your mouth on it makes her think of your mouth on more private parts of her body. So start off with kisses there before you move on to places you can’t reach while she’s fully clothed.

Hips

Her hips are more sensitive than you would guess. It could be because they are so close to the center of her physical pleasure. Whatever the reason, kissing, licking and nibbling at her hips will send currents of delight down to her toes and up to the top of her head. Don’t neglect this place she wants your mouth to be.

Breasts

Putting your mouth on her breasts can be intensely sexy, but doing it wrong can turn her right off. Kissing, licking and sucking are all recommended and even some gentle biting can be acceptable as long as you take it easy. Her breasts are delicate, so don’t forget that you have to treat them appropriately. Unless she’s into hardcore S&M, hard sucking and biting are no-nos. Her breasts should not have bruises when you are done with them. Also, remember that her nipples are not the only parts that need some attention. Use your mouth all over her breasts for maximum effect.

No-go areas

No matter where your mouth ends up, it’s probably going to make her feel good. However, there are a couple body parts you should always get permission to apply your mouth to before exploring, including her feet and her bum. Some girls simply aren’t into having your mouth in these sensitive areas, so ask her before you go there. On the other hand, some girls would enthusiastically welcome some toe sucking or some tongue action down below. Find out where she stands and use your mouth accordingly.

Sarah Stefanson is a writer, editor and advice columnist for a variety of online magazines on subjects as varied as sex, relationships, fashion, women’s issues, travel, and autos. She and her boyfriend live in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, where they are both working on novels.

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