Dec 012013
 
images-1

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 – Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition

QUOTED:

He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said – Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post

 

 

 

Dec 012013
 
images-1

Lick by Lick, Blow by Blow Oral Sex Kit by Lady Cheeky

Lady Cheeky, Redhead Bedhead, Lucky Bloke Team Up For Safer Sex Kits

Top 100 Sex Bloggers of 2013

Outside the Box: Reflections Glass Wand with Lady Cheeky

Big, Beautiful Sex with Lady Cheeky

Our Top 100 Sex Blogging Superheroes of 2013 – Kinkly.com

Lady Cheeky on Her Sexual Awakening – Sex Is Back Campaign

10 Sexeellent Ideas: Pleasure Products Mavens Share Their Ideas … – AVN Magazine

Best Kinky Sex Blogs – DatingAdvice.com

Best Sex Blog – LA Weekly Web Awards 2013

Sex In Words: The Hook-up Interview with Lady Cheeky

The Best of Tumblr Porn – Salon.com

How Lady Cheeky Got Her Groove Back – GramPonante.com

Sex and Happiness Show with Laurie Handlers – Discovering Sexuality After 40 – Internet talk Radio

Jane’s Guide Recommendation

Sex Industry Influencers and Thought Leaders Luxury Sex Toy Recommendations

Lady Cheeky’s Sex Satori – TheRumpus.net

Winner: True Tales of Erotica Competition

QUOTED:

He Said, She Said: 10 Things We Wish Sex Ed Taught Us – Huffington Post

CatalystCon Continues to Ask Challenging Questions – GramPonante.com

We Accosted Sex Experts With a Mic – Here’s What They Said – Kinkly.com

Smaller Package, Better Lover? – Huffington Post

 

 

 

Aug 062013
 

By Elle Chase  

vulvasThis week, I found three year old article on www.MamaMia.com.au online regarding Australian Classification Board’s (think the the Australian version of the MPAA except it includes all video games, films and published materials) censorship of the natural state of a woman’s vulva in magazines. In it, journalist Mia Freedman (who also wrote the pieces I’ve linked to below) describes it in the following way (in an article that can be read HERE in full):

” … the basic situation is that any magazine featuring a picture of a naked woman, had to digitally remove anything visible outside the ‘single slit’ of the vaginal lips. So any stray bits of labia or clitoris had to be airbrushed out. Because it was deemed OFFENSIVE.”

and

“any magazine showing any ‘genital detail’ must be sold in a sealed plastic bag. Like pornography. And I’m not talking about explicit legs akimbo shots, just shots of a normal girl standing up with her legs closed. She must look like Barbie or the airbrush will be deployed to make the censors happy and protect our sensitive eyes from OFFENSIVE VISIBLE LADY PARTS.”

As you would expect, noted Australian Feminists have been up in arms about this for years to no avail. Their frustration is palpable. It’s bad enough that women are taught (intentionally or no) that their sexuality should be hidden, now the Australian government is literally sending a message that if their vulvas don’t look a certain way, there’s something wrong with them. To make matters worse, it seems that the Australian Classification Board denies they have any mandate to excise the labia minora from pictures of naked women. But all ‘soft-core’ men’s magazines and any other publication that ‘could be deemed inappropriate for a minor’ has been digitally altering women’s vulva’s for about 10 years in order to escape the wrath of the Board..

I have read the Australian ‘National Classification Code’ posted online HERE, and while it does not specifically list the excising of the labia minora from photos, being non-specific seems to be the (intentional?) real problem.

If you’re curious as to what non-specificity looks like, read on:

1. Classification decisions are to give effect, as far as possible, to the following principles:

(a) adults should be able to read, hear, see and play what they want; (b) **minors should be protected from material likely to harm or disturb them; (c) everyone should be protected from exposure to unsolicited material that they find offensive; (d) the need to take account of community concerns about: (i) depictions that condone or incite violence, particularly sexual violence; and (ii) the portrayal of persons in a demeaning manner.

2 Publications (except RC publications) that:

(a) ***explicitly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (b) depict, describe or express revolting or abhorrent phenomena in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult and are unsuitable for a minor to see or read

Category 2 restricted

3 Publications (except RC publications and Category 2 restricted publications) that:

(a) explicitly depict nudity, or describe or impliedly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults, in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (b) describe or express in detail violence or sexual activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (c) are unsuitable for a minor to see or read

Category 1 restricted

4 All other publications Unrestricted

Nowhere else in the code or it’s amendments does it get any more specific about just what kind of material they are protecting minors from that is considered  **”likely to harm or disturb them.”   This means that somewhere, someone sits behind a desk with a big red pen and a singular opinion, deciding just would cause harm to the average Australian minor. Are sex education materials that show the labia minora offensive? How about medical journals and trade magazines? I mean, certainly a minor could come across such provocative pictures in the doctor’s office? This should scare the average Australian way more than it seems to, especially in light of the “adult opt-in policy”  that the UK’s Prime Minister David Cameron is about to put into effect.

And what about this little passage?

*** “explicitly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence (sic) to a reasonable adult; or (b) depict, describe or express revolting or abhorrent phenomena in a way that is likely to cause offence (sic) to a reasonable adult and are unsuitable for a minor to see or read.”

Who decides what “revolting and abhorrent phenomena” or what a “reasonable adult” is? Perhaps someone who believes in a different God? Maybe someone who believes homosexuality is deviant? Possibly someone who regards the Transgender individual’s sexuality as indecent? No way to tell.

And that’s the point.

With so much room for interpretation amid rapacious denials of the controversial censorship or “editing,” can the banning of  images of male foreskin be far behind? But seriously, even in that case the “harm” has less potential, as men have the opportunity to see one another’s genitals in the restroom from an early age, where women have no societal structure where they come in visual contact with each others vulvas (as pointed out by Kirsten Drysdale).

As a child until I was about 18, I had only seen my mother’s vulva, which differed completely from mine. Her labia minora lips fell past her majora folds and mine did not. I felt as if something were wrong with me, or rationalized that this kind of stretched out labia minora happened after a woman had given birth. It was only until I was 18 and performing in theatre productions when I was able to see other women’s vulvas in the dressing room and realized that it’s natural for the vulva to have differences in size, shape, color and texture. What of the young Australian women who come across photos of vulvas, all digitally altered to look the same? What subconscious or conscious message will take root in their brain if they don’t resemble what’s in those pictures?

We’ve seen what fashion magazines and the media have done to women’s self esteem in reverence to the tall, skinny ideal of womanhood. It’s given our daughters eating disorders, caused out kindergarteners to go on diets and supported a multi-billion dollar diet industry worldwide to fix it all. This vulva editing is no different than shaming women for not being thin and the stakes are just as high.

Via: mediadissemination.wordpress.com

Via: mediadissemination.wordpress.com

If I were tasked to write a new National Classification Code for the Australian Classification Board, I think I might be a little more worried about the proliferation of violence against women in the magazines they police.

Case in point, this Australian ad for Melbourne shoe company, Luella was allowed to be published n 2009.

Although, it was pulled shortly after it hit the stands, this awful ad apparently didn’t have editors of the magazine it appeared in nervous enough that they would be chastised by the Classification Board if they published it. This is just one example speaking to the fact that according to the Australian Classification Board, a woman’s vulva in it’s natural state is more disturbing and causes more harm to our children’s minds than an ad with a woman tied up and stuffed in a trunk to sell shoes

Check out the original article that sparked this post (below):

Healing It To A Single Crease by Kirsten Drysdale for HungryBeast.com

Why Australian Law Demands All Vaginas Be Digitally Altered (NSFW) by Mia Freedman

Genital Surgery: Two Words You Don’t want to Hear in the Same Sentence by Mia Freedma

Classification Board Squirms Over Vagina Censorship in This Hungry Beast Interview

Additional articles on the subject:

Do Vaginas Belong on a Magazine Cover? from www.urbansociety.com.au

9/17/13 – ADDENDUM: The Beautiful Kind recently posted THIS about PLAYBOY airbrushing vulvas out this year.

Aug 062013
 

By Elle Chase  

vulvasThis week, I found three year old article on www.MamaMia.com.au online regarding Australian Classification Board’s (think the the Australian version of the MPAA except it includes all video games, films and published materials) censorship of the natural state of a woman’s vulva in magazines. In it, journalist Mia Freedman (who also wrote the pieces I’ve linked to below) describes it in the following way (in an article that can be read HERE in full):

” … the basic situation is that any magazine featuring a picture of a naked woman, had to digitally remove anything visible outside the ‘single slit’ of the vaginal lips. So any stray bits of labia or clitoris had to be airbrushed out. Because it was deemed OFFENSIVE.”

and

“any magazine showing any ‘genital detail’ must be sold in a sealed plastic bag. Like pornography. And I’m not talking about explicit legs akimbo shots, just shots of a normal girl standing up with her legs closed. She must look like Barbie or the airbrush will be deployed to make the censors happy and protect our sensitive eyes from OFFENSIVE VISIBLE LADY PARTS.”

As you would expect, noted Australian Feminists have been up in arms about this for years to no avail. Their frustration is palpable. It’s bad enough that women are taught (intentionally or no) that their sexuality should be hidden, now the Australian government is literally sending a message that if their vulvas don’t look a certain way, there’s something wrong with them. To make matters worse, it seems that the Australian Classification Board denies they have any mandate to excise the labia minora from pictures of naked women. But all ‘soft-core’ men’s magazines and any other publication that ‘could be deemed inappropriate for a minor’ has been digitally altering women’s vulva’s for about 10 years in order to escape the wrath of the Board..

I have read the Australian ‘National Classification Code’ posted online HERE, and while it does not specifically list the excising of the labia minora from photos, being non-specific seems to be the (intentional?) real problem.

If you’re curious as to what non-specificity looks like, read on:

1. Classification decisions are to give effect, as far as possible, to the following principles:

(a) adults should be able to read, hear, see and play what they want; (b) **minors should be protected from material likely to harm or disturb them; (c) everyone should be protected from exposure to unsolicited material that they find offensive; (d) the need to take account of community concerns about: (i) depictions that condone or incite violence, particularly sexual violence; and (ii) the portrayal of persons in a demeaning manner.

2 Publications (except RC publications) that:

(a) ***explicitly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (b) depict, describe or express revolting or abhorrent phenomena in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult and are unsuitable for a minor to see or read

Category 2 restricted

3 Publications (except RC publications and Category 2 restricted publications) that:

(a) explicitly depict nudity, or describe or impliedly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults, in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (b) describe or express in detail violence or sexual activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence to a reasonable adult; or (c) are unsuitable for a minor to see or read

Category 1 restricted

4 All other publications Unrestricted

Nowhere else in the code or it’s amendments does it get any more specific about just what kind of material they are protecting minors from that is considered  **”likely to harm or disturb them.”   This means that somewhere, someone sits behind a desk with a big red pen and a singular opinion, deciding just would cause harm to the average Australian minor. Are sex education materials that show the labia minora offensive? How about medical journals and trade magazines? I mean, certainly a minor could come across such provocative pictures in the doctor’s office? This should scare the average Australian way more than it seems to, especially in light of the “adult opt-in policy”  that the UK’s Prime Minister David Cameron is about to put into effect.

And what about this little passage?

*** “explicitly depict sexual or sexually related activity between consenting adults in a way that is likely to cause offence (sic) to a reasonable adult; or (b) depict, describe or express revolting or abhorrent phenomena in a way that is likely to cause offence (sic) to a reasonable adult and are unsuitable for a minor to see or read.”

Who decides what “revolting and abhorrent phenomena” or what a “reasonable adult” is? Perhaps someone who believes in a different God? Maybe someone who believes homosexuality is deviant? Possibly someone who regards the Transgender individual’s sexuality as indecent? No way to tell.

And that’s the point.

With so much room for interpretation amid rapacious denials of the controversial censorship or “editing,” can the banning of  images of male foreskin be far behind? But seriously, even in that case the “harm” has less potential, as men have the opportunity to see one another’s genitals in the restroom from an early age, where women have no societal structure where they come in visual contact with each others vulvas (as pointed out by Kirsten Drysdale).

As a child until I was about 18, I had only seen my mother’s vulva, which differed completely from mine. Her labia minora lips fell past her majora folds and mine did not. I felt as if something were wrong with me, or rationalized that this kind of stretched out labia minora happened after a woman had given birth. It was only until I was 18 and performing in theatre productions when I was able to see other women’s vulvas in the dressing room and realized that it’s natural for the vulva to have differences in size, shape, color and texture. What of the young Australian women who come across photos of vulvas, all digitally altered to look the same? What subconscious or conscious message will take root in their brain if they don’t resemble what’s in those pictures?

We’ve seen what fashion magazines and the media have done to women’s self esteem in reverence to the tall, skinny ideal of womanhood. It’s given our daughters eating disorders, caused out kindergarteners to go on diets and supported a multi-billion dollar diet industry worldwide to fix it all. This vulva editing is no different than shaming women for not being thin and the stakes are just as high.

Via: mediadissemination.wordpress.com

Via: mediadissemination.wordpress.com

If I were tasked to write a new National Classification Code for the Australian Classification Board, I think I might be a little more worried about the proliferation of violence against women in the magazines they police.

Case in point, this Australian ad for Melbourne shoe company, Luella was allowed to be published n 2009.

Although, it was pulled shortly after it hit the stands, this awful ad apparently didn’t have editors of the magazine it appeared in nervous enough that they would be chastised by the Classification Board if they published it. This is just one example speaking to the fact that according to the Australian Classification Board, a woman’s vulva in it’s natural state is more disturbing and causes more harm to our children’s minds than an ad with a woman tied up and stuffed in a trunk to sell shoes

Check out the original article that sparked this post (below):

Healing It To A Single Crease by Kirsten Drysdale for HungryBeast.com

Why Australian Law Demands All Vaginas Be Digitally Altered (NSFW) by Mia Freedman

Genital Surgery: Two Words You Don’t want to Hear in the Same Sentence by Mia Freedma

Classification Board Squirms Over Vagina Censorship in This Hungry Beast Interview

Additional articles on the subject:

Do Vaginas Belong on a Magazine Cover? from www.urbansociety.com.au

9/17/13 – ADDENDUM: The Beautiful Kind recently posted THIS about PLAYBOY airbrushing vulvas out this year.

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

B455

The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  – Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom – Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

Jun 142013
 
Travel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam

masturbation-featureWhen I finally discovered my sensuality at age 40, I couldn’t stop masturbating. I touched myself morning, noon and night. In front of the TV, while I was on the phone, laying in bed next to my (soon to be ex) husband. I even did it while waiting in an interminable line in the drive-thru for In-n-Out Burger. I couldn’t be stopped. The fortuitous  day I discovered I had a sex drive, and it needed to be taken out of the garage, was the beginning of a beautiful, intimate and HOT relationship with myself. In the past when I pleasured myself I had always used my fingers and exclusively on my clit. But this new “discovery” had rendered my fingers and right arm tired and sore, so I decided a branching out into the world of vibrators was in store.

Here I was, 40 years old and living in the big city of Los Angeles and I had never been to a sex shop for anything other than a laugh (“Omigod! They had a giant rubber fist!”). But now I was horny with a right arm that nearly needed a sling and something had to be done… and QUICK. My sister-in-law had spoken about her “rabbit” and how it was her only outlet for orgasm since she purchased it. Done. “A rabbit it is!” I thought, and I toddled off to the famous Pleasure Chest in West Hollywood.

I-RABBITThe Pleasure Chest had a stellar reputation for having voluminous product as well as being more educational than just your average brick and mortar sex toy store. And since I needed more than ‘penis pasta’ as a gag gift for a bridesmaid I thought this was the perfect choice … and I was right. That day, with the sage help from The Pleasure Chest employee, I came home with the Jimmyjane Iconic Rabbit, and I couldn’t have been more pleased.

Since then, I’ve discovered how important it is to uncover new ways to pleasure myself. If I had been satisfied with using my trusty fingers the rest of my life, I wouldn’t have experienced the tantalizing orgasms that the rabbit brought me. In case you find yourself in a similar situation, I thought I would lend a … (echem) … “hand” and give you some pointers. Here are some of my tips to get to know your body a bit better and some types of toys that showed me different ways to cum.

TOUCH:  First of all, I highly encourage women everywhere to touch, caress and fondle themselves. Your body craves touch and if you’re not getting it anywhere else, you need to provide it. Even if you are getting it somewhere else, exploring your body is essential to knowing your sexual and sensual self.

Start by dragging your fingers slowly over your shoulders like you’re hugging yourself. Give yourself that comforting feeling while you pay attention to how your skin reacts. Touch your hips, your stomach, your nipples, your neck your thighs … take note of what areas are more sensitive than others and explore those a little more. I highly promote spending a lot of time on those areas of your body that you feel negatively about. We ALL have them and owning their shapes and curves … making those parts feel loved and not shamed is part of a necessary regimen for owning your body in all it’s uniqueness and beauty.

SEX TOY 101: BASICS:  Whether it’s a vibrator, a dildo or a vibrating dildo there areTravel photography Netherlands North Holland sex and prostitution in Amsterdam many choices out there. If you have no idea what you think you’ll like, ask a trusted friend or do what I did and go to a local, brick and mortar, sex-positive, sex toy shop and ask one of the staff (see some of my favorites around the country below, or click here >> The Redhead Bedhead’s comprehensive list ). These local shop employees are often well-trained, not just in what their store carries but they are usually sex educators in their own right and also happen to know what their customers tend to like and recommend.

If it’s your first time buying a sex toy, start with something that has the potential to become your “go to toy,” a toy that will never fail in your time of need, a trusty swain that will always come when called and never leave you high and dry (ok, enough with the puns). Always make certain your toy is ‘phalate-free‘ (phalates are a harmful chemical sometimes used in the production of “jelly like” sex toys) and always, always, always buy some lube.

3579-a-pjur-toy-lubeUsing a sex toy without lube, is like riding a horse without a saddle … painful, bumpy and you’re invariably sore the next day. Check with the salesperson about what lube is recommended with the toy you’re purchasing and get a nice big bottle. Personally, I like Pjur Toy Lube or my handy jar of The Butter.

SEX TOY 202: EXPERIMENTATION:  One of my favorite axioms is “how do you know what you like if you don’t know what you don’t like?” This idea always frees me up to try new and unique toys that I might never consider. Take the WeVibe3 for instance. It’s essentially marketed as a couples toy, and while I was between lovers when I bought it, I thought I might see how it worked on me … solo. I was glad I did. I manipulated that toy in so many different ways I thought I would break it. Thank God, I couldn’t destroy that thing if I tried. The motor was STRONG and was fantastic for clitoral orgasms. I tried it inside of me, in my ass, inside of me AND in my ass at the same time … soon it became one of my favorite toys to get off. Had I not be open to trying something new, I never would have purchased it.

126762443_power-bullet-g-wisteria---g-spot-vibrator-color-lavenderI even discovered my g-spot using a sex toy! Using an angled vibrating device called The Slimline and a vibrating bullet on my clit, I was able to orgasm in a way that was completely new and joyously different than anything I had felt before. This was the most intense orgasm I’ve felt to date and all because I ventured past what I would normally would have in buying a sex toy.

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The same goes for the vibrating butt plug. Butt plugs TERRIFIED me, but I knew that when I was with a lover and he massaged my anus and sometimes slipped a finger in during sex, it drove me over the edge. I took a deep breath and took the … uh … plunge. Because I felt the fear and did it anyway, I have experiencedincredible and unique orgasms I never would have had on my own. In fact, because I got comfortable with anal penetration by myself first, I felt more comfortable trying it when I did have a partner. My new partner found it sexy. I found it pleasurable. We had a GREAT time. Everybody wins!

SEX TOY 303: EVERYDAY ITEMS AND MORE:  I’ve also explored using things you might not consider “toys,” like hot tub jets, water from a garden hose and my partner’s thigh to name a few, all in an effort to discover different ways to cum and different methods to do it.

If you are still unsure or embarrassed or just feel like you don’t know where to turn there are plenty of ways you can become familiar with masturbation without leaving the comfort of your own home.

BOOKS:  I really found Sherri Winston’s Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Unknownand Betty Dodson’s Sex For One: The Joy of Selfloving to be extremely helpful and inspirational. If you have any shame attached to pleasuring yourself these books gently guide through the process like a good friend. If you are an experienced masturbator, these books might guide you in different pleasurable directions.

DVD/INTERNET: I recently was sent the whole set of Unknown-2jessica drake’s Guide to Wicked Sex on DVD. I was very pleased to see one of the topics was Female Masturbation. It’s explicit, educational and HOT! There are also a couple of sites I recommend of real people (not actors) masturbating which shows you how everyone is different and pleasures themselves in different ways. Dodson and Ross (a more clinical approach) and I Feel Myself and Beautiful Agony, both of which show amateur/real women getting off. The last two are artfully and simply shot and erotic to watch.

At the end of the day it’s up to you to discover your pleasure zones and what does and doesn’t turn you on. Masturbation is, as Woody Allen put it “sex with someone you love,” but it’s also a gateway to adventure with your current or future partner. Our bodies were built to experience sexual pleasure. Now that you have the tools, why not see how much pleasure you can find in your body!

Sex-Positive, Brick & Mortar Sex Toy Shops Around the Country:

  1. The Pleasure Chest  – Los Angeles, Las Vegas, Chicago, New York
  2. The Stockroom – Los Angeles
  3. Good Vibrations – San Francisco & Boston
  4. The Smitten Kitten – Minneapolis
  5. Babeland – Seattle & New York City
  6. SheBop – Portland

And a super shout out and wet kiss with tongue to the website She-Vibe, who continuously provides not only a fantastic selection of toys but great illustrations as well!

For more, check out The Redhead Bedhead for a more complete list (plus, she has a fantastic blog!)

Disclosure: The Stockroom, Good Vibrations, are affiliates of LadyCheeky.com. The only item in this article that was sent to me free of charge was the jessica drake DVD on Female Masturbation. All of my recommendations in the above blog post are honest representations of my personal opinions.

 

 

 

Jun 112013
 
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By Lady Cheeky

In the past few weeks, the media has been rife with stories about actor Michael Douglas’ claim that his recent bout with throat cancer was caused by HPV.  HPV (short for Human Papillomavirus) is a sexually transmitted disease with over 150 strains, 40 of which directly affect our mucus membranes, making its transmission through sexual contact (vaginal, anal, oral) quite easy.

The controversy at hand is whether it is, in fact, true that Mr. Douglas’s cancer was caused by HPV, which he was exposed to (in his opinion) through years of unprotected cunnilingus. People are focusing on whether or not this can be true since Mr. Douglas’s years of drinking and smoking are well documented and could easily be the culprit. There is a persistent hum of criticism that Mr. Douglas would rather attribute his cancer to his sexual bravado than to a perceived insouciance toward the repercussions of a life of smoking and drinking.

However, recent studies have shown that HPV has surpassed tobacco as the leading cause of mouth cancers (75% of mouth/throat cancers are caused by HPV), so while it may be true that smoking & drinking put him at risk, it is also a fact that the type of cancer that Mr. Douglas was treated for is the kind that is most often connected with HPV, and detected mostly in men.

But to pay attention to the proverbial tennis match between Michael Douglas’s publicist and the news media is to gloss over the real point. The real point is, that HPV is the most common sexually transmitted disease to date and an STI that 90% of sexually active Americans carry in some form or another and most times show no outward signs of the virus.  The fact is, HPV can be contracted through unprotected cunnilingus and it can cause the … TO READ THE REST, CLICK HERE

Jan 172013
 

sexual-position-conception-1If you’ve done some research or have a little practical experience, you likely already know that experimenting with a wide range of sexual play is the key to great sex, as most women don’t orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse alone. However, this doesn’t mean that orgasms during intercourse are out of the question. In fact, orgasms that combine penetration with clitoral stimulation can be intensely satisfying for all parties involved.

One approach to orgasm-inducing intercourse involves the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). This positioning and movement can provide a woman with both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, stimulate a man’s shaft and prostatic nerves and does not require any challenging gymnastic moves or flexibility. Hooray! Because we’re tired of swinging off chandeliers, right?

The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or pelvic bone. Here’s the basic breakdown:

  1. The woman lies on her back and the man lies on top inserting his penis into the vagina.
  2. He then shifts his body upwards along hers (he can rest his hands/arms beside her head) so that the base of his penis and pelvic bone press firmly against her clitoral hood and pelvic bone.
  3. Often the CAT involves the woman pressing her pelvis upwards and wrapping her feet around his calves.
  4. Play with synchronized rocking and rubbing movements as opposed to in-and-out thrusting.
  5. Some women find intensified pleasure in squeezing their legs together during the CAT to create greater friction and tension. This squeezing sensation can also intensify the male partner’s pleasure.

CAT-300x165Sound technical? It’s really quite simple and feels a lot better than it looks on paper. Don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself!

Once you’ve got the hang of rubbing the clitoral hood and female pelvic bone against the hard base of the penis and/or male pelvic bone during intercourse, you can modify the CAT into a range of other positions on your side or even upside down.

If the CAT doesn’t make you tingle with passion, don’t feel the need to give up on intercourse entirely. No singular approach to pleasure works for every woman, but if you keep experimenting, you’ll find your triggers. Play with running water, vibrating toys, fingers, tongues and fantasy until you find your toes curling with pleasure beneath the sheets (or on the hood of the car as the case may be).

And ladies and gents, please don’t ignore all your other beautiful erogenous zones: the brain, breasts, thighs, backs of knees, feet, palms, neck, ears, belly, bum and more!

Some women can orgasm through fantasy alone and others can reach the heights of ecstasy with a little breast play. Others swear by anal stimulation, while some find sharing of far-fetched fantasies incomparable as a means to orgasmic release.

Combine any of these activities to find what works for you. With the right attitude and a healthy sense of humour, you should enjoy both the process and the end result.

Have fun experimenting and always practice safer sex!

Originally published in Eligible Magazine.com  14 March 2012

5Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a sought-after sexologist with a PhD in human sexuality. She maintains a private practice in Toronto and travels the world to speak at events that promote healthy and deliciously pleasurable sex. From regular appearances on Cosmopolitan Television and Playboy TV to hosting retreats in the sunny Caribbean, she relishes in every moment! Check out her website SexWithDrJess.com, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Jan 172013
 

sexual-position-conception-1If you’ve done some research or have a little practical experience, you likely already know that experimenting with a wide range of sexual play is the key to great sex, as most women don’t orgasm during penile-vaginal intercourse alone. However, this doesn’t mean that orgasms during intercourse are out of the question. In fact, orgasms that combine penetration with clitoral stimulation can be intensely satisfying for all parties involved.

One approach to orgasm-inducing intercourse involves the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT). This positioning and movement can provide a woman with both vaginal and clitoral stimulation, stimulate a man’s shaft and prostatic nerves and does not require any challenging gymnastic moves or flexibility. Hooray! Because we’re tired of swinging off chandeliers, right?

The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or pelvic bone. Here’s the basic breakdown:

  1. The woman lies on her back and the man lies on top inserting his penis into the vagina.
  2. He then shifts his body upwards along hers (he can rest his hands/arms beside her head) so that the base of his penis and pelvic bone press firmly against her clitoral hood and pelvic bone.
  3. Often the CAT involves the woman pressing her pelvis upwards and wrapping her feet around his calves.
  4. Play with synchronized rocking and rubbing movements as opposed to in-and-out thrusting.
  5. Some women find intensified pleasure in squeezing their legs together during the CAT to create greater friction and tension. This squeezing sensation can also intensify the male partner’s pleasure.

CAT-300x165Sound technical? It’s really quite simple and feels a lot better than it looks on paper. Don’t take my word for it. Try it out for yourself!

Once you’ve got the hang of rubbing the clitoral hood and female pelvic bone against the hard base of the penis and/or male pelvic bone during intercourse, you can modify the CAT into a range of other positions on your side or even upside down.

If the CAT doesn’t make you tingle with passion, don’t feel the need to give up on intercourse entirely. No singular approach to pleasure works for every woman, but if you keep experimenting, you’ll find your triggers. Play with running water, vibrating toys, fingers, tongues and fantasy until you find your toes curling with pleasure beneath the sheets (or on the hood of the car as the case may be).

And ladies and gents, please don’t ignore all your other beautiful erogenous zones: the brain, breasts, thighs, backs of knees, feet, palms, neck, ears, belly, bum and more!

Some women can orgasm through fantasy alone and others can reach the heights of ecstasy with a little breast play. Others swear by anal stimulation, while some find sharing of far-fetched fantasies incomparable as a means to orgasmic release.

Combine any of these activities to find what works for you. With the right attitude and a healthy sense of humour, you should enjoy both the process and the end result.

Have fun experimenting and always practice safer sex!

Originally published in Eligible Magazine.com  14 March 2012

5Dr. Jessica O’Reilly is a sought-after sexologist with a PhD in human sexuality. She maintains a private practice in Toronto and travels the world to speak at events that promote healthy and deliciously pleasurable sex. From regular appearances on Cosmopolitan Television and Playboy TV to hosting retreats in the sunny Caribbean, she relishes in every moment! Check out her website SexWithDrJess.com, follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Jan 032013
 

evi_4x6postcard-1Originally appeared in AVN Business Sep 24th, 2012 

LONG BEACH, Calif.—Evi, the revolutionary hands-free Kegel exerciser by health-conscious manufacturer Aneros, made its debut before an audience of sex experts, health advocates and discerning consumers at the CatalystCon conference in Long Beach, Calif., Sept. 14-16.

Evi was presented to CatalystCon attendees by Ducky Dolittle, a renowned sexpert of more than 20 years. Doolittle’s seminar, “Kegels and the Art of Orgasm,” offered conference attendees a guided tour of the female anatomy and the benefits of strengthening PC muscles, which control urine flow and contract during orgasm. A self-proclaimed “Kegel monster,” Doolittle offered her full endorsement of Evi, noting her personal mind-blowing experience with Aneros’ latest revolutionary design and subsequent partnership with the brand after personally contacting Aneros.

“It’s totally unique,” Doolittle said in her presentation of Evi. “Aneros understands the anatomy unlike any other company.”

CatalystCon organizer Dee Dennis stated, “I was thrilled Aneros chose CatalystCon to debut Evi. CatalystCon is about creating change, and I feel we created something groundbreaking by launching a product not at the traditional industry trade show, but instead with actual sex education, going right to those who will use Evi. The message Aneros sent by debuting Evi at CatalystCon was their first concern is not bottom line or sales, but the sexual health and well being of those who will be using Evi.”

The hands-free device is anatomically designed to fit all women and is made of a velvety smooth medical-grade silicone material guaranteeing users sensual stimulation while strengthening PC muscles. With correct insertion, Evi alternately stimulates the G-spot and clitoris with a simple Kegel exercise, essentially providing pleasurable incentives for Kegel fitness.

Firm enough to pivot and hold its shape while providing comfort, Evi delivers an inner fullness by adapting to the anatomical contours of a woman’s vagina. Contracting and relaxing pelvic floor muscles causes Evi to caress the anterior wall of the vagina known as the G-spot, while externally stimulating the clit. The pace and pressure can be controlled by rocking and twirling the hips, thus offering women versatile stimulation.

Early reviews of Evi report strengthened PC muscles and intense orgasms marked by involuntary vaginal contractions, to which Evi responds by elongating the experience and often leading to female ejaculation. For newbies, Evi by Aneros offers a valuable tool for gauging PC muscle strength, while encouraging fitness with rewarding results during each use.

Sex Blogger and sex-positive activist Lady Cheeky said, “I was interested in Evi primarily for its Kegel focus. I found Evi provided me with a comfortable, and dare I say, enjoyable workout for my pelvic floor muscles. Once inserted, my Kegels were immediately engaged and intuitively clasped onto Evi, making the Kegel exercise itself thought-free. Extremely comfortable, I could walk, sit, and drive, all the while knowing Evi was secure and doing its job. Evi is like a barbell for your lady bits!”

“We attend a lot of conferences and have interacted with a lot of sponsors, and we’ve never been as impressed as we were with Aneros at CatalystCon,” stated EvilSlutopia.com co-founders and Executive Editors Lilith and Jezebel. “The fact they chose CatalystCon for the Evi launch says a lot about them as a company and their dedication to sex positivity and sex education …We’ve never seen any sponsor treat the conference organizer so well or be so genuinely nice, helpful, and professional and just overall fucking awesome to everyone.”

At the conclusion of Doolittle’s presentation of Evi at CatalystCon, a raffle sent several enthusiastic winners home with an Evi of their own—however, discarded packaging in the women’s bathroom suggested some women couldn’t wait to take Evi for a spin.

The demand for Evi also is evident on its dedicated Facebook page at Facebook.com/eviByAneros.

For more information on Evi by Aneros, or to enter a raffle to win an Evi, visit Aneros.com/evi/.

 

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