Jan 302014
 

A lesbian couple in bedGeorge Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place”. Never has this been more apropos than in communicating our sexual desires to our partner. Let’s face it, telling your lover that you would like him to kiss you more gently or maybe even spank you a little harder, can be a bit intimidating, to say the least. However, letting your partner know what you want and what you enjoy is part of having a healthy and fulfilling sex life. So unless you want to be pigeonholed into the same kind of sex for the rest of your relationship, take heed fearless frends! Here are a few suggestions to lead your partner in the right direction.

THE DIRECT APPROACH: You might want to begin the conversation by telling him about something you really like that he or she does (or you two do together) sexually and then suggest the new idea. For instance, “I’ve been thinking about how exciting it is when you give me a little swat on my rear during sex” then add, “I think I might like it if you wanted to tug at my hair a bit too”. During sex can also be great time to show your lover what he’s doing that gets your toes curling. A well placed “yes, just like that” or, a simple “I love how you’re moving” will guide them in the right direction. Don’t be shy to express your pleasure. I guarantee this positive reinforcement will not only turn him on but will give him a more specific map of your erogenous zones.

SHOW, DON’T TELL: Certified Sex Educator and author of How To Be A Great Lover, Lou Paget gay-men-in-bed(www.LouPaget.com) suggests you try doing unto your partner what you would have her do unto you. For example, if her kiss could use some improvement, Lou suggests you start by kissing her the way you like to be kissed, perhaps anchoring your hands seductively on her neck so you can guide her in ways that please you, then ask her “show me what it feels like to be kissed by me.” Or, maybe her touch can be too rough? Feel free to take her hand and direct it in the way that pleases you, giving her approving glances as she follows your lead. It goes without saying; your positive reinforcement when she successfully mimics your movements will be all the affirmation she needs to happily continue.

ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS: Think about it, when you bond with new friends you like to discover what you like to do together. Why should it be any different with your partner? People learn better by doing … so … DO! For instance, if the idea of role-playing gets you going, talking about those fantasies are much easier once you’ve done it. Almost all the couples I’ve spoken with love it when their partner shares taking the lead with sex. Start with something fun and sexy you two can laugh about later. Maybe you have a thing for firemen? Surprise him by dressing up in something red and “hot” and fireman’s hat … put on a fake fireplace DVD and coyly ask “Where’s the fire?” Cheesy? Yes. But cheesy can be fun and nothing relaxes people more than a good-natured laugh. Suggest that next time he might play the fireman and “rescue” you (wink-wink). Voila! You’ve shown him your fantasy and basically had a conversation without having a conversation!

Happy-couple-in-bed-smilingINTIMATE EDUCATION: Maybe your welled-up sexual desires have to do with being more experimental with the sex you two have? Maybe it has to do with creating more intimacy during sex? Ask him to read a book with you that explores your sexuality as a couple. Maybe it’s erotica or maybe it’s instructional … whatever floats your boat. Each night (in bed) you read one or two chapters, discuss it and how it might or might not apply to you and your sex life. This is the perfect occasion to discuss likes, dislikes and even maybe’s. It’s also a great opportunity to get you both talking about what turns you on, your fantasies and some techniques you want to try. Excellent reads to start with are: The Enlightened Sex Manual: Sexual Skills for the Superior Lover by David Deida, the aforementioned How To Be A Great Lover by Lou Paget and Nina Hartley’s Guide to Total Sex by Nina Hartley. If erotica is more your thing, there’s a ton to choose from. I have a particular fondness for The Big Book of Orgasms:69 Sexy Stories by Rachel Kramer Bussel (I have a story in it), and anything by Kristina Wright and Anais Nin.

GO LITE: Last but not least, try the lighter version of your desire and see how he/she reacts. If you’re interested in trying a little bondage, holding his hands over his head while you’re on top to see if he likes the feeling of surrender. Maybe whip out the sleep mask before you introduce the idea of a blindfold? If she responds positively you can mention that maybe next time she’d like to feel her hands bound by a something silky? A plush paddle? Handcuffs? Interested in trying Tantra but think he might be intimidated by it’s mystical reputation? What could be more innocuous than breathing? Look up some simple tantric breathing exercises and choose one that works for you (e.g.; The Fire Breath). Suggest that the two of you do this exercise before foreplay to “get in the zone.” Just by easing a simple action into your routine, you might be surprised how happy he will be to oblige …  and how eager he’ll be to please.

If your partner is resistant to any of your ideas, let them know that your only hope is that you might make sex between you two more intense, fun and even more intimate. After all, relationships take work and this is the most fun and scintillating type of “work” your relationship will ever have do. Regardless, at the end of the day it’s important to remember that fantasies and exploring your sexual desires are an essential part of a healthy sex life. The more comfortable you are with your own sensuality and sexuality, compliments and translates how you are in the bedroom. Respecting and expressing your partner’s needs in a responsible and loving way build a persons sexual confidence. Never forget that YOU are in charge of your own sexuality and you deserve an exciting, sensual and communicative sex life!

A version of this story originally appeared on www.EvolvedWorld.com.

 

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Sales on prostate stimulators and the Evi kegel exerciser!

Sales on prostate stimulators and the Evi kegel exerciser!

Please Cream Hybrid Lube

Please Cream Hybrid Lube

Jan 092014
 

the_pleasure_chest_logo_08-1

We were delighted to have sex educator Lady Cheeky at our Los Angeles store last night, teaching her body positive workshop Big Beautiful Sex. She shared her insights about overcoming fat-shaming, building sexual confidence, and finding the toys and positions that work best for your body. The workshop was such a big hit that we want to share the highlights with all of you!

Tips for Learning to Feel Sexy

Remember this: ”The person there with you in the room – they want to be there.”

“To feel better about having sex, you have to have sex.” Notice how confident you are while you’re afterglowing, and bask in that confidence.

Take time to touch the parts of your body that you normally want to hide in ways that feel pleasurable.

If you look in the mirror and think that you look ugly, replace that with a neutral observation: “I have red hair.”

Try going to a Korean spa. Everyone is walking around naked: you get to just be another body.

Notice how you judge other people’s looks. Try to be more compassionate in your thoughts. You’ll train yourself to be nicer to yourself.

Finding Your Favorite Toys

Try a longer toy that gives you some extra reach:

- The Magic Wand Original is an unbeatably powerful vibe.

- The Njoy Pure Wand may look like “a Star Trek torture device,” but it’s everyone’s favorite G-spot/prostate toy.

 

To read the rest, CLICK HERE

Nov 062013
 
sexinwords_logo_smallI first met Toronto area sex journalist Jon Pressick on online (of course) when his Tweet made me blush. I don’t remember the circumstance, but I know making me blush ain’t easy.

sexinwords_logo_small

A fan of his popular sex blog SEX IN WORDS, I would often retweet /re-blog some (ok ALL) of what he posted on his site. We struck up a conversation, he interviewed me for his weekly feature “TheHook-up” and a friendship was born.
sexinwords_logo_small
It’s not enough that Jon’s a sexual encyclopedia, but he is also an accomplished erotic Renaissance man. He’s a radio host, published erotica writer and anthologist/editor of Cleis Press’ “The Best Sex Writing” with his first of those anthologies coming out in 2015. He definitely qualifies as a “Smutty Smarty of Sex,” if anyone knows sexy accoutrements it would be Jon. So, for male-bodied folk … get a a pen and paper handy.
Here are Jon Pressick’s “Five Sex Toys and a Lube.”

 

Five Sex Toys …

Aslan Leather Harness: I’ve had this strap-on harness by Toronto’s own Aslan Leather for almost a decade and I imagine I’ll have it for a lot longer. These rigs are built to last and built for fun.

Fleshlight: I was very skeptical given the mass popularity. Call me silly, but I just didn’t imagine it would feel that good. It does feel that good. And so much better. Believe that hype.

Extra-Long Dog Leashes: We aren’t extensively into bondage, but when we do want to ‘tie one on,’ I like some flexibility and options of where and how we can bind each other on the bed. For a total $4 we have a leash on each corner of the bed. I am all about the DIY sex toys. Hence…

IKEA 3-Piece Wooden Utensils: Again, I’m all about the DIY. This 3-piece set of wooden tools: a spoon, a fork thing and a spatula thing. All three make for great little spanking scenes and all three give a different sensation.

Sex Butter: Another item I was skeptical of when I received a sample of for review. But now I’m moaning that I’m almost out and can’t quite afford the replacement cost. But I love the slippery, minty feel.

… and a lube.

Sliquid Natural’s Swirl Blue Raspberry: This lube is just amazing. I am not keen on scented oils or lubes but this one smells so nice. Very pleasant and not at all overpowering. And because it is Sliquid I get the bonus of it being water-based and glycerin and paraben free.

pressickJon Pressick is a Toronto-area writer whose focus is on sex and queer writing and issues. His mission is to disseminate positive, fun and informative sexual information.

Jon’s writing has appeared in Best Sex WritingCorset, MetAnotherFrog.com,Quill & QuireGaietyXtrafab and many erotica websites. He writes regularly for his popular blog Sex In Words. He edited Met Another Frog’s first collection, Asses to Asses. He is the editor of Cleis Press’s Best Sex Writing series, and the long-time co-host and producer of the weekly radio show Sex City (CIUT 89.5FM). For his web and radio work, Jon was named The Naked Truth Adult Entertainment Award winner for Favorite Adult Journalist in 2010.

Jon has been Managing Editor of Bisexual.com and SexlifeCanada.com. In 2000, he co-founded the influential queer periodical TRADE: Queer Things. During TRADE‘s seven years of production, Jon focused on profiling and promoting sex- and queer-positive writers, activists, artists and creators. Jon subsequently authored the Choose Your Own Sex Adventure erotica story books. These two projects (and many more) contributed to Jon being named one of Broken Pencil‘s “50 People and Places We Love“—a who’s who of important indie folks in Canada.

Jon organizes the Toronto Erotica Writers and Readers Meetup and #TOsexbloggers Meetup.  He is a sought-after presenter at sex and sexuality events, where he has spoken about anal sex and prostate pleasure. He is a graduate of McMaster University and has a certificate in book publishing from Ryerson Polytechnic University. He has two daughters.

For more information: visit Sex In Words (http://www/sex-in-words.blogspot.ca), send an email (sexinwords@hotmail.com) or follow Jon on Twitter @sexinwords)

Oct 252013
 
Metis_Headshot_4-08_web

Metis Black is one of those names you hear in the sex-positive world that inspires reverence. Principled and unwavering in her ideal of quality sex toys, Metis started a conversation about body-safe materials which quickly turned into a revolution … that revolution begat her company Tantus, Inc. 

Metis believes in basic sex toys that get the job done, without all bright and sparkly finery that some enjoy. Simple, well-made toys that are free of any chemicals that might be harmful to your health. More than just a manufacturer though, Metis believes in good sex education an follows that up with a comprehensive section on the Tantus, Inc. website. Chock full of articles on how to find a sex-positive doctor to her own panel on toxic toys at the sex education conference CatalystCon it’s clear her commitment to supporting and informing her customers about sex is important. In fact, just yesterday Tantus announced that veteran sex educator and author of “Sex with the Lights On” Ducky Doolittle has come aboard to to be Tantus Education Coordinator. Ducky will be performing workshops on behalf of Tantus and providing trainings for retail customers and distributors among other duties. The hiring of Ducky Doolittle to represent the Tantus brand and it’s beliefs is further confirmation to me, that Metis is committed to sex education just as much as she is to safe, fun and beautiful toys.

So what kind of products does Metis choose to occupy her own nightstand? I’ll let her tell you …

Five Sex Toys …

Since 1998, as founder and president of Tantus Inc., I’ve been on the forefront of sexual education and safe effective sex toys as an industry leader. And yes, I’m a toy slut. Not many people in the industry will admit that, a significant amount don’t even play with toys, but I have always got my eye out for what is intriguing, and I own a vast collection of amazing sex toys.

What I’m not is a techno buyer. I have two Violet Wands (one a German deluxe model and one that was my Great-Grandmother’s from the 20’s), an e-stim machine because someone wanted us to make products for it, but I don’t tend to have much interest in the typical multispeed rotational internal devices. Vibratex was amazing in they gave me three different rabbit” style vibrators to try back in the day- one which actually worked for me, but it taught me that bells and whistles just really aren’t for everyone and definitely they aren’t for me. I don’t appreciate internal vibration at all and external vibration for me needs to be powerful. I keep only one battery style vibrator near my bed and it’s a titanium bodied vibrator, powered by 3 lithium batteries, created by a company Elemental Pleasures who unfortunately isn’t around anymore. (*I found the site and it appears the company has reappeared and you can purchase their vibrators HERE - LC)

I LOVE dildos and butt plugs, and while a basic dildo didn’t make my top 5 list, it would be a realistic silicone dildo that was 5 3/8” diameter. (*Personally, I love (and use) my Tantus Echo Vibrator as a dildo :) – LC)

Five Favorite Toys …

1.      Black Widow Connoisseur Harness* by Tantus (SheVibe is pre-selling) –  This is the harness I’ve wanted from the first time I strapped one on. It’s got HUGE attitude and it feels so amazing against my body. You really have to feel the quality of the leather and see the detailing close up. In honesty this line has been in the works since 2002, so Tantus took it’s time until we could really do it right and I’m pretty sure everyone will agree— we did. (* I saw this in person and you are going to LOVE how it feels. – LC)

2.      Saturn by Inner Space - Ray Cirino is an amazing designer who is legendary. He designed all the toys for the centerfolds of the old Penthouse magazines back when the budget was significant. My favorite of those shoots was a gilded bird cage theme with butt plugs with feather plumes, He was one of the first people making body safe products out of quality materials, Lucite and steel, and explaining why he chose the materials he did. He played with the toys and he could tell you intimately why each design was what it was. The toy is no longer available and he’s gone on to work on designs for sustainability projects, but he is one of the grandfathers of sex toy design. I traded Ray a Bend Over Beginner Kit for mine.

3.      Ryder plug by Tantus - The Ryder just really does meet all my criteria for what a plug should be. It took us three prototypes to get the curve from the shoulders to the neck exactly right- but we did it. I’ve never played with a plug that was so comfortable going in, or coming out.

4.      Pure Wand by Njoy - Greg DeLong is another one of those amazing designers that actually plays with toys and loves what he does. I was lucky to be introduced with Greg as he was meeting with the buyers from Babeland back in 2004. In fact the buyer brought me into the meeting. I’ve always loved playing with metal toys, but until Greg came they were all industrial, made for men. Greg made them elegant. The Pure Wand is pure genius.

5.      Plug Ins - I have three plug in vibrators in my dresser drawer. A Magic Wand, an Erosillator and a 7 in 1 Wahl. The one I use most often is The Magic Wand, but the one I recommend most to others, especially women who’ve never orgasmed, is the Wahl. The coil vibrator gets the job done, is inexpensive and very reliable. It’s also available where the other products aren’t. I think it’s the best beginner toy and it sets you up for a lifetime of savvy sex toy connoisseurship.

… and a lube.

You are going to get me in trouble with this because all the high quality lube manufacturers are dear friends— I used to write a lot of industry articles on lubricants. I’m going to have to say Pjur because I love silicone lubricant and their Light Love is just luxuriant. Also Richie Harris, President of Pjur USA, was the first person in the industry who was selling silicone lubricant and explaining to the industry why silicone. Others started producing silicone lube because Richie was doing such amazing business

Metis_Headshot_4-08_webAbout Tantus

Tantus was founded on the belief that each person has the right to a healthy sex life and that sexual health encompasses many aspects of physical and mental well-being. Tantus was one of those companies who changed an entire industry and believes we must listen to our past to pave our future. Tantus believes that a foundation of education will help people live better and happier lives. Tantus believes that our past obligates us to a stewardship for the future of sexual health. Tantus believes that our products and brand should be driven by passion and integrity. Tantus believes that the simple approach is usually the right approach. Tantus believes that with the right people at the right job we can accomplish anything.

CONTACT: 

Twitter: @Tantus
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/tantus
Web: www.tantusinc.com

magic-wand

The Magic Wand

Ryder Plug from Tantus

Ryder Plug from Tantus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus (pre-sale from SHEVIBE.COM)

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

bodyglide-light-love

Pjur Bodyglide Light Love

 

 

 

Oct 252013
 
Metis_Headshot_4-08_web

Metis Black is one of those names you hear in the sex-positive world that inspires reverence. Principled and unwavering in her ideal of quality sex toys, Metis started a conversation about body-safe materials which quickly turned into a revolution … that revolution begat her company Tantus, Inc. 

Metis believes in basic sex toys that get the job done, without all bright and sparkly finery that some enjoy. Simple, well-made toys that are free of any chemicals that might be harmful to your health. More than just a manufacturer though, Metis believes in good sex education an follows that up with a comprehensive section on the Tantus, Inc. website. Chock full of articles on how to find a sex-positive doctor to her own panel on toxic toys at the sex education conference CatalystCon it’s clear her commitment to supporting and informing her customers about sex is important. In fact, just yesterday Tantus announced that veteran sex educator and author of “Sex with the Lights On” Ducky Doolittle has come aboard to to be Tantus Education Coordinator. Ducky will be performing workshops on behalf of Tantus and providing trainings for retail customers and distributors among other duties. The hiring of Ducky Doolittle to represent the Tantus brand and it’s beliefs is further confirmation to me, that Metis is committed to sex education just as much as she is to safe, fun and beautiful toys.

So what kind of products does Metis choose to occupy her own nightstand? I’ll let her tell you …

Five Sex Toys …

Since 1998, as founder and president of Tantus Inc., I’ve been on the forefront of sexual education and safe effective sex toys as an industry leader. And yes, I’m a toy slut. Not many people in the industry will admit that, a significant amount don’t even play with toys, but I have always got my eye out for what is intriguing, and I own a vast collection of amazing sex toys.

What I’m not is a techno buyer. I have two Violet Wands (one a German deluxe model and one that was my Great-Grandmother’s from the 20’s), an e-stim machine because someone wanted us to make products for it, but I don’t tend to have much interest in the typical multispeed rotational internal devices. Vibratex was amazing in they gave me three different rabbit” style vibrators to try back in the day- one which actually worked for me, but it taught me that bells and whistles just really aren’t for everyone and definitely they aren’t for me. I don’t appreciate internal vibration at all and external vibration for me needs to be powerful. I keep only one battery style vibrator near my bed and it’s a titanium bodied vibrator, powered by 3 lithium batteries, created by a company Elemental Pleasures who unfortunately isn’t around anymore. (*I found the site and it appears the company has reappeared and you can purchase their vibrators HERE - LC)

I LOVE dildos and butt plugs, and while a basic dildo didn’t make my top 5 list, it would be a realistic silicone dildo that was 5 3/8” diameter. (*Personally, I love (and use) my Tantus Echo Vibrator as a dildo :) – LC)

Five Favorite Toys …

1.      Black Widow Connoisseur Harness* by Tantus (SheVibe is pre-selling) –  This is the harness I’ve wanted from the first time I strapped one on. It’s got HUGE attitude and it feels so amazing against my body. You really have to feel the quality of the leather and see the detailing close up. In honesty this line has been in the works since 2002, so Tantus took it’s time until we could really do it right and I’m pretty sure everyone will agree— we did. (* I saw this in person and you are going to LOVE how it feels. – LC)

2.      Saturn by Inner Space - Ray Cirino is an amazing designer who is legendary. He designed all the toys for the centerfolds of the old Penthouse magazines back when the budget was significant. My favorite of those shoots was a gilded bird cage theme with butt plugs with feather plumes, He was one of the first people making body safe products out of quality materials, Lucite and steel, and explaining why he chose the materials he did. He played with the toys and he could tell you intimately why each design was what it was. The toy is no longer available and he’s gone on to work on designs for sustainability projects, but he is one of the grandfathers of sex toy design. I traded Ray a Bend Over Beginner Kit for mine.

3.      Ryder plug by Tantus - The Ryder just really does meet all my criteria for what a plug should be. It took us three prototypes to get the curve from the shoulders to the neck exactly right- but we did it. I’ve never played with a plug that was so comfortable going in, or coming out.

4.      Pure Wand by Njoy - Greg DeLong is another one of those amazing designers that actually plays with toys and loves what he does. I was lucky to be introduced with Greg as he was meeting with the buyers from Babeland back in 2004. In fact the buyer brought me into the meeting. I’ve always loved playing with metal toys, but until Greg came they were all industrial, made for men. Greg made them elegant. The Pure Wand is pure genius.

5.      Plug Ins - I have three plug in vibrators in my dresser drawer. A Magic Wand, an Erosillator and a 7 in 1 Wahl. The one I use most often is The Magic Wand, but the one I recommend most to others, especially women who’ve never orgasmed, is the Wahl. The coil vibrator gets the job done, is inexpensive and very reliable. It’s also available where the other products aren’t. I think it’s the best beginner toy and it sets you up for a lifetime of savvy sex toy connoisseurship.

… and a lube.

You are going to get me in trouble with this because all the high quality lube manufacturers are dear friends— I used to write a lot of industry articles on lubricants. I’m going to have to say Pjur because I love silicone lubricant and their Light Love is just luxuriant. Also Richie Harris, President of Pjur USA, was the first person in the industry who was selling silicone lubricant and explaining to the industry why silicone. Others started producing silicone lube because Richie was doing such amazing business

Metis_Headshot_4-08_webAbout Tantus

Tantus was founded on the belief that each person has the right to a healthy sex life and that sexual health encompasses many aspects of physical and mental well-being. Tantus was one of those companies who changed an entire industry and believes we must listen to our past to pave our future. Tantus believes that a foundation of education will help people live better and happier lives. Tantus believes that our past obligates us to a stewardship for the future of sexual health. Tantus believes that our products and brand should be driven by passion and integrity. Tantus believes that the simple approach is usually the right approach. Tantus believes that with the right people at the right job we can accomplish anything.

CONTACT: 

Twitter: @Tantus
Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/tantus
Web: www.tantusinc.com

magic-wand

The Magic Wand

Ryder Plug from Tantus

Ryder Plug from Tantus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

The Eroscillator 2 Plus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus

Black Widow Harness from Tantus (pre-sale from SHEVIBE.COM)

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Wahl 7 in 1 Massager

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

Bend Over Beginner Kit from Tantus

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

bodyglide-light-love

Pjur Bodyglide Light Love

 

 

 

Oct 162013
 

“We’re All Perverts”: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality with Christopher Ryan

Published on Oct 14, 2013 by ReasonTV on YouTube

Humanist_March_Apr11.indd“If you look at us as a species, we’re not very impressive,” says author Christopher Ryan. “What we’re good at is forming complex social networks.”

Christopher Ryan sits down with Reason contributor Thaddeus Russell to discuss his book, Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality. Together with Cacilda Jethá, Ryan has written about the history of human sexuality and why we should fight against “socially imposed restrictions.” By looking at archaeology, primate biology, human physiology, and anthropological studies of pre-agricultural tribes from around the world, Ryan says we aren’t meant to be in life-long monogamous unions. Watch the video above as Russel and Ryan discuss desire, jealousy and the harmful consequences of repressing healthy sexuality.  About 27 mins.

Oct 152013
 

The Pleasure Chest wants you to know that SEX IS BACK.

sexisbackLast March at CatalystCon East, The Pleasure Chest was set up in conference room with a digital camera, lights and a directive: to ask people about their sex lives for their SEX IS BACK project. I took part, as did a lot of way more fascinating, interesting people including some of the sex-positive community’s most illustrious icons like; Tristan Taormino, Maria Falzone, Jessica Drake, Buck Angel and Megan Andelloux. It’s affirming and inspiring in so many ways to hear how others, discovering their kinky sidelost their virginity,  had an embarrassing sex mishap, the best sex tips and accept who they are. Mine is below, but there’s even more sexy goodness on the SEX IS BACK site so check it out: SEX IS BACK

 

Oct 152013
 
ashley0043

imageedit_2_6414370942-1

ashley0043

“THANK GOD ASHLEY MANTA MOVED TO CALIFORNIA FROM PHILLY.”

I’m not certain there’s a day that goes by where that sentence doesn’t leave my lips.

I had the good fortune to be on a sexuality and body image panel with Ashley Manta at CatalystCon West last month. Enthusiastic and eager she brought an exceptional skill-set and work ethic to the ta

ble, as well as a sense of humor and a vast compendium of knowledge.

Wise beyond her years, Ashley Manta is a sex-ed phenom. Erotic Hypnosis anyone? With a certification in hypnosis, Ashley’s your gal. Erotic hypnosis whilst discussing Shoepenhauer? Ashley has a Masters in Philosophy, so you’re covered.

Active in the Los Angeles sex-positive and Sex Geekdom communities, Ashley  advocates for a well-informed, sex-educated public, particularly around herpes awareness, body image issues and sexual abuse .

She also bakes a mean cupcake with buttercream frosting.

Like most sex educators, Ashley has a ton of toys (She has to. It’s her JOB). I asked her to pick five favorites and a lube and this is what she gave me:

 Five Sex Toys …

1. Fun Factory Stronic Eins – This toy actually thrusts! It’s a powerful silicone insertable and at the very top of my wish list! It curves slightly at the tip to reach the g-spot and the thrusting motion give the g-spot a pleasant massage that is both pleasurable and relaxing.

2. Tantus Juice - You can’t go wrong with Tantus toys, and this one is no exception! It has a gradually increasing thickness that is both pleasurable and non-threatening for beginners. Love it! As with all anal toys, this should be used with copious amounts of lube. Think you have enough? Use more.

3. Lelo Siri – I love this clitoral vibe. It’s great to use during penetrative sex because it can fit securely between two bodies without being unwieldy. Plus it’s silicone. (Are we noticing a trend? It’s true – I am a silicone addict)

4. Njoy Pure Wand – Taking a quick departure from silicone toys – I LOVE this toy. I had never enjoyed g-spot stimulation until I tried this toy. The combination of shape and the weight of this toy is fantastic! It feels delicious as you insert it, and once it’s in, everything you do feels great! Seriously: thrust it, twist it, vibrate it, whatever you do, this toy will provide pleasure.

5. Bandit Dildo – Made of incredible VixSkin (if you haven’t tried this material, you’re missing out!), this toy has a deliciously realistic feel. It’s also a good size to fit into most harnesses (I love the new Tantus line of harnesses that have velcro side closure and deliciously supple leather that looks AND feels sexy!)

 and a LUBE …

Sliquid - I avoid any lube that contains Glycerin or Parabens. That takes a lot of them off the table, unfortunately. Thankfully, the entire Sliquid line is glycerin and paraben free. Their anal lube doesn’t use any desensitizing agents (pain is there for a reason!) and their flavored lubes are sugar free so that they won’t cause yeast infections. This line is great quality and affordable. I love them all!

CIMG5780

Fun Factory Stronic Eins

Unknown

Tantus Juice Plug

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lelo Siri

Lelo Siri

Unknown-1

Bandit Dildo

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NJoy Pure Wand

NJoy Pure Wand

Sliquid

Sliquid

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

About Ashley Manta:

ashley0043

Ashley Manta is a sex positive feminist and sexuality educator. She works as a staff writer on topics of sexuality, relationships, and empowerment for the online magazines Evolved World and Kinkly. She is a regular contributor for the Herpes Opportunity, a website and forum that provides support for people living with herpes. She currently sits on the Board of Directors for Voices, Incorporated, a non-profit designed to support survivors of sexual violence. She is also the West Coast Advisor for the Women’s Circle Project, a non-profit geared toward empowering women to become tomorrow’s leaders. Her mission is to empower others and foster personal, relational, and sexual growth. Through one on one coaching, workshops, and hypnosis for stress management, confidence, and motivation she endeavors to help others take control of their lives and make progress in their personal journey.

You can contact Ashley at:

Email: Ashley@AshleyManta.com

Twitter: @ashleymanta

Website: www.AshleyManta.com

Oct 122013
 

tumblr_ludca9CUwQ1r2t9z1o1_500 Originally published on gasm.org on October 11, 2013

At the end of her sexless marriage, Elle Chase went on a journey to seek the one thing she never had. This is the story of what she found.

Recently, after turning 40 and leaving a sexless marriage, I had come to the sobering realization I had never experienced “passion.” In fact, I had never identified myself as a sexual being at all and furthermore, never had pleasurable sex. I ruminated over this discovery and stunned, thought “how is it possible to reach my fortieth year never enjoying sex?” The thought was staggering, “This can’t go on” I said with determination, and made it my number one goal to achieve a fully realized and satisfied sex life … fast.

But what’s a middle-aged woman to do? I was well past the age when most women experiment, I hadn’t dated in ten years and to be honest, “dating” wasn’t interesting to me … unbridled, sweaty, sticky, lustful sex was. I was overwhelmed with what it would take to reach my goal. Where do I even start? I’m not even certain what turns me on!

Thinking back to my teenage years, I remembered that the soft-core porn of the 80’s gave me a certain tickle down-under and that I had come many times to the beautiful works of Anais Nin. The boys of that time watched porn, but these venues were socially acceptable in my circle and readily discussed with my girlfriends. But, right now my sexual thirst was so great I knew these past favorites wouldn’t satisfy. I was parched after years in the desert. I needed to take out the big guns. So, I took the leap. Contrite, I logged online and looked for a tall glass of water.

The World Wide Web offered many choices; gonzo porn, amateur porn … Click HERE to go to GASM.ORG to read the rest

Sep 302013
 

Scientists-Reveal-Average-Penis-Size-In-Recent-Studyby Melissa White       (originally posted in Huffington Post Women on 09/26/2013 5:55 pm)
Condom Expert, CEO & Founder of Lucky Bloke

(Check out my quote in this article!)

It truly is all about the size of the package — but not in the way that you might think.

It’s time to take a stand: regarding penis size, and what it means to be a sexually desirable man.

A large penis doesn’t make a man a great kisser, fill him with sensuality and passion, make his partner feel loved or safe – nor guarantee that he is a remotely competent lover.

It’s often ignored that the largest sex organ we have is our brain. The brain, which it happens, is also bombarded with distorted messaging on what makes a man, a man.

And it starts at an increasingly early age. The way men and their bodies are portrayed in mass media deeply affects their lives.

There are over a million men in the U.S. with serious eating disorders. Perhaps more revealing, is a figure from a recent UK study, which found 1 out of 3 men would sacrifice a year of their life in exchange for their ideal body.

I began speaking to men in my circle, as well as to Lucky Bloke customers, about these findings, and then took it to Facebook:

“Gentlemen, how many years would you be willing to sacrifice, in exchange for your ideal body? How many for your ideal penis?”

The responses given indicated …

To read the rest, click HERE

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