Apr 242014
 
Originally Posted on www.AntoniaCrane.com  
images-3As usual, I drifted off to the True Crime channel at 3a.m. after stripping for 13 hours straight then L and I slept in a double bed in the Motel 6 off Highway 111 to save some dough. L sleeps exactly like me; I don’t even hear her breathe. She’s stiff and still and silent. We are like a couple of bruised dead dolls slathered with anti-aging eye cream, fantasizing about stalkers and sociopaths teeming in the parking lot below us, after our purses stuffed with stripper bills. But for once, that Motel 6 was quiet.

Our room was hot and stuffy in the morning and the door was stuck, so I used the wall for leverage and pulled hard. Outside, snow-capped mountains towered against a pristine blue sky. Palm trees lined a packed parking lot. I thought I recognized a customer from the club the night before, walking his dog on the lawn. He called me “Humboldt” all night then in a drunken stupor, asked me to be his Valentine.

Stripping has never flattered my real romantic relationships. It makes them look like fat neglect machines, poking holes in my pincushion heart. While guys in strip clubs shower me with easy, unconditional adoration, my real relationships are tense and difficult. Lately, I’ve been filling up my empty wallet and my emotional well with knee-jerk marriage proposals from strangers. I’m not saying it’s right, but I’m grateful to have found Desert Showgirls; at least, my ego is.

L is my stripper spirit guide. She knows where to go and I listen, pack my survival kit and hit the trail. Years ago, she swore by New Orleans, so after a bloody Mongol fist fight broke out at an Italian restaurant (that also illegally allowed us to strip) near Pasadena, I borrowed $200 for a one-way plane ticket and spent the next three years falling madly in love with NOLA and the clubs that embraced me there. Ever since then, I follow L’s lead. The best place to strip in LA is not in LA at all but near Palm Springs in a nondescript strip mall. Desert Showgirls is the Snickers Bar of strip clubs: Generic and dark on the outside, creamy gold mine on the inside. And like most places of ill repute, it’s near an adult video store and shares a parking lot with a suspiciously vacant cigar shop and a very good Mexican restaurant that keeps unpredictable hours.

A strip dancer performs for customers at the Mons Venus strip club in Tampa

Unlike San Francisco, dancing in LA has always sucked. After dropping the drunken girls off at their overpriced apartments in Hollywood, I wondered why I didn’t go put on a skirt and wait tables at Swingers instead. Actually, I knew why. I’m a terrible waitress, but a great stripper. The two jobs are similar but different. Both jobs require being nice to rude, demanding people and having superb listening skills. But, I have no instinct for that perfect balance of timing and attention to detail when it comes to serving food. However, I am acutely aware of other hungers: the desire to be desired and the need to be heard. And In twenty years of stripping, I’ve always been a night girl, never a day shift girl, but now I see the benefit of being the one girl on the floor at noon. Day shift guys are different. They seem sadder, sneaky and more stoned which can attract a strange breed of clientele, like Jerry, the man who cried while I gave him a lap dance.

No matter what time of day, strip clubs invite a heightened sense of suffering and affection, kind of like kissing the hand of someone dying; meeting their suffering head on and dancing with it, like last Saturday, when Jerry cried during our lap dance.

In issue #441 of The Sun, Janna Malamud Smith recalls psychoanalyst Jonathan Lear’s belief that we are “finite erotic creatures.” Meaning, we dangle on a tight rope between our “expansive desire and our inevitable death.” We Strippers shimmy to that tune. We experience the world through erotic movement and connection and that movement is towards our death.

Antonia AcraneAn older dude in a bright red sweatshirt kept calling me “honey.” He followed me around the empty club, so I had to deal with him.
It was about 4p.m. and he was shitfaced.
“Honey,” he growled. “I’m sixty-four years old. I’ve been to clubs all over the world. I saw Jim Morrison perform in public for the first time.”

“Oh yeah? Where was that?”

“The Rainbow Room. He was scared.”

“Scared of what?”

“Performing in public. What’s the matter, Honey. You too cool to dance for me?”

“I’m about to go on stage right now,” I lied. “You like Pink Floyd? Led Zeppelin or the Stones?”

“Oh, Miss Attitude is too cool, huh.”

A petite brunette finally joined me on the floor. I told her Jerry was looking to spend some money. She refused to talk to him. He stunk. He was rude. He was shitfaced.

“I’ll dance for him, so he’ll leave,” I said and pulled him into the VIP area, slightly worried he didn’t have enough cash on him to pay me.

He grabbed my hands when I took his glasses off his head.
“What is wrong with you?” I whispered, my mouth brushed his ear.

“I love women. Been married four times and they always leave me.”

“Why is that?” I asked.

“I cheat. I get bored. I hate women.” Tears streamed down both of his cheeks.

I kept dancing and he kept crying. At the end of the song I said, “I’m not taking any more of your money, Jerry.”

“Keep dancing,” he said, still crying.

“Fuck you, Jerry. Go smoke.” I snatched his cigarettes, phone and his cocktail, his headphones and his wallet.

“Listen honey.”

“Get up. We’re going.” He over tipped me by fifty bucks and I walked towards the door where guys could duck outside and smoke.

The bouncer walked up to us. “Your cab’s here sir.” I kissed Jerry good bye on his wet cheek.

imagesAntonia Crane’s work has appeared in: The Rumpus, Salon.com, DAME Magazine, Black Clock, SLAKE, Word RiotPANK, The Whistling Fire, The Coachella Review, Phantom Seed, Smith Magazine, Diverse Voices Quarterly and lots of other places. She holds an MFA in Fiction from Antioch University. She wrote a memoir about the sex industry and her mother’s illness: SPENT and is one of the editors of The Citron Review. She teaches Creative Writing to at-risk teens for Write Girl and Woodcraft Rangers. She lives in Los Angeles where she runs, tweets and blogs.  Check her out on … Twitter: @AntoniaCrane  Web: www.AntoniaCrane.com

Jan 202014
 
 January 20, 2014  1 Response »
Jan 172014
 
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I happen to live in Los Angeles where being over a size 8 is a felony. This can be depressing when I am searching for a cute bathing suit or a stylish pair of jeans in a city that considers the ‘norm’ a size 2. At those times I like to remind myself that the average dress size for women across America and the UK is a size 14 and that a size 2 is more an aberration than the norm. However, it’s disappointing to note that at size 14, those average women are also considered “plus size”, labeling them in a category that, in this media ridden age, might send a woman’s ego to the back of the proverbial bus. This size stereotyping (especially in metropolitan cities like Los Angeles and New York City) can compound the list of reasons why single “plus size” woman are intimidated by dating and sex.

I have found that a lot of my single friends complain they can’t find a nice guy or even a good lover. When I suggest online dating, taking a class or going to events to meet a guy, I almost universally hear “maybe when I lose some weight” as the first excuse not to engage. It seems that no matter what we look like, women are always first to dissuade themselves from dating by knocking their perceived physical shortcomings. This kind of dysmorphic thinking doesn’t discriminate it seems, women of all shapes and sizes do it. Though being a “plus sized” woman has its challenges, dating shouldn’t be one of them. In fact, as a plus sized woman myself, I had to get past my own mental lambasting and take a leap of faith, even though at the time I still hated my body. It’s not easy to do but it IS possible.

When I made the decision to start dating again after my divorce, I had to examine my history with my body image. My whole teen and adult life I was lead to believe, through society, other women and some really immature boys, that my body was “less than” because it had more lumps, bumps and curves than the women portrayed in television, film, advertising, fashion magazines (including Seventeen magazine which can be horribly destructive to a young woman’s ego) and the like. Add to that the unconscious conditioning I received from my well-meaning mother and I was set up to fail.

I thought about all the women this kind of conditioning affects, as most women do not have “perfect” bodies and have even less perfect body images. It was interesting to me that regardless of size, all the women I knew loathed portions, if not all of their bodies. Not only does this affect quality of life in general, it substantially affects a healthy sex life. So what can we, as women, do to begin to accept the parts of us that we have heretofore shamed ourselves into hating?

Rebecca Jane Weinstein, Lawyer, Social Worker and Author, was told by her grandmother at nine years old that no man would ever love her because she was fat. So started Ms. Weinstein on her journey of figuring out her womanhood on her own. She relates her pilgrimage to satisfying sex in her book Fat Sex: The Naked Truth.  I asked Ms. Weinstein what her advice would be to plus-sized women who are trying to feel more confident sexually. Here is her answer:

“In interviewing the many large sized women I have about body image and sexuality, I have found a common thread.  When a woman feels sexy, she projects sexy, and men (or other women) find her sexy.  This seems almost simplistic, and it is, in a sense.  Perception is everything, particularly self-perception.  What is not simplistic is coming to that realization and then internalizing those feelings.  Women seem to find that place in themselves two ways.  First is personality.  Some of us are just lucky to have an inner core of confidence that has no clear genesis.  It just exists.  But even women who aren’t so lucky to be somehow born with the “I feel sexy” gene, seem to be able to learn to feel sexy.  The key is listening and believing when you are told you are attractive and that someone is attracted to you.  So often we are told such a thing, and every available evidence supports it (like there is a person lying next to us in a bed), and yet we don’t believe it.  We must overcome that disbelief.  It is not easy when all the societal messages tell us fat is not sexy.  But those messages come from disreputable sources – mostly people trying to sell us stuff.  They want us to feel badly about ourselves so we will buy diets and cosmetics and clothing and medical procedures.  Those people are liars.  The ones telling us the truth are sharing our beds and our hearts.  It is them we must believe.  And the truth is, even if there is no one giving those positive messages, telling ourselves works too.  When you feel sexy, you project sexy, and others find you sexy.  It’s not so important how you tumblr_mfma65kGMu1rrgft7o1_500get there, but that you get there.”

She’s right.

I had a lover once with whom I had some of the most erotic, connected, exciting and sensual sex of my life (some of our exploits are detailed on my erotica site www.smutforsmarties.com) and I was considered plus-sized at the time. Though I felt confident that he wanted me, I still didn’t feel comfortable in my body. Still, before our first tryst I panicked about how he would react to actually seeing me naked.  Would he still want me when he saw my overflowing stomach and flabby thighs? I was terrified.

When we first got together I was so ashamed of my physique that I kept my nightie on thinking “maybe he won’t notice my fat.” Though, in contrast to what the little devil on my shoulder was whispering in my ear (“you’re disgusting,” “you should be ashamed to think he wants you”,) my lover couldn’t have been more effusive and complimentary about how seduced he was by my body. He continued to sincerely voice how attracted to me he was, yet I kept that nightie on for two months until I “believed” he was really yearning for me. What in the world did he have to do to get me to believe him? The answer is “nothing.” The issue was with me and my own narrative about my body. I used the shame and the humiliation I took on from others’ opinions about body size during my childhood and young womanhood to inform my ability to receive full pleasure in the moment. What a shame.

Later on in our relationship, figuring a bigger gal was his bag, I brought up the subject of a woman’s body type and asked him if he had always been attracted to plus-sized women. For me, his answer was revolutionary. My lover explained that body shape or size had nothing at all to do with his attraction to a woman. To him, a woman’s physical appeal (among other things like chemistry, personality, intelligence, etc.) was based on how sexual/sensual the woman was. He continued, that when a woman felt she was a sensual being and was confident about her sexuality, that it drove him wild. “I could be lying in bed with a supermodel but if she didn’t own her own sexuality I would be completely limp,” he said. Furthermore, the men he knew in his life felt the same way. He continued by saying that those same men were often frustrated with the fact that women in general don’t own their bodies and often let it get in the way of “letting go and enjoying the moment.”  Again, revolutionary to me. I thought back to when I was praying he wouldn’t notice my fat and thought “Wow. If I were just able to let go and take in that he was having sex with me because he WANTED to and was ATTRACTED to me, I would have enjoyed myself so much more.”  The change needed to start with me.  I needed to give myself a break. If it was true that he found me physically attractive then it was equally true that other men would as well. It was clear, I needed to start accepting my body as is, otherwise I would be living a lonely existence waiting for the day I would be happy with my body and that day will never come. This was evidenced by my smaller framed friends who had a litany of complaints about why men wouldn’t find them attractive. Again, the unrealistic body dysmorphia rears its ugly head no matter WHAT you look like.

Pamela Madsen, who wrote the book Shameless: How I Ditched The Diet, Got Naked, Found True Pleasure and Somehow Got Home in Time to Cook Dinner says “If you work on embracing who you are – every single day just like a religious practice – things will change in your world.” I completely agree. No more negative self-talk ever.

So here’s the deal I’m not going to tell you to look in the mirror and say affirmations that you’re beautiful and sexy or tell yourself “I love you the way you are;” that’s too big a jump. What I AM telling you is that if you can’t muster up something nice to think about yourself, at least say something factual and neutral like,  “this is the way I look and that’s that.” It’s accurate and at the same time makes you accept yourself the way you are. Once you have that under your belt move on up to “I look pretty good today” etc, but wait until you believe it.  The point being, you are never to put yourself down. And if you can’t compliment yourself, then at least say something objective, something you can believe.

The next step would be to start to become more comfortable in your body sexually as it is right now. Whether you’re plus-sized or not, I highly recommend you read the aforementioned book  Fat Sex: The Naked Truth by Rebecca Jane Weinstein. She’s plus sized, smart and has the experiences to back up what she preaches. Her book will feed you stories of women (and men) who feel the same or worse about their bodies and will inspire you.  Reading the stories of how others achieved their positive body image and started enjoying sex will help you get used to the notion that there are other people out there (perhaps even larger than you are) that have found their inner sex gods and goddesses.

There are also a plethora of body image and sex positive websites at your fingertips. One of my favorites is Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ website www.dodsonandross.com that has a wonderful DVD called Bodysex Workshop. This DVD teaches women not only how to feel good about their sexuality but shows REAL women with REAL bodies “taking care of business” (if you know what I mean.)  Other validating websites to check out: I Feel Myself http://www.Ifeelmyself.com which feature women from all over the world masturbating to orgasm. It’s liberating watching women of all shapes, sizes, colors and backgrounds enjoying the sexual pleasure that is their right. Pamela Madsen’s blog Being Shamelesswww.beingshameless.com offers Pamela’s words of wisdom on the spiritually based “sacred sexuality movement” and body image.

tumblr_m5asknvCUc1qeuufeo1_500If you are feeling frisky, even the porn world has something to offer. The multitude of amateur porn online also affords us the opportunity to watch women who look like us engaging in hot sex.  There are even porn sites dedicated to plus sized nude models like (my favorite) London Andrews and very popular plus sized porn star Kelly Shibari. There’s also “feminist porn” (also known as women’s porn or couples porn) brought to us by pioneers in the field like Candida RoyalleErika Lust and Tristan Taormino. This type of porn is made by women for women (and men) who enjoy a more sensual story and a focus on the woman’s pleasure as well as the man’s. Checking out this kind of porn might make you feel more a part of “the club” than traditional porn where the focus is mainly on the man’s gratification while they screw thin women with fake boobs (not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that).

Poor body image doesn’t doesn’t have to be debilitating. Your sexuality is part of who you are as a woman and human being and the plus sized woman should take steps to start empowering herself as an erotic, sexual being every woman should, really. If we can divorce our self-loathing (while we work on it, of course) from our sensual selves, then dating or sexual expression doesn’t have to be tied into body image and as a result, we can work on accepting ourselves while at the same time experiencing sexual pleasure.

Since I have accepted my body “as is,” not only have I had no problem finding men that find my me and my body sexy but I’ve been allowing myself to have some of the best sex of my life. I have come to understand and believe that sexual pleasure is not just meant for the “beautiful” and the “hard-bodied,” it’s a natural enjoyment that is your right as a human being. So take back that right. Ignore the messages from people, agencies and corporations trying to make you feel “less than” and take back control of what is inherently yours.

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© Copyright 2014 Elle Chase/Lady Cheeky All rights Reserved. Written For:www.EvolvedWorld.com, Sept. 2012

Nov 122013
 
Rachel Kramer Bussel shows of her latest anthology, The Big Book of Orgasms.

What do cupcakes, Hello Kitty and sex have in common? The answer is best- selling erotica writer, editor and anthologist Rachel Kramer Bussel. Aside from being a talented and accomplished erotica writer in her own right, one is immediately attracted to her girly sense of whimsy, fawning over cupcakes and Hello Kitty anything, to her keen sense of the carnal and concupiscent. It’s this sexy and charming juxtaposition that makes Rachel  and her work so alluring.

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WIN a copy of The Big Book of Orgasms from Cleis press!
CLICK THE BOOK ABOVE!

Her latest (and some say greatest) anthology The Big Book of Orgasms: 69 Sexy Stories (available in paperback and Kindle from Cleis Press) was just released this month. Not even half way through November and The Big Book of Orgasms has already  been able to glean enthusiastic reviews from readers and reviewers alike. This accomplishment has made me extra enthusiastic because I am lucky enough to have written one of those 69 Sexy Stories. You can read an excerpt from my true tale HERE. Perhaps the best part of this new anthology is it’s bite size portions of scream worthy stories (no more than 1200 words each) that make your entire body pulsate and sing.

There are some super-stars of erotica between those covers including: Emerald, Tess Danesi, Stella Harris and Rachel Kramer Bussel herself as well as some newbies (like myself). The Big Book of Orgasms is 351 pages tightly packed into a snug 7″ x 5″ paperback package you can carry in your pocketbook, perhaps fodder for 69 of your own sexy orgasms.

I asked Rachel to give me a list of her five favorite sex toys and a lube. Since one of her favorite sex toys IS lube, I decided to leave it at that. It’s an eclectic and sexy mix. Would you expect anything else from the Empress of Erotica?

RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL’S FIVE FAVORITE SEX TOYS:

Hitachi Magic Wand – my favorite, must have, go to vibrator. I use it to get off and to relax and also sometimes for back pain.

Tantus Pelt Paddle – though really all their silicon paddles pack a wonderful punch. I can’t take them all the time but when I get spanked with them it’s a special treat.

Crave Droplet Necklace – I love anything that I can multitask with, and this necklace is beautiful, makes me feel a little naughty when I wear it since I know I’m wearing something that can vibrate, and makes me feel like I can whip it off at any time and put it to good use. I also like that it’s small but strong.

Juliette Cuffs de Luxe – I’m a sucker for silk, and these feel and look amazing.

BabeLube by Babeland Lube! Last but not least, lube is the sex toy I use the most often and for the most variety of sexual activities. Main one I use is BabeLube, I’m not tied to it but like the pump bottle.

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Rachel Kramer Bussel:

Rachel Kramer Bussel is a New York-based author, editor, blogger and event organizer. She has written for numerous publications, including Alternative Press, CNN.com, The Daily Beast, The Frisky, Gothamist, The Hairpin, Huffington Post, Inked, Jezebel, Lemondrop, Mediabistro, The Nervous Breakdown, New York Post, New York Observer, New York Press, Playgirl, The Root, Salon, San Francisco Chronicle, Time Out New York, The Village Voice, xoJane and Zink. She has edited 40+ anthologies for Alyson Books, Avon Red, Cleis Press, Pretty Things Press, Ravenous Romance and Seal Press, including Anything for You: Erotica for Kinky Couples, Suite Encounters: Hotel Sex Stories, Going Down, Irresistible, Women in Lust, Orgasmic, Fast Girls, Passion, Obsessed, Bottoms Up, Spanked, Tasting Him, Tasting Her, Gotta Have It, The Mile High Club, Do Not Disturb: Hotel Sex Stories, Best Bondage Erotica 2011 and 2012, Best Sex Writing 2008, 2009, 2010 and 2012, and 6 of her anthologies have won Gold IPPY (Independent Publisher) Awards for Erotica and Sexuality/Relationships. She has contributed to over 100 anthologies, including Susie Bright’s Best American Erotica 2004 and 2006 and X: The Erotic Treasury, as well as The Sexual State of the Union and Yes Means Yes.

Rachel conducts reading and erotic writing workshops worldwide, and including Chicago, Las Vegas, London, Minneapolis, New York, Portland, San Francisco, Seattle, and Toronto. She has presented, spoken and taught at conferences including Dark Odyssey, Erotic Authors Association, Sex 2.0, and SXSW. For five years, she hosted In The Flesh Erotic Reading Series in New York City, which featured 300 readers, including Kevin Allison, Jonathan Ames, Laura Antoniou, Mo Beasley, Susie Bright, Lily Burana, Kerry Cohen, Jessica Cutler, Mike Daisey, Mike Edison, Stephen Elliott, Polly Frost, Gael Greene, HoneyB (Mary Morrison), Debra Hyde, Maxim Jakubowski, Diana Joseph, Jillian Lauren, Neal Medlyn, Scott Poulson-Bryant, Julie Powell, Josh Kilmer-Purcell, M.J. Rose, Susan Shapiro, Danyel Smith, Grant Stoddard, Cecilia Tan, Carol Taylor, Jo Weldon, Susan Wright, and Zane, among others. Rachel holds a bachelor’s degree in political science and women’s studies from the University of California at Berkeley.

 

Oct 292013
 
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I’m super proud that Smut For Smarties has made the list of Kinkly.com’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013!

It’s an honor to be included among such sexy sex positive paragons as The Redhead Bedhead, Ashley Manta, Sunny Megatron, Hey Epiphora, Molly’s Daily Kiss, Queerie Bradshaw and the list goes on and on! Check out the top 5 and then toddle over to Kinkly.com to discover the rest. There’s a ton of fantastic blogs for you to check out. I discovered some new favorites and I’m certain you will too. Let me know which ones you like in the comment section. Have fun!

 

1. Heyepiphora.com (@Epiphora)

This sex toy reviewer has a mind-blowing sex toy collection, a “very discerning vagina” and an aversion to all things pink. She’s also got the words to keep you on her site for days.

2. Dangerouslilly.com (@Dangerouslilly)

This sharp-tongued sex geek and sex toy reviewer won our hearts with her big mouth – and crusade against crappy, unsafe sex toy materials.

3. Mollysdailykiss.com (@Mollysdailykiss)

Molly’s eclectic mix of erotic photography, body pride and erotic revelation is as unique as it is refreshing. She’s also a speaker, a submissive and the creator of Sinful Sunday.

4. Redheadbedhead.com (@Bedheadtweeting)

This redhead writer and sex educator has a mane that’s as fierce as her writing and a growing list of superhero sex-positive sex shops across the country. What’s not to love?

5. SmutForSmarties.com (@LadyCheeky)

On Smut for Smarties, Lady Cheeky does sex positive, body positive and feminist just right with a mix of interviews, reviews and thoughtful editorial.

 

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Click here for the rest!

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Oct 292013
 
kinklytop100:2013 copy

I’m super proud that Smut For Smarties has made the list of Kinkly.com’s Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013!

It’s an honor to be included among such sexy sex positive paragons as The Redhead Bedhead, Ashley Manta, Sunny Megatron, Hey Epiphora, Molly’s Daily Kiss, Queerie Bradshaw and the list goes on and on! Check out the top 5 and then toddle over to Kinkly.com to discover the rest. There’s a ton of fantastic blogs for you to check out. I discovered some new favorites and I’m certain you will too. Let me know which ones you like in the comment section. Have fun!

 

1. Heyepiphora.com (@Epiphora)

This sex toy reviewer has a mind-blowing sex toy collection, a “very discerning vagina” and an aversion to all things pink. She’s also got the words to keep you on her site for days.

2. Dangerouslilly.com (@Dangerouslilly)

This sharp-tongued sex geek and sex toy reviewer won our hearts with her big mouth – and crusade against crappy, unsafe sex toy materials.

3. Mollysdailykiss.com (@Mollysdailykiss)

Molly’s eclectic mix of erotic photography, body pride and erotic revelation is as unique as it is refreshing. She’s also a speaker, a submissive and the creator of Sinful Sunday.

4. Redheadbedhead.com (@Bedheadtweeting)

This redhead writer and sex educator has a mane that’s as fierce as her writing and a growing list of superhero sex-positive sex shops across the country. What’s not to love?

5. SmutForSmarties.com (@LadyCheeky)

On Smut for Smarties, Lady Cheeky does sex positive, body positive and feminist just right with a mix of interviews, reviews and thoughtful editorial.

 

kinklytop100:2013 copy
Click here for the rest!

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Sep 182013
 
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“Love Me Tender”

by JT Leroy

I think about you taking me somewhere else. Somewhere were you can tie me up and hang me. I think about getting in your car and driving somewhere. I know we are going some place where you can really punish me. I think about us driving there and feeling like nobody else knows. Folks might just think we’re just friends or Father and son. And while we’re in the car driving we can be any of those things. And I kind of don’t want that to end. I think about getting there and you telling me to take off my clothes. You hardly talk to me. I just know we’re going to go further. You have a bag filled with things. There is a hook and pulleys and I know some of what is coming.

You tell me how I am here only to satisfy you. You tie my hands, tie my feet to a leg spreader. You attach me hands to the hook above me. You put a blindfold on me and a gag. You hoist me into the air.

I am hanging naked, swinging.

I dream of you cutting me, finely with a razor. I dream of you burning me with your cigarette. I’ve watched you drag on so many times. I would like to be hanging there while you smoke, and watch you slowly bring the lit end closer and closer to my flesh. I dream of you whipping me till your arms are tired. This isn’t just something I think sounds good and I couldn’t do or take. I’ve done stuff like this all before. Pushed it really far. The difference is, they never hold me after. They do not care. They didn’t know me, know me emotionally, the way you do. I dream of you hitting me with your hand and fist. I think of you telling me how you need to punish me, discipline me. I think of you letting me know that while I’m visiting you, I can be punished at any time. We could be standing, cooking food and you could suddenly backhand my face. I won’t know when it is coming.

It can all be very gentle and loving. Just like a dream.

 

41GI6v4esPL._BO2,204,203,200_PIsitb-sticker-arrow-click,TopRight,35,-76_SX342_SY445_CR,0,0,342,445_SH20_OU02_Best Fetish Erotica Edited by Cara Bruce can be won by signing up for the Smut For Smarties Email List!

 

Best Fetish Erotica Edited by Cara Bruce

 Get your kink on.

A stunning array of top writers on the subject of sex get their kink on in Best Fetish Erotica. These explicit stories of obsessive desire unlock the door to the world of erotic fetishes, from Susie Bright’s encounter with a sleazy furry in “Selfish Fetish,” to Jerry Stahl’s confessional “Girdle Boy,” to Alison Tyler’s fascination with knives in “Blades” (which gives new meaning to the term “edge play”), and the nonstop provocation of “Man and Woman: A Study in Black and White” by Rachel Resnick.

Those who have a fetish find sexual energy in places that others miss—and in Best Fetish Erotica, editor Cara Bruce unspools the tantalizing attractions of spanking, corsets, rubber, crossdressing, spike heels, cigarette smoke, fast cars, money, and much more.

“A collection of heady, smart and edgy stories that open the door to the world of erotic fetishes. Twenty expert authors delve into fetishes that range from the commonplace to the lurid, and serve up stories that combine literary craftsmanship with explicit sex—with a twist, of course.” —Good Vibrations

“Cara Bruce is San Francisco’s hippest young erotica writer.” —San Francisco Examiner

“Cara Bruce’s writing is as good as it gets.” —PlayboyTV

CARA BRUCE is the editor of several erotic anthologies including Best Bisexual Women’s Erotica, Viscera: An Anthology of Bizarre Erotica, and Horny? San Francisco and is the publisher ofEmbraces: Dark Erotica. Her short stories have been published in numerous anthologies, including Best American Erotica 2001, The Unmade Bed, The Oy of Sex, and Best Lesbian Erotica 2000.

 

CLEIS PRESS publishes provocative, intelligent books across genres. Whether literary fiction, human rights, mystery, romance, erotica, LGBTQ studies, sex guides, pulp fiction, or memoir, you know that if it’s outside the ordinary, it’s Cleis Press. Read an interview with Cleis Press founders Felice Newman and Frédérique Delacoste, and check out this Bay Area Reporter article on our new Publisher, Brenda Knight!

 

Sep 052013
 

kinky-ltblue_zps2d48bc2fSo excited to be included in DatingAdvice.com’s panoply of sultry, sexy and smart sex blogs! DatingAdvice.com is a collection of dating experts who dispense wisdom on “all things dating” daily.

Check them all out and follow them. You won’t be sorry! xo LC

 

Sep 052013
 

kinky-ltblue_zps2d48bc2fSo excited to be included in DatingAdvice.com’s panoply of sultry, sexy and smart sex blogs! DatingAdvice.com is a collection of dating experts who dispense wisdom on “all things dating” daily.

Check them all out and follow them. You won’t be sorry! xo LC

 

Jun 072013
 
BawdyLA-April-24-ElCid-204x300

If you weren’t in Los Angeles for Bawdy Storytelling, No Holds Barred at the fabulous El Cid in April and missed my story … here it is should you want to

take a listen by clicking the link below. 

Lady Cheeky Cheeky Swings at Bawdy Storytelling LA!

BawdyLA-April-24-ElCid

Now, go buy your tickets for the next L.A. Bawdy Storytelling show which I promise will be a SEX GEEK BLOWOUT!

Get tickets HERE for ‘Bawdy’s Sex Geek Secrets’ on JUNE 27th at BUSBY’s EAST which will feature a live 100th Anniversary podcast of Nerdist’s SEX NERD SANDRA!

Performers include:
– Nerdist.com sex blogger Sex Nerd Sandra
– Sex educator & Role Model Reid Mihalko
– Physicist & Pornstar Ned Mayhem
– Music by Windows to Sky
- Way more storytellers to come!

next_event_staticThank you Dixie De La Tour for inviting me and for coaching me through the scary! Thank you Ethan Feerst for being a tech wizard and cutting my piece so I could have it for posterity!

 

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